PaddockLad

Ive been modelling my moves on that video for a quarter of a century now

And what do you think the Yanks will get in return from us after begging them to save out arses again? My money's on full unfettered access for the giant US private health companies to the dear old NHS.

Aye we mostly try to steer clear of that crowd. London games are good for us, we can get home in two hours so it allows us a couple of hours extra to have a gargle. The pub by the station after the game was full of mags necking pints double quick then rushing off to get the connection to kings cross. There was one fairly excitable young lad in there who was ingratiating himself with the locals by bellowing "NAME A BETTER ENGLISH CENTRE BACK THAN LASCELLES!" and "NAME A BETTER PASSER OF THE BALL THAN SHELVEY!!" at three fairly non plussed Watford fans having a quiet post match pint

Good day yesterday spoilt by a fuckin wretched first half display. It's my contention that Watfords first goal is one of the worst I've seen us concede. Ever. Watford itself has all the soul and character of galvanised dustbin. The pub near the station wasn't open at 1130, so we set out on an expedition to find other sources of refreshment nearby. The One Bell had a hoarding around it preventing access, so it was onwards to the assault course of the pedestrianisation works being carried out further up the high street which, once deftly completed, allowed entry into the heady delights of the local Wetherspoons. Gigantic bar with 4 witless teenagers serving hoardes of droothy football supporters. Big town Watford, close to London, fair to say a long tradition of football supporters visiting it; THERE IS NOW ONLY ONE PUB ON ITS ENTIRE HIGH STREET AND ITS A FUCKIN WETHERSPOONS STAFFED BY CHILDREN WHO COULDNT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHO WAS NEXT IN THE QUEUE, THE EDUCATIONALLY CHALLENGED FUCKNUTS So we left, still parched, walked round the strangely still-under-construction-after-what-seems-like-two-decades shopping centre, took a left turn into a road of Georgian two up/two downs to reaveal a hidden oasis of 3 friendly neighbourhood wateringholes on one street. Smashing. London was crawling with rugby buffer types, who were mostly monumentally pissed service men & women in town for the annual Army/Navy game. Which is not really about the game, more of a reunion for old comrades. On alighting the train at Clapham we somehow got into a sort of singing contest with some gruff looking Gulf War (1) veterans. Rest assured readers, WE FUCKIN ANNHILATED THEM and proceeded to chat up the reasonably comely looking Army lasses the Vets were formerly talking to, the ladies more than impressed with our vocal performance and ability to put a cohererant sentence together after a day of looking for pubs in suburban Hertfordshire. Included in their number was a native of the fine Tyneside hamlet of tranquility and rural charm that is Kenton. So I was shooting the breeze with her for a bit, I asked her about her career in the forces, what unit she was in etc and was informed that she worked in the intelligence unit of the Royal Engineers. Suitably impressed I asked her, a fairly small dainty looking lass maybe around late 20s, blonde & fresh faced and looking a million miles from the sort of Gate inhabiting party girls she may have grew up with, if she had a stripe or two on her arm as part of her job..."No I have a full commission and I'm a Lieutenant, soon to be a captain, ye cheeky bastaad" was her somewhat unexpected reply So. that was me well and truly told. Wembley on Wednesday for round two of the end of season tour

Mr Turpie, head teacher of English. If you can imagine someone physically akin to Barry Humphries grotesque character Sir Les Patterson but with a classical education from Edinburgh Uni in the 50s, an author of furious letters to the local paper and a keen interest in schoolgirls. He lived with a very recent ex pupil with whom he had a child His colleague in the music department Mr Melrose; called the my sisters friend, the only black girl in a small market town high school in rural south east Scotland, a "fuckin junglebunny". He was eventually sacked for a catalogue of misdemeanours including physical assault. I drunkenly fell into a cab one night in the early nineties on a trip home and this fucker was driving it. "Ah you're Rob Paterson, how's your sister?" Didn't think too much about it until he committed suicide a little while later, after being convicted of sexually abusing his daughters from a young age. Happy days.

Fuckin love this

It takes a special kind of person to utterly eviscerate someone before 6am

The knockout stages of this seasons champions league have seen the art of defending seemingly abolished. Great to watch in a way but fuck me Liverpool we’re as bad tonight as Roma were in the first leg.

Lovren Milner

Post of the decade ^

In the mid to late 90s I worked at the Ford Transit van factory in Southampton with a lad who played for Eastleigh. He said they were a bunch of county standard hackers but there was some new money wank stain wth big ambitions in the background. Can only assume it's this chancer. He got Eastleigh from the very bottom rung of semi pro football into the fully pro division 5 of the English football league. Would like to hear who his backers are before I could comment on whether he can do anything with the tramps..but it's fair to say it would appear they're no longer a rudderless pile of utter fuckin shit. Shame.

Can only think there's more shit on this in tomorrow's papers that finger both Rudd & May, so Rudd had to go... All this just to rescue the Tory vote from UKIP. I hope the millions of half decent ex & current tory voters who lapped up Farage's virtually naked facism and the subsequent utter fuckin ludicrousness of May's "hostile environment" realise what they were actually permitting in their name. Won't hold my breath on that mind...

Did members of JCs family fly to Moscow to meet with Russian officials then?

That'll you then, Comrade

Fuck me it's a good job you weren't there v Pompey in 92 ya daft owld fucka

Darren Moore putting Pardew to shame here. At least these fuckers look like they want to stay up now.

Aye I thought he should've been tighter. Looks like he was being drawn out of position. Good ball & finish tbf.

Khan owns Jacksonville Jaguars. They've played in London more than any other NFL franchise...

Is Rudd admitting to not knowing about her own departments removal targets for illegal immigrants? That's resign or be sacked stuff but id be surprised to say the least if that happens...

If it was the one in Newcastle the whole place stinks of damp. Or it did do. Not been in for ages. Mostly because of the smell...

The old crows feet sprang immediately to my mind too

Yeah it was late what can I say? I read it when it was published and thought he'd said something along those lines...might have been David Aaronovitch instead or someone like that?...

Must be wonderful to know how people you've never met before and have barely engaged with feel. And to speak on behalf of them too. A gift. Some would say.

Apologies to David. May have been someone else... Good article all the same...