OTF

Straight back under the pump, clearly a rousing half time locker room address from Steve.

If Dubravka wasn't fatigued he'd have saved that.

Average recent former Newcastle forwards I'd rather have out there than Joelinton: Aleksander Mitrovic Peter Lovenkrands Shola Ameobi Yoan Gouffran Daryl Murphy (or or off the gear) Leon Best Alan Smith Fabrice Pancrate Marlon Harewood Luuk de Jong Nile Ranger (with or without cuffs)

Brain snap Almiron after turning it over cheaply.

Good tackle/foot in from Schar.

Did you see the half shoulder shrug/arms out from Lascelles as his brain tried to generate an excuse for his absolute lack of marking for Benteke's open header from three yards?

Bentaleb is having an absolute stinker.

It honestly is, it's as though we've got 10 competition winners who've never met each other out there with Dubravka.

Might be worth Steve working an actual ball or two into our training regime so that we don't appear to be total strangers to having one at our feet during games.

23 premier league games since his last goal. All of them starts? It's gone beyond mystifying and is now humorous. It has entered the realms of makingJoselu's lengthy selection run seem like a strategic masterclass (sorry Rafa).

Would anyone dare to suggest that things are working with the current formation/line-up/tactics? The answer is yes. Well done commentary team. "The managers are both punching above their weight and getting their tactics spot on."

With our momentum not sure where points will come. So far they've come from unexpected games/scenarios but really, what's the point when we consistently play such poor football?

Terrible, noone following runs into the box.

His post or yours?

Dogma would be my favourite, but Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy are all vastly superior to anything he has worked on in recent times. Clerks 2 was ok as well, and I quite enjoyed Zac and Miri. I'm pretty sure when that came out and pretty much bombed in theatres it ruined him. He became a heavy weed user thereafter and the quality of his movies dropped off.

You cheeky bugger, no luck involved in our season whatsoever...

You cheeky bugger, no luck involved in our season whatsoever...

Press: "Steve, what do you say to critics who suggest you showed a real lack of tactics today? Steve: "Tactics... ya need more than one now?"

Ahhhhhh, the magic of being shit.

Tidy finish. Great ball for him.

I watched the whole way through. I didn't hate it (through sheer force of will). I wish he tried to make a proper movie though (and one without his daughter) but that ship has seemingly sailed and we're left with self flagellating shadows of attempts at in-jokes and 'actors' phoning it in.

Yeah, reset your expectations you ungrateful pricks. Keep giving money to the club who have set a target on promotion at the cost of playing anything resembling football. Why care if we're atrocious to watch you absolute bastards, look at all of those glorious points! CELEBRATE a job well done. We are after all, a company and not a football club.

Hope it doesn't catch on, it'll destroy the game. They've blown loads of chances so far, we're lucky to still be in it. Ginola's looking good.

Can you imagine the absolute bollocking Ritchie would have given a teammate for that free kick?

Longstaff and Hayden were by far our best midfield pairing last season, obviously injuries have played a part, but they've barely had any time together this season.