PaddockLad

Saw Ben Elton last week. Anyone who remembers his 5 mins spots of manic ranting on Saturday Night Live will be interested to hear that he performed in precisely the same frantic, furiously fast style from the very start right up to the interval. An hour and twenty minutes. He was 60 this year He was also right about just about everything. Except for his major issues with craft beer. In his final monologue he invoked the image of Galileo being made to recant his scientific findings in front of the Papal Inquisition. That made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and earned him a spontaneous standing ovation. Not bad for an old ranting leftie.

Did I mention I find her strikingly beautiful and I have a strange longing to utter the words “yes mistress” to her?...

Any player blocking Matty’s rise to world domination can frankly fuck off. Thats precisely what will happen... Xhaka in would mean a loan spell for Longstaff Jr...

Naga is the most passive aggressive person in Western Europe. She’s like a human cactus

Plainly trying to get out of paying for one or more of them. Yes, let's have someone of that character running the country. If he lived on a council estate he'd be annihilated for that if for some reason he came to the attention of the tabloid press.

He should be nicked just for that fuckin video

He’s literally incapable of giving a shit. He doesn’t know how to. A lifetime spent pleasing his fucking self and no other fucker.

Great post @thebrokendoll

Is it fuck. There's a lot to criticise in urban Scotland but doing it from Northern Ireland displays an almost supernatural lack of self awareness

This one is also a Scientologist

Deus ex machina

There was a tweet about this that I can’t find now... ”this is like the Simpsons episode when they let Homer design a car”

There isn’t a conceivable scenario where the UK would launch a unilateral nuclear strike against any other foreign power

🍟

Peerage in the post? Brexiteers point blank inability to as much as even acknowledge the corrupt anti democratic privileged unelected retirement home at Westminster has always struck me profoundly hypocritical...

Cheap sniff for the away buses Stewarding could be a bit "heavy handed" though

Ah yes, Jose Underlay, carpet fitter of distinction from Guadalajara

arriba arriba

I’m pleased we’re not getting twatted every week, Bruce has been big enough to basically admit he got things wrong at the start of the season. So that’s ok. The freakish scoring run of our very decent group of defenders won’t last though. Then we’ll have to rely on the attacking players finishing off the chances they’re creating....it’ll be a long winter if they can’t start finding the net regularly..

10/10 Map & Geography nerd 🤓 ( A for O level)

Corbyn is open to being accused of being an anti Semite and he hasn't got a leg to stand on to defend himself. Whether he is or not is in a way irrelevant, his inaction in dealing with it has condemned him. That's just one reason why he's fuckin useless. The anti semites showed up in the Labour party when he became leader and he refused to deal with them because they're his friends. As the old saying goes "you can judge a man by the company he keeps..." I'm not an expert on these things but it's difficult for me to imagine him actually being AS but I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking he is..