Monkeys Fist

He nicked that line from Ole Blue Eyes

Wasn’t sure where to put this, so here will do. Anyone had any experience of eating disorders? Mrs. F. and I are concerned with our daughter- she’s lost weight ( there was fuck all to lose in the first place) and her eating habits have changed fairly noticeably. Any other signs we should be aware of? Hopefully she’s just on some health kick, but if not I’d want to nip it in the bud and get professional help asap before it’s too bad.

Filthy hobbitses!

After bying a techno deck?

Oof- hope your Dad makes a good recovery mate.

Are the Smoggies represented by the background?

Even with my adrenaline junkie past, I wouldn’t be wiping my hoop at 58mph mate. The tale recounted is an accurate portrayal of the events that occurred during “pop out and spray”. I can’t help being blessed in the bellend dept either

I gave up hope a while ago tbh. And the cunts are taking my rancid viewing pleasures away too! Im off to raise hell in the name of Tendonitis.

I don’t really have the answer to that, but I know it’s not fucking Nigel Farage. The answer will never be that fucker.

They’ve so obviously nicked this idea from that 3 Legends show that was on one of the now defunct radio stations, but they’ve not quite hit the punchy, two word title the original show had… Three… hmm, what would fit here? Any of you creatives got any ideas?

I would like- “ We’ve tried the others, let’s give the racist/facists a go”????? Nah

Aye- might as well get as much off the ultra rich as possible before the dumb fuckers vote Reform in, and not be known as the one’s that took away free school meals. £0.5 billion saving… wouldn’t Amazon, Costa, and whichever other corporate cunts are dodging paying their whack more than cover that if they paid what they should?

Just wait for some pissed up Septic to drive in to it!

Sounds like a dodgy toy shop on Shields Road.

“ Sofatester” ??????? Is he from Boldon, perchance?

Zlatan’s piled the beef on since he moved to Pennywell, mind.

I’ve had a double shit sandwich on the way down to jolly old London. Stopped at Cambridge services for my break, checked my “social media” and some fucker has locked my access on “safe search” ! Is today some deadline for the most cuntish of Tory policies meaning we’re not allowed to watch ladies in the nip? Cunts. That was followed by a minor pissaster on the M11- usually have the bladder emptying under control for when I’m parked, but, after the shock of no filthy slappers, my body clearly went in to fight or flight… …or piss. No way I was pulling on to the hard shoulder, as it’d take forever to get back on, so out came the bottle. Trouble is, my tackle only fits in the bottle when in a state of rest, the urgency of the piss situation had brought on a piss-boner, so I’ve had to just place the tip of the ole meatus in the neck of the bottle and try to let loose gently. All this , one-handed, the left hand, whilst bombing down the M11 in rush hour. I’m just about drained, and about to give myself a “well done son!”, when I hit a fucking pothole the size of Burradon. Bottle slips, whanger springs up, momentary jet of piss up my t-shirt before my brain gets the “FUCKING NIP IT!” message through to the nipsy muscles… … FOR FUCKS SAKE! Changed my t-shirt and all ship-shape now, but fucking hell man Someone is going to pay for this, and I hope she’s brunette, busty, Eastern European, and not missed for a while…

Have you hacked my selfies? Cheeky bitch!

“ How’s the ba… nnnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhaaaah!… bacon, did y’say?”

A fine example of poor situational awareness. If the big lad on the left’s knees decide to call it a day, he’ll take out the entire clan as he rolls downhill. Like a fleshy, sweaty, opening to Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the added tang of unwiped arse.

How aren’t you single?

Van Halen ( until 1984 the album) were my top band as a nipper. I mean, you’re not telling me this is’nt mint

Try loading the page again. Took 2-3 goes for mine to kick in. If not, it’s a paragraph on Tonali being mint, then 10 paragraphs of his Mam’s carbonara recipe.

If you’re on iPhone it auto translates after about 30 seconds or so.

You’d think a bloke who has stolen a living in the public eye for so long would be slightly inured to criticism, especially such mild criticism. But , no… fucking man-child.