Monkeys Fist

Oh, it will be, give it a day or two until his dad sobers up.

You know when you’d put your shoes on your knees as a kid and pretend to be a dwarf…

On the phone to cock-eyed Mala asking him how many fridge packs of Fosters he wanted shoplifting?

I’m utterly convinced that there’s a secret selection process at the end of training where they put the sexy wenches in to the most embarrassing department’s and the plain Jane’s and boilers get put in the dept’s where you can keep your dignity. “ Oh, Mr. PL, your face looks like a badly topped meat feast pizza, and I see you need a prostate exam too? Follow Nurse Trixie Fox and she’ll utterly destroy any self esteem you once had. “ You need a foot x-Ray? Gunhilde here will be glad to take care of you, just try not to look at her face for too long.”

X-Ray booked tomorrow for yay/nay on a new hip. I’ll be taking along £25 and asking if they can sort me out with a bit of medicinal green, too.

Black mam, White mam in a hijab, Chinese bairn- Gammon bingo house!

By golly !

Come on man Bilbo, it was the Wimbledon museum, not a Jam museum.

Just so you know, I went and I was sorely disappointed. Not a single fucking Womble anywhere on show.

He’ll fucking hate that. Lovely.

On his house, I hope.