Monkeys Fist

He doesn’t watch films.

His head is rapidly approaching the width of his body.

Those were driving times, you gibbering southerner

Ohhh- yeah got a new crack pipe as an early Christmas prezzie?

Cheshire to London. 3:30hrs Cheshire to Newcastle 3:10 hrs. MIDLANDER!!!!!!

Tbf Renton, Blyth is further up than Tynemouth. Loads of cafes, too.

5, I say 5-0! Winning on pelanties after extra time. Gordon taking them all, I SAY GORDON TEKKIN’ THEM ALL!

Wrong David… mange-tout, mange-tout, Rodders.

What? Yes Gemmill or Sweaty Nonce?

Good man, if you need a hard-drive cleaner I’ve got thousands.

It’ll be a Who’s Who of the Tory Party over the last twenty years, with an honourable mention to a phone-hacking former editor* * which, since he denies it, is definitely NOT him.

I refuse to take one for the team. A man has limits.

Sweaty times ahead…

There’s definitely 100 sausages here, give or deduct a few.…

Yes. edit; oops

100 sausage gifs, incoming.

Hi Craig Good to hear you’re still with us, and getting the help you need mate. As has been said, anything we can do to help we’d be happy to. When I was having a wobble a while back I’d read the joke thread- didn’t make me laugh, but showed me that no matter how bad I felt things were, there’s nowt as bad as Gloomys jokes. Don’t be a stranger, but equally, don’t feel any pressure at all to post. 👍

Pigeons are where it’s at lads- I’ve not spoken to any cunt in nearly two years, with the added bonus that every message sent leaves a little shite on their car. * posted from my iPigeon

Hide the pickle

Honestly- fuck all. Quiff signed up an account with the username argamak, then made two or three innocuous posts about watching his ex getting buckled on OnlyFans*. Nowt new.

Right- sorry lads, I know this goes against the grain, but we’ve worked out that the fucking gimp toonraider2 has been posting from a homeless day centre for at least the last three years, possibly more. As much it’s like shooting fish ripping the piss out of him, we suspect he’s also, like many in his situation, having mental health struggles. There’s a fair whack of the Patreon money left over, so we thought it’d be nice to help the lad out with some accommodation. I’ve had a word with Mrs.F. who works for a large mackem housing association that rhymes with Pentoo, and she’s recommended we can put a deposit on one of their single-person flats for him, and surprisingly it’s less than we have in the TT pot. So, I know we usually put this to the vote, but we figured time was of the essence and you’re all decent people who would see the good. Naturally, since all the Patreon lads have contributed, it’s only fair you see what you’ve paid for. Without giving away his address or any other personal info, the cost and an exterior shot can be found by clicking here I’m sure you’ll all join me in wishing the tragically humourless skinflap a Happy Christmas in his new home.

What a gimp.

Wise words from Mr. Tobacco.