Monkeys Fist

Cancelled- got the wrong biscuits.

Ask Parky

He's just storing them for his mates

We've paid bigger plums for less, tbh.

They're there, just not very big.

What a fucking plum.

They'd just need to ask Paul Joannou

Here's one for sexy time.

I asked Gemmill what you would like for your birthday , he said, " Fuck him, he's a massive tit in a shiny suit". Too easy.....

Aye, boobs are pointless after Fish's monstrosity. Happy Birthday you big hairdresser.

But he was just getting in gear

Looks Italian. Give it 20 years then

Assuming he takes the job, if he's offered it. We might just not be able to get him over the line, despite our best efforts.

The fuck,apparently. It's all about the fuck.

Please, someone, tell me this is from the Comedy Dave account and not an actual quote from Piehead. Please.

Business as usual, then.

The fuck should I know

Having a wee browse through Reddit, and came across this. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chante_Jawan_Mallard So, a nursing assistant, whilst off her tits on coke, E and weed, drove into a homeless pedestrian with enough force for him to become stuck in her windscreen. She then drove home, parked in her garage, with the bloke still stuck in her windscreen, alive, but with survivably injured. She then left him there, without food, water or treatment, until he died. Then, with the help of two mates, they drove the car to a park and set it alight, with him still in it. Incredibly, it wasn't until 4 years later, when she was cracking jokes about it at a party, that she was implicated and charged. (She was sentenced to 60 years). Staggering.

I know what you mean- not being relegated and getting to a Wembley final- screw that.

Can you imagine Greg Davies as Mr. PM

Thank you for telling me how to do it. Mercifully, briefly.