Howay

When did we sign Ronaldo? Now he'll miss-control a soft pass out of play.

Never doubted the lad

I think it's fair to say everyone (myself included) got their Southampton predictions massively wrong. It's also reassuring to know that as shite as we are the Mackems still can't enjoy it and laugh at us!

Would have been taff to expect him to play against Leicester at home so he'd have been benched for Obertan anyway. Need that tracking back from a winger, it's their most important attribute.

Reminds me of the Harry Enfield football expert "He doesn't want to do that, he wants to score the goal"

Quality finish by Cisse there

Aye, and the commentator on what I'm watching was babbling on about what a brilliant coach Pardew is with some really fantastic ideas. I'm assuming those ideas aren't related to football tactics because there has been zero evidence of that at any point in his career.

Fucking hell colo

Well if nowt else it's given us all an extra hour where we can enjoy the weekend before we have to suffer what I'm sure will be an utterly dreary game.

You know the lad's a total bore when you can't be sure if he has actually said that stuff or if it's made up. "I thought ‘that’s a bit of a nice jingle‘ so I picked up the album in Woolies. It was only seven quid. I played it in the kitchen while doing some ironing." That bit man, I could genuinely see him coming out with something like that.

Bloody hell, the lad has no charisma whatsoever. It's actually a joke how fucking boring that man is.

He does things like keep Alan Pardew employed and wonders why we don't like him.

He claims he 'spotted' Cabaye would be class after his first friendly for us doesn't he? despite the fact Cabaye was instrumental in a quality Lille title winning side and everyone thought he'd be class.

I'm a generous guy. He'll be a squad player for an upper League one / relegation threatened championship side one day.

Championship player at best tbh.

Imagine spending a weekend with him, stuck in a caravan somewhere..... That bit just completely sums him up for me, this is a 14-16 year old lad on his way to being a football player on a trial and he wants everyone to just sit in their rooms and stare at the walls rather than do anything else. Scarily boring human being, the life of a Premiership player man and he would just prefer to sit in the house and watch football highlights. Playing alongside party animals like Fowler in all, they must have thought he was a right wank. Makes sense that him and fellow bore Shearer are such good mates though. "Fancy coming round and watching come dine with me Alan?" "Nah Michael I've got to re-grout my bathroom tiles" "Sounds a right laugh can I come along and watch? I'll bring the fruit juice for the sugar rush" "belta"

Why say things like "Great manager"? It's clearly not true, there is nothing in Pardews entire career to say he is a great football manager. Stick up for the bloke if you feel you have to but it doesn't help your case when you start off with shite craic like that.

Fantastic, so a nice spell with The Dilsh in goal. We conceded enough goals before...

Who can hate films ffs, what a monumental bellend that little winnet is.

There's no other possible explanation for players not performing at a certain club other than the fact they are shit Must be easy being that much of a mackem obsessed fucking moron.

Aye its brilliant

See Essseeeemmmmbeeeeeeeeee even the French pick him off one game!!! fucking mackem french cunts

Aye true enough.