OTF

Getting 30+ goals in the Carabao Cup would be some achievement. Settle those expectations.

Even more of a prick off the pitch than on it, which is quite the achievement.

He's also a little diving prick. We don't currently have anyone who is particularly good at doing that effectively. Sorry Maxi, I know you try.

Also, how convenient that after we ended our interest due to being stuffed about by his agent that he comes out publically declaring he wants to stay at the club. Trying to make it look like he turned us down. Good luck with that given the club was only too willing to sell you.

I'd have had any of those three here. I'd find it difficult to put a conclusive order of preference to them.

Dan Ashworth outsourcing the player aquisitions to playing staff #Delegation #Business

It's not that I don’t doubt your prowess or anything like that, but I'd love to see a video of you putting it up in 10-15 minutes. OK it is entirely me doubting your prowess. I'd also like to know how long it will take you to put it down, pack it up, and put it in the shed for its early retirement.

Clearing the rights with DC for his intro video.

A great signing for Nooncastle United

Is that the third shirt or the away?

I don’t have anything against him, but by the time the world cup rolls around he'll be 32. I don't really think he'd be a great fit into our side also, and would expect he's on big wages and will be wanting to keep it that way. Could be good for helping Botman to settle having another Dutchman about.

Too old. Though it would be nice to have a player who used Newcastle as a stepping stone to play for Newcastle.

New MLS experience? More like new golf courses and different coloured money.

Is it possible that he loves the slide tackle more than Paul Dummett?!?

+30M to the Raphinha fund.

This one?

I concur and have signed off on the deal, expect him in the next few days.

Defense will hate us if we have Raphinha, ASM, Bruno coming at them with Joelinton enforcing. You've got to pay for the quality attacking spark that someone like Raphinha brings. He'd be a fantastic signing but personally can't see it. Can you imagine if we got him and Paqueta, four Brazilians aged 24-25.

It's a bit of a defeatist attitude but they're spending a lot of money to do what? Try to be an upper middle table club?

We got Burn instead of Carlos, slotted straight in and is all heart. Know who I'd rather have and there would have been no interest in Carlos from us this window. Won't be surprised if he's not a success at Villa.

He must fit right in then.

I don't remember this at all as I was tiny, but that's a great looking logo.

Oh, hai west ham

England, Iran, USA, Wales. Inside, outside, inside, scales.

Whilst you're right there's also the chance that he just fancies playing in the slower paced less physical Italian league against inferior opposition. If that's his temperament we don't want him anyway.