PaddockLad

For every Luque theres a centre half with a sore finger....what was the fuckers name again?...

Quite depressing that. And quite similar to Scotland in the 90s. Oh dear, as someone famously said. And if you look at the current squad, theres not a huge amount of talent there in any case. Zaha looked brilliant before Christmas, then gave up after signing for manu, seemingly until the play off semi. Don't know if that makes him a "player for the BIG occasion" or his head gets turned easily.

We're not solving much just by swapping them though. I agree Cabaye seems stifled where he sits in at the moment, but theres every chance we wouldn't make the most of Sissoko's running game if he was told to sit in as well. If he makes a break from 15 yards further back, theres likely to be more players on him than if he receives it on or around the halfway line. I think the answer lies on the training ground, and a maybe one or two (ha!) players with the pace of a Bellamy or Dyer to support him.

8.... think that's trickier than it first looks, theres a few 50/50s I guessed..

your portrait of a teenagers life in central Europe is very touching...

Yeah but am a 40 something beer obssesive...shit, that makes me sound like CT....yeah you're right its dull as shit out there edit: actually, Maastrict is in the Netherlands, home of tulips, skunk and women in windows....whats not to like??

I love Blegium, its a fabulous place iyam. But some young shaver at work told me that made me the world's dullest man when I told him I enjoyed Bruges

Is that in Holland or Belgium?....home of Stella in Belgium, but am sure theres a place with an old University between Den Haag and Amsterdam with the same name...

Luakaku wants to play somewhere next season..... http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/jun/04/jose-mourinho-chelsea-romelu-lukaku

Thats the coolest infant in Western Europe

Good point about HBA being out, he drifted into the right hand channel a lot. But it pisses me off somewhat when people use the "winger" term to beat Pardew over the head with. Its inaccurate to say the least iyam. Same with Shola. We didnt play 442 post Janaury to any great extent, real width was supposed to be provided by Debuchy and Santon, pushing up to support the 3 in behind Cisse.

See I cant see that....maybe I've missed something but I don't see anything defensive about his game. Perfectly willing to be proved wrong but on the evidence of last season I just dont see it. He's principally a runner as a a player, he needs space to move into to exploit his pace, and he's not going to get that as often if he's doing an overwhelmingly defensive job as you're suggesting. I think our lapse into long ball mode often in the second half of games last season made in a marginal figure late on in games. Our other tactic of trying to catch sides on the break is what he was there to do, and it worked to the extent that he almost always got past his immediate marker...as you say its what happened after that is where it went wrong. Not enough support for his runs.

Ok its happened again and I'm frankly puzzled...someone has said in the transfer thread that Pardew picked Sissoko mostly on the wing last season. And its also said quite a lot that he she play further back, in beside another central midfielder. I don't think theres a lot of evidence for the former and I take it that the latter comes from his time at Toulouse?...for me, he looks like a classic inside forward, which is what young uns would call an attacking midfielder these days and I think that's where Pardew picked him for most of the games last season. Can someone please explain why its thought he was picked on the wing?...heres something to have a look at, you might want to turn the sound down though

Even those who have made 4 payments on it already?....I'm renewing it because of that, and also because I'm a Newcastle United supporter, for good or bad. I suppose there a quite a few reasons for renewing...those that just want to watch live top divison football, some may just do it out of habit, some willing to give Ashley/Pardew another chance after the good season when we finished 5th, those who can't help themselves, some who think it's actually good value price wise, if not quality wise. Ashley has surprised us before with his signings, and there was a theory not too long ago we did business very well; good players, bought relatively cheaply, without long drawn out "auctions" etc. Theres no reason to expect that we're not doing that sort thing this summer. Thing is, Pardew has got to do better from the start, or he's toast. After the last 3 home games of last season he needs a very solid beginning to the season...if the fixture list is unkind, that could be it for him and we could be looking for a new manager in the Autumn..

because its a free country? I dunno, are all comics control freaks or something?...

there you go again You're right, I dont understand a lot of things about it. I dont understand why you simultanelously hold the rights to full attention, good standards of behaviour and respect from the audience then piss your pants when you dont get it or someone claims that one of your gags is offensive,and where the only defence you feel justified in giving id "its only a joke, dont get too upset". You're right. I dont understand that.

Why do you think I googled it?... its from his first book...reasons to be cheerful... As for the rest, it does seem utterly pointless paying money and then not listening. But if s/he is good theres more chance of holding an audience's attention. If you get a lot of people talking among themselves at a gig, theres a problem. If its only a couple, for fucks sakes, man up. Ignore them, its their loss, dont get a thug to hoy them out.

did you issue them with your list beforehand?

Fish/KCG, in one of Mark Steele's books he describes performing "in front of 200 pissed Millwall fans at the Tunnel Club". He wasnt on 2k a weekend in the mid 80s either. Whats changed? at that level I'm talking, large-ish club gigs... what would the main differences be between then and now?...are aggresive audiences still out there, outside of the hen/stag circuit?...are there comics willing play to them for buttons as Steele wiouldve got, just to pay the rent? what would the security have been like for that gig?...and how do you impress 200 Millwall fans by being a member of the Socialist Workers Party ffs ?...and you're telling me that your evening turns all "frightful daahling" because theres a few daft comments from a drunk trying to be smart?!

How can you expect to control it though?...apart from getting intimidating goons to do it for you...

I haven't said I dont like it either, I like and admire anyone who shows talent. Making a list of "do's" and "don'ts" is sort of going a long way towards saying I might have a point though, isnt it?... just get over yourselves a bit

This is where it all falls down...being over precious about your "craft", and then not being able to take stick yourselves, or getting a nark on when someone pulls you up for being offensive. You lot in comedy make these rules yourself and think you're protected by them, just because you say its that way? You all live in the real world normally, you can see that things work differently outside of your ivory towers, can't you?... I dont heckle or catcall, or get that offended by anything really. But I dont really complain when others do it either. Dont see why those in the "trade" should either. I can see how a lot of work can be ruined by drunks, but you're working in an alcohol saturated enviroment which you have no real control over, unless you are very good. Putting your head above the parapet to be shot at and then coming over all a bit harry handbag when the going gets tough is fuckin laughable man.

BIG changes at the stadio del shiteio... http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/31/paolo-di-canio-sunderland-overhaul

Thats the one, makes sense. The bloke who died on his arse had just come out the closet, poor fucker

I hope the acts I saw in Hyena that night weren't on a couple of grand each; if they were they just prove my point that theres far too much cash swimming around in stand up and people are being paid for being mediocre at best I see what you're saying and on a basic level it makes sense. But I saw a bill in Soho a few years back where the compare was Rufus Hound, Milton Jones, some other gadge off the box who's name escape's me and some other bloke plainly with huge personal issues and using his spot as some sort of public therapy session. 3 of them were funny, and 3 of them were pretty soon on tv. The last guy wasn't and got a bit of good natured stick from those still listening after 5 minutes. He pretty much died. don't tell me he was getting top dollar too, or that we had to show him some respect for just "giving it a go"?