The Fish

Yep, this and my Dad confusing catching up with listing his itinerary for the next few days then "I'll get your mum". People are fucking weird.

I was creating this straight off the top of my extremely shiny dome.

When that cold chill creeps up my spine, I immediately interrupt her, make a big show of suddenly remembering something and ask her about a house job I know she wants doing. She's so busy reminding about the mirror she wants hanging up that she forgets her tale about Emma*, but Emma* from work not her sister, the one who I met at that wedding, the one in the barn, anyway her husband has kind of checked out and is off with his mates most weekends instead of helping with the kids. Bless her, she doesn't even question how that "reminded" me about the mirror. *Names have been changed to protect the innocent

"I can't wait for Wyki to go out so I can wave at the man in the little boat to my fanfic of Jamaal and Callum."

Good that. He's definitely been better than I thought he'd be in Botman's absence. Mind, he does look like he's explaining how he's actually fine that she's happy with her new fella.

In the Champions League; PSG have played 2 at home, won 2, scored 5, conceded 0. NUFC have played 2 on the road, won 0, scored 0 conceded 2. Last five League games; PSG W5 D0 L0 GF 17 GA 4 NUFC W3 D1 L1 GF 11 GA 5

It's highly unlikely we can qualify from this group, it was unlikely before a ball was kicked but now we're ravaged by injury we've more chance of seeing CT poop rainbows. So it makes sense to concentrate on getting back into the competition next season, when we'll likely have an easier group, we'll definitely have more players available, players with more experience in the CL and probably a slew of new transfers who can add to our depth. I'm not saying rollover, I'm saying don't run ourselves into the ground trying to win a game that's likely irrelevant. If Bruno or Gordon get injured we're in big trouble.

78% of people from Chester Le Street would be battered by Stevie.

I have low expectations, but I don't really care. Would rather we win on Saturday to be honest.

My contempt for all things Evertonian means I'm quite happy with their failure to beat an absolutely honking Manchester United. This was their chance to use their indignant rage and try and build momentum. Instead a crap Man United turned up, barely had to ride a tackle, got a soft penalty and strolled home with 3pts, the Puskas award and Dyche's knackered vocal chords in their back pockets. Calvert Lewin had about 5 chances in the first half that he should have buried, but he fluffed his lines. Pickford only had 4 saves to make, he managed 3. In a game where effort and commitment would have been the bare fucking minimum Man Utd, attempted way more tackles than Everton did. They were talking about it on MOTD. Given the anger in the stands, you would have expected a bit of blood and thunder on the pitch, but it was all too easy for Ten Haag's boys. Man Utd will drop more points than they win if they keep playing like that, and Everton will have a lot of their momentum sapped by such a feckless showing. They're away to Forest, then home to us and Chelsea. Could well see them failing to pick up a win before they go to Burnley mid-Dec

It's great that Miley and Livramento are getting (and taking) their chance, but we're going to need our full strength team if we want any chance of silverware or qualification for European football next season. Miley played well, but he's a 17yr old kid, I don't think it's a good idea to put your hopes on the shoulders of someone who still has a bed time. And we're having to run our lynchpin players into the ground. The more they play (and play 90 minutes) the greater the risk of injuries to Isak, Bruno, Gordon, Schar, Trippier, et al. Especially the way Eddie has us playing. Bruno is especially important. Lose him and we lose our rhythm almost entirely. We just don't have a like for like replacement.

His point is; "I don't have a personality, so hating Newcastle will have to do instead."

Thought I'd have a look at their match thread This could be a very entertaining morning for me.

Mitro-esque

I was not confident at all, even before the line up. Thought the bench was a joke; 3 keepers, 4 kids, Dummett and Ritchie. Top result, good performances. Trippier is class, Gordon is brilliant, Isak adds so much to our attack, Bruno is unstoppable, Livramento looks a gem, Miley could have big future ahead of him. This post is sponsored by Long Hop, and whiskey

I'm on board, I miss government mandated exercise. Plus, more excuses not to see the sisters.

Because of the little boats? Or, um, the dead cat?

Careful, you'll be claiming Ant put a virus on your computer if you don't watch it.

So, not more vases and pan sets then? I'd kill for for a partner who just wanted books. Books are easy; buy 'em, read 'em, donate 'em. We've honestly got a fucking washing machine down there that's not connected or owt. There it is, sitting there, taking up space in what should be my little Fortress of Solitude. Too cumbersome for me to move without another couple of strapping lads and some specialist equipment.