Howay

The " the only way we're getting into Europe is by ferry" comment was quality

Isn't that Fifty club where Ashley just won £1.3M on roulette?

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ____________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Rubbish, Shepherd would have persuaded the lad that Newcastle was just past Walthamstow on the Victoria line. While belching ambrosia fumes into his face. If Keegan can convince Rob Lee that Newcastle is closer to London than Middlesboro then I'm sure he could pretend to a Croat we are in London

Just got home I wanted Chelsea to win the champs league over Man utd but after seeing their glory hunting non-entity chant stealing fans I cannot stomach it, shit fans total soulless club. Saw a nonce in a Chelsea top on the walk back to the car blatantly not from London calling him a wanker made me feel a little better about myself he sums up their support. Btw did anyone else see perhaps the most pathetic banner I've ever seen? was something like "dave loves sandra + Chelsea" fucking hell. Steve Bennet is a terrible referee as well some of his decisions were pathetic, not booking Terry when he told Carvalho to fall back down to waste time when he was walking off was a discrace.

They do seem to be doing lots of them, that new Will Smith one called Hancock looks like it could be good mind.

Looks like Malouda.

Just saw Ironman I really enjoyed it tbh there has to be a sequel.

You're hilarious....................................................................... ........................................... You know Nicky Butt has applauded Keegans Tactical management and said he's right up there with Fergusson but it's ok you just keep living in your pathetic glory hunting world where Keegan is a useless manager (despite finishing 2nd twice). Oh Nicky Butt said it!..................oh then it must be true. He's played under both........................................he's much more qualified to talk about it than you Keegan`s own admittance of his tactical ineptitude was enough for me. A Nicky Butt lick-up doesn`t change the fact that he`s won fuck all. How long ago was this Keegan quote you keep dragging up, and also for the amount of time you spend on this board I'd have thought you'd have noticed Keegan often is sarcastic to the press he probably said it because he's sick of hearing them calling him it. He quite evidently isn't tactically inept and if you honestly believe that you should stop watching proper football and switch to your home countries soft copy of Rugby. He wasn`t being sarcastic when he had to resigned the England post. I spend fuck all time on here anymore......................far too bitter and narrow-minded. Too be honest you come on and rip on everything about our club you can hardly expect people to be complimentary towards you surely.

I'd rather have him than Carra and Hyppia. You`re very welcome to him. He couldn`t lace their boots. He's far better than Hyppia at least now tbh

You're hilarious....................................................................... ........................................... You know Nicky Butt has applauded Keegans Tactical management and said he's right up there with Fergusson but it's ok you just keep living in your pathetic glory hunting world where Keegan is a useless manager (despite finishing 2nd twice). Oh Nicky Butt said it!..................oh then it must be true. He's played under both........................................he's much more qualified to talk about it than you Keegan`s own admittance of his tactical ineptitude was enough for me. A Nicky Butt lick-up doesn`t change the fact that he`s won fuck all. How long ago was this Keegan quote you keep dragging up, and also for the amount of time you spend on this board I'd have thought you'd have noticed Keegan often is sarcastic to the press he probably said it because he's sick of hearing them calling him it. He quite evidently isn't tactically inept and if you honestly believe that you should stop watching proper football and switch to your home countries soft copy of Rugby.

You're hilarious....................................................................... ........................................... You know Nicky Butt has applauded Keegans Tactical management and said he's right up there with Fergusson but it's ok you just keep living in your pathetic glory hunting world where Keegan is a useless manager (despite finishing 2nd twice). Oh Nicky Butt said it!..................oh then it must be true. He's played under both........................................he's much more qualified to talk about it than you

You're hilarious....................................................................... ........................................... You know Nicky Butt has applauded Keegans Tactical management and said he's right up there with Fergusson but it's ok you just keep living in your pathetic glory hunting world where Keegan is a useless manager (despite finishing 2nd twice).

Saw Jones with Carlos Edwards in the Metro Centre. Pricks felt like twatting the twats. Would have dirtyed me knuckles bu.

But where'd they get the idea that the big announcement would ever be Zidane becoming their manager, random or what.

I'd be gutted if I was a QPR fan and Zidane as manager was the big announcement.

Agreed it was especially shocking last season vs pompey where he stood with his hands on his hips on the half way line for 45 minutes. I'm getting to the stage where I want us to get rid of him he isn't good enough to warrant keeping him with his little hissy fits, we could buy a better player with a better attitude, although I think his Spurs move isn't looking great after they got Modric.

It's almost unanimous! We should stalk him and give him a little print out saying ''Toontastic Player of the year 2008'', im almost certain it wouldn't scare him He'd probably love it he seems canny mental like, could get him some rice pudding too he loves the stuff apparently.

Carroll is nowhere near ready he couldnt even get many goals in the championship, so I personally don't want him in the first team at all next season. I'm skeptical to if he'll make it. I reckon we need another Viduka-esque striker and that can be our 4.

Kenwyne Jones is nowhere near being good enough to play for any of the top four, I wouldn't even have him here.

I've heard it's basically been set-up for DLH to win so he can work towards a re-match against Mayweather.

I voted for Beye as well.

Quality film especially the bar scene.

I'd rather have teams like Leeds and Forest with a big history back in the Prem than the likes of Wigan and Reading. Agreed tbh, as much as I dislike them, having total non-entities like Wigan in the league is crap hardly anyone turns up for them as much as they've earned the right to be here I want rid .

They tipped Man city to be relegated before the season started ffs .