Jill

Well now you mention it, my fingernail is looking slightly brittle....

Yeah but my fitness is shit AND I'm a girl so I don't even stand a chance to begin with.

Barton in particular is fucking gash. Butt and Viduka are past it. Geremi never had it.

It's been woeful stuff.... It'll have to be a hell of a team talk at half time.

I'll turn up for drinking reasons only - might make an appearance to laugh hysterically at the football. If my fitness was a little better I'd actually consider playing.

Fucks sake. Saw that coming a mile off. I'm about to twat my flatmate too for bringing his mackem girlfriend round.

Oh you do crack me up.

Right... where's that corkscrew....

I'm bricking it tbh. Going to have to get a bottle of wine in for this I think.

Beastly.

I've still got my NES and the gun thing somewhere. Can't get it to work though.

Funny as fuck tbf.

Twaterazzi

Sponsored. I'm far too lazy to do anything like that myself so if anyone else wants sponsoring, give me a yell.

Arsenal game.

Cool, cheers Meenzer. Take it Osborne Road is a decent area in terms of having to rush from the train station then back to St' James? That's basically where I meant when I mentioned Jesmond. Decent for getting to & from town.

I used to be alright, for a girl.. I started off playing in defence but ended up playing on central/left midfield and much preferred that. Chipped in with a couple of goals as well, but my career ended prematurely 'cause I thought the coach was a total c-word and spat my dummy. I'd love to start playing again but sadly there's not a huge demand amongst my female friends - plus I'm horrifically unfit.

Are you saying Jill's house is like that of a brothel/cheap hotel? Might've known you'd have a snide comment to make. No, really I just know nothing about hotels in Newcastle.

Band you saw live Korn Play you saw live My friend's sister's school play last April :-S It was crap. Restaurant you ate at Does Wetherspoons count Grabbed a quick jacket potato before the game last weekend.. Meal you cooked Chicken enchiladas

Judging by some of the photos on his Facebook, I'd be tempted to agree.

Happy birthday.

Cheers folks. Absolutely fucked at the moment like. Spewed up all over me carpet. Shit, I was about to say you were getting soft in your old age, then I realised how old you are.. fuuuuck. I'm used to the insults off you though Jill. I also remember getting some random Scottish bloke last night to say "There's been a murder." Happy birthday you piss weak sack of shit.

Cheers folks. Absolutely fucked at the moment like. Spewed up all over me carpet. Shit, I was about to say you were getting soft in your old age, then I realised how old you are.. fuuuuck.

Easily the best character. I liked Kev & Veronica too. Not sure about all these JCL characters turning up, still worth a watch though.

Happy birthday chuck.