The Fish

Micky van de Ven Richarlison Guglielmo Vicario Ben Davies Cristian Romero Wilson Odobert Destiny Udogie Rodrigo Bentancur All out for them. Plus Big Ange just said that their squad has been hit by a sickness bug (hangover) so a few have missed training as well.

Ben Doak at Boro.

... Bruce?

Don't they have that Scottish lad who is apparently the greatest player to ever do anything ever?

You tell 'em KD! Some of these cunts don't know they're born. Lounging around while we've been at work*. *If by "at work" you mean logged on in the home office, doing fuck all.

Think it puts Ipswich's "failure" and Chelsea's "Success" into context. Ipswich matching only 3% of Chelsea's wage bill.

I've only been off on the bank holidays and weekends me ol' mucker. If you wanna be the best, if you wanna beat the rest, Automation's what you need.

We've watched seasons 1 and 2 of Shrinking on Apple tv over Christmas. Really enjoyed it. Apple is consistently putting out good tv without much fanfare. Weird.

I know Sky costs an arm and a leg, but that seems needlessly cruel.

I took each clubs' wages reported in the latest accounts, totalled them up, and had a play around with the figures. So, total wage bill is c3.227bn a year. 20 league clubs. So an equal wage cap would be 'fair' at around £161m a year for each club. This shows how much each club would have to cut, or to spend to match that cap. As it stands, Man City have the biggest wage bill at £359.3m a year on wages, Ipswich spend the least at around £11.9m. So, with that in mind, the difference between each league position could be expected to be around £18.3m. e.g. 18th, 19th and 20th would spend £54.8m, £36.6m and £18.3m respectively, while 1st, 2nd and 3rd would be £365.8m £347.5m and £329.2m Green line shows that gradual increase, blue line shows actual wage spent. And here is how much each club has spent on wage, per point they've won so far (Wage on the axis, pts by the bars)

Happy New Year everyone. Statistically speaking, we're due a good one, right?

Manchester United vs Newcastle Full Match Replay - Premier League 2024/2025

What, these two? Top chart shows Goals scored, vs xG. Blue shaded area shows we're scoring more goals than you'd expect given the chances. Red area shows we're being profligate, given the chances. Bottom chart shows goals conceded, vs expected goals against. Blue shaded area shows we're conceding fewer goals than you'd expect given the chances. Red area shows we're conceding more than you'd expect. e.g. Brighton at home, you'd have expected us to score twice, and conceded once. But we were wasteful. What these charts answer are the questions; are we consistently wasteful? Are we consistently porous? Is it getting better, or worse?

I've so many sensible reasons why we should win at Old Trafford tonight, and one insensible one why we won't.

Sorry Rents, this must be rough as fuck. Keep talking about it, even if it's just on here. Don't have a drink to 'get you through' something though. You'll feel doubly bad if you do.

I've got no leave left so I'm in every day. On the bright side there's fuck all work on so I'm chilling out 9-5, and when there were two extra mums, and four extra kids tearing around the house I was safely hiding down in the office.

They are not confident. https://www.villatalk.com/topic/26114-pre-match-thread/#comments I think this will be a tight affair. Well, I guess I mean it'll be a close game, there'll be plenty of chances for both teams, I reckon.

Think that's true of most football fans to be honest. I know Man City fans who are viewing this utterly mental collapse as just par for the course for their club. "Typical Man City".

Then what the fuck are we all doing here?

That's a very memeable image.

I didn't realise Ipswich hadn't yet won at home. They have managed to draw with Man Utd, Villa and Fulham though, which isn't to be sniffed at for a newly promoted side .