Monkeys Fist

Where's my award?

During the course of cooking Le Menu de Vendredi Soir Chez Fist, ( Rib-eye steaks, Greek salad and sautéed shrooms, *dusts off the Gimp suit 'cos I'm cashing in my Nectar points!), Mrs. Fist got in a flap when I used a tea towel to wipe some water drops out of a hot steak pan-" Eeeeh, careful, you'll set fire to the tea towel!" Me- " Relax woman! I used to be a chef, no fires here tonight". Cut to a few minutes later, I'm cooking the steaks and think, " I can smell burning" The tea towel I'd put on the bench has unfurled and set alight Swift transfer to the sink, doused, binned, and some frantic wafting, and I've got away with it

TS groaners and Ron Swanson. Winning combo.

Well, that's cheered me right up.

The Muppet is way sexier.

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/kzPRQKO

Here's an option- don't act like a pack of cunts in future.

He wasn't really outside- do you see??Ha Ha Ha Ha?

So the other day when it was pissing down I noticed my son looking through the window with a really sad expression. After an hour or so I let him in.

Oooooo, how cuntroversial. The tribunal found the exact opposite to what you're saying- the club did treat him differently as a result of his cancer. ( is this you emulating your idol, and giving Authoritay the finger? )

Before During Finished

"Newcastle managing director Lee Charnley was described as "evasive and lacking in credibility". You don't say.

Don't forget the European adaptor, it's a bastard when you can't recharge "her".

Gemmill does Shirley Valentine

Would've been pretty shit to have your last words delivered like Alvin the Chipmunk.

There's an Alex Haley joke in here somewhere, but like Jimbo's Truro bird, I can't quite put my finger on it.

Wouldn't that be stiffing his customers, though?

Of course you haven't.