OTF

Don't think that was a yellow for Shelvey. Glad that I'm 100% confident that he can adjust his game to play on the yellow.

Fucking something. Was that Pardew's back post tactic finally paying off? Somewhere Williamson's ears are burning.

Can see him standing 20 yards back hurling screwdrivers at the main board.

And if he received the ball with even one passing option open to him. There's currently literally nothing we are doing as a team well, no pressing when they have the ball, no movement when we get it. What are they conserving energy for?

Newcastle United Defensive Tactics: 1. Jog nearish to an opposing player

It's quite astounding really, must come down to mentality. They're so conditioned to being passive holding their shape that when we get the ball we don't have appropriate movement or composure to hold possession and build any momentum.

Do you reckon Jones gives the players the bollocking they deserve after a half like that?

Imagine Schar and Fernandez watching this having been told they're not good enough to make the team. They're not world beaters but this lot would concede goals to Manchester United '58.

Fyp

We are so shit with the ball it's frankly embarrassing, in training 11 v 11 both 11s must struggle to get 20% possession.

This teams wins in training all the time - they'll be training down the champions league house next season.

Lazy and stupid from Clark. Also annoying that their player simulated further contact by going down so late, ugly part of the game, I'd say there's a case for a card or at least a warning for them.

Well done Clark

Last year given, this year anyone's guess.

I like Jones and think he's had a positive impact on the team, but I feel like he's not good on the big picture versus the smaller details. In other words as a specialised trainer he will be good to have around but is a way off having the arsenal to manage a side. So I hope he stays on and works well with Howe and his team. Listening to Howe speak he sounds intelligent, reasoned and articulate three components sorely lacking in our former manager. Jones was brought in to help the deficiencies in Bruce's capabilities but now the shoe will be on the other foot and Howe will have the same effect on Jones.

Blaydon Races? Ought to further endear himself to the supporters.

The Oil Tanker. You guys ought to get more involved in the match threads, full of foreigners, old folk and acronyms - they're a joy to behold.

Nice of Brighton and Potter to let him take charge, assume he'll name goalies in the outfield and Trossard in goals.

Mate, if he realised he could just eat on the shitter and save the walking all of them would have been spent there comfort eating whilst sobbing going through comments on twitter.

14 in the canteen and the other on the shitter

Absolutely at some point you have to stand back and admit that he's doing a much better job of ridiculing himself than anyone else could ever do.

Get the helicopter ready and prepare the lines! Double denim for this one?

A bit rude to leave his other son Emile out.

When they heard they didn't have to come in for training in the morning they must have feared that the fat waste of space, tactically inept cabbage head was back in town.

Interesting. #NoSuchThingAsTheFish