Howay

"I'm just a young boy" says a fucking 24 year old 6 or so years into his professional career. He has had more chances than most get and has fucked it all up spectacularly, now he has to try and get a job with his surname tattooed across his head . Genuinely hope clubs have learnt not to bother with him as I don't want to see him get another chance. I'm sure MF will echo my hopes to see him fail to get another chance.

I think he's saying we need to copy Pardew's normal tactics against the 'big' teams which, Chelsea aside, tended to be sit in your box and receive a right fucking hammering. That's what teams like us need to accept, thanks Gary, in fact it's a disgrace teams even come out against the top sides everyone should just stay at home and give them 3 points. He's talking absolute shite, we played well but were undone by two good pieces of play by quality players. Pieces of play they would have had more chances to make if we had just sat back like Neville suggests. Alex is right mind he's getting precious about his mate so is lashing out at the fans because it's a soft target and one that can't really answer back.

Aye they're both stunning, their haircuts refuse to be categorized. Is Cowells a centre parting? is it a flat top? impossible to define, normally horrific hair cuts are easy, Krul's bowl cut being the go to example. Lawro's is incredible though.

Did Des Hamilton do something good last week?

Aye it was good to see, I was nervous when I saw his name as I knew it meant both Pedro and Hazard would be switching wings and targeting the lad. There was a piece of play where Hazard tried to beat him on his inside but Mbabu stopped him, so Hazard turned around and ran back towards his goal a bit turned and then began running inside towards our goal, I'd said to my mate after he began running back Mbabu had lost him but the lad stuck with him and made a class play to nip the ball off Hazard towards the other side of our box. After seeing that play and the determination he had I completely agree with AH, the lad is a dreadlocked hybrid of Ashley Cole, Carlos and Lahm, he will captain his country to the World cup and win us the league. Seriously though it was a bright point in what has been a bad start to the season, just hope he can go on to become something for us because it's a position we're really struggling with.

They look pretty devoid of confidence and ability as soon as they step onto the pitch tbh.

Aye especially a two year one. He's clearly still capable of performing but I think it's going to get rarer and rarer, the performances in between those rare good ones will also get worse. The saddest part for me is that teams have known you can attack Newcastle with pace through the middle for years now and we've only now took steps to address it with Mbemba, it's stuff like that where there is a glaring weakness that has taken years to address that worries me the most about our set up.

Aye you're probably right, but I'm in a foul mood at the moment and watching his horrific haircut bob about as we lose another game in a pathetic manner (on about West Ham didn't see the shambles last night which I don't think he played in) meant he has been carefully selected as the target of my ire. I think the main thing about Colo is it has been such a shocking turn from team of the year 'this bloke is fucking unreal' to it genuinely looking like a bloke in a wig taking his position that it draws (perhaps unfair) anger from people, being captain of the total shit show going on for the last few seasons also doesn't help.

Aye I think that's it tbh. Most of us saw it as a good window, we knew there were still gaping holes in the squad but as the squad has been constantly neglected and thinned (not just meaning big sales but we've consistently saw decent contributors leave without being replaced) most were happy just to see some of those holes partially covered. I think the worst move was Thauvin, most worried when he signed and I don't think many thought he was any better than Cabella really so that 13m could have been used elsewhere. Overall though Gloom is spot on here we somehow look more clueless than we did under Carver, a little more organized at the back (probably helped by our new 8m CB) but more clueless going forward. I don't know what's wrong with this club (clearly Ashley overall but surely he can't be the main reason we look so clueless on the field) but we've basically had teams on the field making 5 yard passes look difficult for the best part of 3 year.

I don't feel it's all that harsh tbh, he was an utter embarrassment that year. I understand it was a new league and the rest of the team struggled but he was an utter fucking horror show, maybe harsh to some but as a 10m player who was being paid sixty grand or so a week it was shambolic, the team was utter dross but he was a part of it. He rescued himself with a canny season in the Championship and the two Premier league campaigns afterwards but he has again been fucking wank in the two after them and so far this season (bar the Man Utd game). He hasn't been helped no but he has also basically tried to quit the team when it was going rough to fuck off back home. He has also seriously lacked composure whenever he comes up against a player who has the beating of him, normally ending with a pathetic childish lashing out and an early walk down the tunnel. I remember him playing in midfield for us once (maybe twice?) and it was a disaster, I have absolutely zero tolerance for Louise Taylor and her useless opinions on football so I agree with Alex that I would love to see the games in which he excelled there for Argentina. Now I do say all of this from a terrible mood and the truly embarrassing performances of the shambolic playing staff of Newcastle United aren't helping that, so perhaps I am being harsh on Colocinni but at the moment I don't feel I am. He has also failed to recognise that his hair cut is absolutely fucking shit, it's an embarrassment and he has failed to see it in six fucking years at the club so I hold that against him too, at least Krul seems to have made attempts to rectify the horrific outings his hair has had over the years.

“I got on the phone to Colin. He said, ‘Come back here if you want, we’re playing Scunthorpe in a couple of weeks. Who have you got? Liverpool. Don’t be an arsehole, son.’ What a class side that was, despite the utter shite that has been served up during Ashley's entire reign we can at least look back and think of the great Keegan and Robson sides we got to watch. I feel sorry for the younger lads like Haydonator that have had basically nowt but the Ashley years to grow up watching, utterly shameful tbh the stuff we have seen on the pitch for the last three seasons barely counts as football.

Aye, think most feared it after Ant pointed out he was in that worst 11 side just before he signed for us. Waste of time from the looks of it, shame we didn't spend the money on a left back, striker or centre back.

Colo is fucking crap and has been for most of his career at Newcastle, had two or so seasons where he was brilliant but either side of them he has been horrible.

Pretty scary stuff, a loss and no goals scored against Sheffield Wednesday reserves, seems their fans were completely right when they basically wrote us off. We are really getting embarrasing, there is something wrong behind the scenes, all the knocks players keep missing games for and the consistently shite performances of nearly all the players. I didn't see the starting 11, did Sissoko play?

Aye Mourinho is a complete prick tbh, he got away with it first time round with a lot of people because he was coming in off the back of the CL with Porto so he was the exciting foreign coach but he's just an obnoxious arrogant prick. A lot of the shite he comes out with nowadays is just disrepectful, I can't remember the player it was but I think it was some West Brom player and he went around yelling about how he was a mickey mouse player, it's just needless and pathetic from a supposed professional. As for Ferguson's world class comments I think he's just desperate to get sound bites for his book, didn't he rip into Keane last time? and everyone at the time saw the comments as ridiculous given Keane's major role in some of his best teams. Either that or he has been hammering the whiskey even more since retirement.

About 18 month ago.

In other news we are making our charge up the table, 2nd bottom now lads. I expect them to DHL the top dogs trophy back to us.

This Newcastle v Sunderland match is shaping up to be one of the worst football games the Premier League will ever see.

It always helps to have a player as capable of accumulating offsides like Cisse in the side.

Utter fucking wank performance, really worrying stuff. Never showed any signs until Watford dropped off and Janmaat took the game by the scruff of the neck, shame the other 9 outfield players didn't bother helping him much. Worried.

Coloccini has been absolutely fucking wank today.

Dodgy again by Prodl like.