The Fish

I was not confident at all, even before the line up. Thought the bench was a joke; 3 keepers, 4 kids, Dummett and Ritchie. Top result, good performances. Trippier is class, Gordon is brilliant, Isak adds so much to our attack, Bruno is unstoppable, Livramento looks a gem, Miley could have big future ahead of him. This post is sponsored by Long Hop, and whiskey

I'm on board, I miss government mandated exercise. Plus, more excuses not to see the sisters.

Because of the little boats? Or, um, the dead cat?

Careful, you'll be claiming Ant put a virus on your computer if you don't watch it.

So, not more vases and pan sets then? I'd kill for for a partner who just wanted books. Books are easy; buy 'em, read 'em, donate 'em. We've honestly got a fucking washing machine down there that's not connected or owt. There it is, sitting there, taking up space in what should be my little Fortress of Solitude. Too cumbersome for me to move without another couple of strapping lads and some specialist equipment.

How does your fella feel about that?

Can you teach Mrs Fish that Mantra? We moved into this house about 5 years ago and that fucking basement still has shit in there that has been there since then. I've said that, given the authority, I could clear it out in a weekend, but NOOOooOOOOoooo sometime soon we just might need that still mint in box pan set.

Hard to say, nobody has ever witnessed that.

Nah, when he fucks up the shelving, he'll give up and just use the cardboard boxes they came in as an ersatz storage solution. As moisture makes them sag, he too will crumple under the realisation that he's no Handy Andy.

Magedia

This is now the "If you heard a shit joke today, post it", or at least that's what the last few pages have tortoise.

Us, Man City, probably Chelsea and Man Utd, who would the other 3 be?

Is Scotty bald now? Good lad, only the very best of us make that step forward into maturity. When I became a man I put away childish things, like hair on my head.

He came at the board's original accountant Gemmill: My Brother in Facts.

Cheers for this CT. We can get accommodation from Mrs Fish's Aunt and Uncle. We were thinking about getting day tickets, but queueing at the gate doesn't fill me with anything but preternatural dread.

The audacity, the gall, the hubris of man trying to come at an accountant with maths.

A pedant complaining about pedantry clearly did not know who they were fucking with.