Howay

Here's ol' one lung on to save the day.

Abied, Anita and Sammy look happy, they must be talking about Fifa or something. How has a club that hates spending money spent 14m combined on Anita and Riviere

3-0 to fucking Leicester, surely they have to make a change man? how on Earth can this bloke remain in charge, his position at the club is surely untenable. He must have no respect at all remaining.

Riviere not only a nightmare up front, he's also crushing dreams at the back.

I'd say Ashley must be shitting it and that idea would give me some sort of joy in this disgrace of a season but the mental part is he could actually just sack this prick and bring in someone for a few games like Sunderland did. It's unfathomable that he's still in charge, he must think there's no way those below us will catch up.

They may as well split his wage between two or so of the mag writers or something, even on top of their normal jobs they could find the time to write better, more insightful articles than the former footsoldier.

Aye, I'm not sure there's ever been worse in the clubs history tbh he can't even manage to get them playing any sort of football and constantly picks poor players, then spends the game calling them worse than shite to further demotivate them. I think he at least equals the worst tbh as I can't see how anyone can be any worse than him.

Just saw the two goals, we've somehow got worse at set pieces under Carver than we were under Pardew. Have we won a header defending a set piece under Carver? I don't know the stat but from what I've seen in the games I've watched we almost seem to give away more free headers when defending set pieces than clearing them.

The co-commentator is absolutely shocking, he was just gassing on about how Newcastle should be giving Armstrong a shot because he's a lerrcal lad in fine form, has he seen the results of the U-21's? and has he ever seen Armstrong play in the first team? It's like when a bunch of middle aged blokes have a kick around and one of them lets their son play, ball up to the knee and all sorts. What is the most incredible thing of all is that Carver honestly believes he stands any chance whatsoever of getting the job full time despite standing there being tactically torn apart by Nigel Pearson . The fact he is still in temporary charge is amazing, this could have all been fixed 5 games ago when it was clear after 10 games he was hopeless . They've closed a 17 point gap to just one point ffs.

Pretty sure I just saw Carver say "Howay, what yous fucking doing!" incredible bit of coaching. Great to see Ryan Taylor become an ever present in our defence despite the fact he's a fucking woeful defender. 2nd worst defence in the Premier league now, getting rid of Yanga Mbiwa and Santon definately worked . This team is incredibly shit, 2-0 down to Leicester ffs. Fully deserve relegation now.

This alone shows he simply isn't cut out to be a football manager, even if you didn't know the disastrous results he has had. You can't just keep coming out saying the players aren't good enough or don't have the heart, or question their fucking genetic make up and expect them to play well for you! He's absolutely fucking useless and I look forward to a time when he isn't connected with the club. It's also canny funny to hear them say Wendy is the most stuck up person they've met.

a squad that- in my opinion - I dont deem fit for purpose in the Premier League That's fucking brilliant, simply saying "a squad that I don't deem fit for purpose" would be enough, the "in my opinion" is completely redundant. Does he proofread? I stopped reading after that as I'm sure that's not the worst of it.

Not really, it's not exactly all that different for fans is it? We'd still watch football games most weeks and we've basically got a team of championship/lower prem players anyway so it's not like the playing staff would differ. Ashley doesn't really bother investing the tv money into the team anyway either, so all in all very little changes for us apart from we go from a team trudging to place 12th-16th in the prem to aiming for promotion. In short nah it's dull anyway.

He's fucking incredible, he probably thought he was being all cultured when he wrote that seeing that he spelt Klopp right. Did he bring up that he saw Dortmund play? I didn't bother reading much of the article as I dont want a headache but I'd be shocked if he could resist bragging.

Aye, I was one of them tbh. I think we'll be ok either way as I really don't see Sunderland picking up 6 points.

Not really a shock mind is it Troop? the bloke is fucking clueless about football and that's the field he has worked in his entire life, I don't expect him to know anything about medical procedures or medicine in general more extreme than giving a kid calpol for headaches.

Too busy smoking pot in his garage man.

I reckon McClaren is plan A through Z, if Derby get promoted Ashley and co will spend all summer unsuccessfully courting him before eventually utterly panicking 2 weeks before the season starts. We best hope Derby don't come up and McClaren decides to come.

Fantastic, so that's no more points out of the remaining games then.

Pelle will batter the mackems, they're total fucking shite man and Southampton will be up for it.

The mackems are going to end up with less points than us, so we'll be fine.

Aye why waste your time meeting that bunch of absolute losers. I'd get it if you were a little kid but a grown fucking bloke man? Need to get a grip.

Whatever happens with the end of the season I've little doubt that Ashley will do the absolute bare minimum in the summer to keep us up/get us promoted. It'll be another fantastic season where the team try and play football. I'd love for us to get McClaren tbh as he's a proper coach which will mean we have an actual coach for the first time in years, he can get teams playing canny football as seen with his Boro, Twente and Derby sides (didn't see his Wolfsburg team and International footy is different). To troopers doubt of why he would take a job like this after building his reputation up a bit, I still think he has a way to go in this country as a lot of people will stuff huff and moan if Newcastle appoint him due to his poor England performance. You also only have to look at Pardew to see what a reputation changer a few seasons in the Prem can be, he went from the football graveyard and a sacking from a League one team to being seen as a Premier League level manager again. A few seasons keeping us in the Prem, maybe one good run to nick a European spot (probably wouldn't even need this) and McClaren will be in high demand and linked to a good amount of Premier League jobs again.

“So me and @Thomas91C will be going along on Friday, which we are thankful for getting the chance to speak to staff and players and get the point across that me and @Thomas91C and all you are making, and hopefully find out what Carver is trying to do." I just keep imagining Carver leading them around acting cocky as owt, taking them into his office and as soon as the door closes his shoulders slump forward "Well? Any ideas lads? ahhve brought yuz here to givviz some tips". The best part about this is he is being forced to do this, he would never come out with an idea like this and was probably still shadow boxing when they suggested it yelling about how he'll take them all on. This fucking club man.