Howay

Shouldn’t be gambling your giro money. Think about all the blue pop you could buy for the nippers. Enjoy yet another season in the third tier you trampy little mug. How much longer are you going to be stinking out a Newcastle forum?

If only they’d put Kevin Ball in charge. FUCKING LOSERS knocked out in the first round of the playoffs by a side nicknamed the imps, and who were non league in 2017.... massive club though Inbred fucking cunts.

Lincoln pen?

It doesn’t quite work like that does it? Also worth noting we have played more European football under Ashley than your lot have in their entire history.

You’d think with everyone connected with them being such a MLF he would waive that in order to help them?

I genuinely find it hilarious that they’re so blinded when it comes to all things Newcastle that they honestly don’t see the massive gap that exists between where they are and the Premier League.

They really do post some fucking shit. Kevin Ball ffs.

Phenomenal this bloke man. So many twists and turns, first he mentions his second hand battery acid is sugar free and it’s exclusively on Amazon (big news as it means even #HeronFoods won’t stock it), completely ignoring that it’s not the good type of exclusive in which he signed an exclusivity deal with Amazon it’s more he’s ran out of places to sell it so he whacks it on there and then drives the two orders from the mad mistake a month to his local post office. Then his big update about the Monaco Grand Prix is that he’s excited for it, no doubt he will be watching on tv but will nick some photos off someone that’s there to pretend he is, “Mercedes let me test drive the car, even asked if I could take over for Hamilton as they’ve never seen a better driver... I told them to fuck off as they asked me to wear a mask #business”. The final play of this master piece was to announce Sunderland are the best club in Europe, proving that he has clearly been sniffing glue in what looks like an abandoned community centre.

“Despite Sheffield win” you mean to say that a 1-0 win at home against one of the worst sides to ever grace the Premier League didn’t sway the punters?

Aye I saw some getting annoyed at him on Twitter, but what do they honestly expect? He’s not going to stay here managed by a fucking idiot at a club that had essentially the perfect season in the eyes of the owner. Nothing he said was remotely disrespectful to the club, he simply made it clear that the only way he will stick around is if the ambition matches his (which it never will).

It seems he did his brand of commentary over today’s “heartbreaker”, I’ve not watched but I’m sure it’s brilliant.

But their owner went to a U-23 game which meant he’s amazing, “gets it” and they have their club back.

What a fucking stinking game this is . Nice to make sure the fans in attendance get the full Steve Bruce masterclass.

It would be bad enough if it was just shite off the top of his head, but the saddest part is he’s clearly wrote down this shambolic little ode to Wyke and even had a long think about the instrumental that it will (dubiously) go with. Of course being a mackem he’s elected to go with what sounds like New Monkey, which as we all know is the music to all major mackem social events.

Aye, like he recorded that and then watched it back and though yup I want to put that onto Twitter for everyone to see. What a nobber, “fight for the future of the mackems” they are utterly tragic.

Almost makes me wish Chelsea had won.

I always find when they play shocked that Rafa “got more respect/leeway from supporters” one of the weirdest angles the likes of Edwards work in their Bruce v Rafa obsession. Benitez earned that level of respect, Bruce has accomplished comparatively nothing as a football manager.

They love a pointless debate that has no way of factually dispelling it in the moment (see Classy debate). The fact is they’re a million miles away from having an ASM calibre player at their club, it’s also just a weird debate -they think Sessegnon was a good player so even if he was better than ASM (he’s absolutely not btw) does that mean ASM isn’t a good player? The fact is this is coming from a fan base that had many discussions where they argued that Colback and Cattermole were a better midfield duo than Cabaye and Tiote, they’re completely incapable of making any rational judgement on our players. We could have Lionel Messi playing for us and they’d tie themselves in knots to come up with some weird argument that he’s shit. Sessegnon played for them between the ages of 27-29, they’re trying to compare him to a bloke who came to the league at 22/23 and is still only 24 . If they want to compare the players at similar ages then Sessegnon managed 6 goals in 61 games for Le Mans at a similar age range to ASM getting 6 in 49 in the PL for us, as the goal metric seems to be the one they’ve focused on. So objectively at a similar age ASM has a better strike rate in a harder league away from the comforts of home. They’re also comparing goals in seasons where Sessegnon has played 15 games more than ASM, if you take the three seasons where they played similar amount of games Sessegnon managed 5, 1, and 2 goals in 26, 28, and 25 game seasons respectively. ASM has had 3 goals in each of his 26, and 23 game seasons, also worth noting is that the seasons we are comparing here are also Sessegnon 5+ PL seasons into his career where he is between 28/29 and 32/33, so a very experienced senior pro in what really would be his prime compared to a young forward in his first two seasons in a foreign league. That’s purely using their goal argument, from what I’ve seen of Sessegnon as a player he was simply never on ASM’s level, and if ASM continues with this improvement and consistency then he will play for a top side soon, whereas Sunderland and West Brom were basically the pinnacle of Sessegnons career. Again, it’s a pointless debate and one where you can’t argue as they simply harp on about the two seasons Sessegnon outscored ASM. I mean I suppose that’s the issue when the best players to play for your club are of the calibre of Kevin Phillips we’ve had maybe 15+ strikers alone better than that journeyman.

Brilliant.

A classic but this sums the boring little wanker up.

Aye, it wasn’t even remotely close. It didn’t even look close in real time on the first look, Ake was always clearly ahead of him ffs.

They’ll make Alex Bruce cry mind.

Why can’t he put that type of power behind his shots from open play?