David Kelly

Like the commentators said, Buttler would have been proud of it.

Unreal some of the shots woakes and Rashid played at the end.

Big blow losing Bairstow. Do well to get to 300 with who we have left.

Don’t think there is any defence of him. He certainly looks no better than Rivière but at the price we’ve allegedly paid for him it’s understandable that people want to see him improve and assume that at some point people were seeing an exciting young player in him. I’m lost as to what that was though.

Roots form has got to be a concern. Having a very lean spell in both forms now.

Nice of us to help them get their confidence up

Whilst you can’t defend Joelinton it has to be said that our midfield was completely incapable of holding on to the ball or doing anything with it. Wilson would undoubtedly hold the ball better than Joelinton and allow others to get closer to him, but if we ever have to play those two in the middle of the park in the premier league we’ll get tortured. If we’re going to ever get anything out of him then we’re going have to give him more to work with also.

For all Wood is a joy to watch steaming in and obviously a massive threat with his pace, I doubt he would have been able to keep it as tight as the likes of Curran(s). I know he actually had the best economy in the first match but keeping it really tight just isn’t his game.

That was a fantastic combination of superb bowling and and an Aussie collapse on Sunday. Really looking forward to the decider on Wednesday.

The Boys is just about the best antidote to marvel at the moment. Des was canny last night. Never realised that Dennis Nielsen was Scottish.

Think part of the hate comes from the thought that we keep seeing him playing poorly yet he gets in the England team in Hayden doesn’t get a look in. I’m also in the couldn’t give a fuck about England camp combined with Hayden isn’t close to being an international camp.

Looked a lot better than I expected us to be a couple of weeks ago. All the new boys looked good and Carroll had his best game since his return. Have to temper it of course with West Ham being dog shit but you can’t complain about that for a start to the season.

You can rely on Luke Edwards for the piss on our chips version of events.

He’ll be under contract for at least another 4 years I imagine and was easily our best player last season after costing us around £20m. I assume you’d have to be looking at a good £40m minimum. Mind if that’s what Joelinton was worth then you’ve got to at least double that.

Hung herself I've heard. Terrbile thing to have happened.

To be fair, they're all more likely to get goals than our current shower.

His Wiki page says he played most of the games for the last three seasons so I'm not sure about injury prone. His goal scoring hasn't been great for a side of similar ability other than that season before last (which was also when Frazer got 14 assists). I would say he's clearly an upgrade on what we have but certainly not someone who's going to get the pulse racing unless he can find that form of a couple of years ago. But my expectations are so low of what we can expect to bring in at this stage, he'd be a very positive move for us.

I'm far from wanting to see the back of Ritchie but if we got Wilson in as part of it and then got Frazer in on a free that would represent good business for a club as shit as us.

The proposed and completed signings all look fucking terrible. Third choice keepers, midfielders Burnley don’t want, centre backs worse than our fifth choice, second strikers when we don’t have a number 9 worth the name and some left back back who would cost about the same as me. Last summer we smashed our transfer record (allegedly) as well as signing one of the brightest prospects in ligue 1 and we were still the worst team I saw all season, with the possible exception of Bournemouth when we played them down there. This is going to be a fucking slog and I really don’t know if I have the stomach for it any more.

Yeah I think it’s all about following the basic plot. I’ve no idea what was happening when twilight boy was pulling them out of the cave. To be honest I had no idea who they were fighting against. But I just went with the ride. I can totally get why anyone wouldn’t like it.

I enjoyed Tenet. I’ve no idea what was happening a lot of the time but I don’t think I was supposed to. If you liked Inception I’d think you might like this. If you didn’t I wouldn’t bother with it.

He starts today in a friendly against Crewe if anyone is remotely interested.

He's barely playing into his early 30's man. On the rare occasions that he does play these days he looks a shadow of what he was. If he wasn't here he'd have retired now I reckon.

Another shite signing for a shite club. As inspiring as our manager. Only positive I can take from it is that it should allay any fears of us signing Bentaleb.

I remember my mam tutting all the way through Robocop when I watched that as a bairn. Strangely though all that bothered her was the swearing, Murphy getting shot to fuck, ED209 on the rampage or Emil getting covered in acid and then driven through didn't seem to concern her. Actually neither Bob Morton sniffing coke off a hookers tits but I assume that was because she didn't have a clue what was happening.