OTF

For me that's a tough straight red. It's incredible that we're even and a man up.

What's better, a penalty? A second yellow and they play with a man down? Or I turn it off and enjoy the rest of my weekend?

Passing accuracy in opposing half is 58% for us compared with 76% for them. So their percentage in our half is more or less the same as our total pass accuracy. How many ways can statistics prove how utterly shite we are?

33.6% possesion against high flying Fulham. We've made 169 (with 76% accuracy) passes to their 342 (88%).

Honestly looked like thatbwas the first time some of our players have defended a corner. I mean honestly if Ritchie or Shelvey were standing on the post instead of in no mans land together (because who needs to mark anyone anyway) there would have been no way for that to happen. Fuck we're shit.

Ritchie with the nice little elbow to the back of Mitro. Remember me lad?

Mike Ashley sure is happy if you're content with Steve Bruce's tragically bad to watch performances regardless of the results. You call tell us as much as you like that it's caviar being served up but we all know it's a shit sandwich and not just because your patter fucking stinks. The amount of enjoyment brought about from Bruce-ball is commensurate to the value you've brought to the forum - something to talk about but it's not fun.

What a fucking surprise that is, never would have seen that coming.

He talks utter fucking shite, so that's a perfect succinct summary of his effectiveness as a pundit.

I've reported the lot of you as well as all our players for good measure.

At least I don't feel bad about the stonewaller we didn't get. That's the kind of thinking that's required to be a Newcastle United supporter.

Reported.

Look forward to hearing Bruce's post match analysis.

Such heart shown by our player chasing back there is something that I would have liked to be able to say with sincerity.

It's not like he's never done that before either. Dallying with the ball in our own box

Absolutely no marking there. Almiron owes us a goal.

Clark is one of the best goal scoring defenders we've had in recent times.

As we go behind Emil Krafth comes on.

My mistake, thought we were Liverpool for a moment.

Penalty

Hayden is 95%+ a very good player and reader of the game, the rest of the time he attempts some very stupid stuff.

It's a head scratcher, one for Brucey to analyse. With the aid of his modern, dynamic and innovative holistic approach I have every confidence he'll get to the bottom of it and address it for future matches.

Completely out of the blue that. Some classic ball watching there.