The Fish

Improvised scene because Harrison had the shits. Swordsman took ages to 'die' on the first take because he wanted his minute in the spotlight to last a while longer. Little did he know it would live on much longer this way.

Must have watched Mary Poppins recently.

You're still wrong. It's over 4hrs to London from my gaff, only a little under 3 to Newcastle

Friendly, generous, hard working, grounded, not a cunt?

Thank the Tories for that, no High speed line between Liverpool and Newcastle (or York)? It's insane. You should be able to get across the width of this country in less time that it takes to travels it's length.

Unpopular manager with the fans and the players, players on big money contracts who either want away or are happy to sit it out. Established youth system and scouting department. Uncertainty around the takeover. Sky high expectations from the fans. or Popular manager with fans and players, players on modest wages who are happy where they are or affordable to offload, opportunity to create a lasting legacy. Settled ownership with near unlimited funds for development away from the first team. Moderate expectations from the fans. It's not like he'll be on small wages here either. I'll believe it when I see it.

Not read the thread because there's the stench of overreaction pouring off it, so here's my unimpeachable take; It's Trippier's fault we are out of the Cup. He was under little pressure, in the final few minutes of added time and needed only to head/boot it away, pretty sure he could have ducked under it and let it go out of play as Dubravka did a couple of times. He fucked up and it cost us badly. He compounded that error by smashing his penalty wide. That said, he wasn't supposed to be playing a full half and only came on because Colwill got away with a foul on Krafth that would have seen the Chelsea player sent off. Trippier carried us to safety in his first season, and lead us on and off the pitch into the Champions League last season. He's been not only our best right back and the League's best right back, he's been our best player and best performer more times than not. He's in a bad run of form lately, but even in this poor run 99% of his game is good it's just that his errors have cost us more than those of others have. Livramento headed the ball back, across goal, and nearly set up Gallagher. We were lucky then and nobody is digging out Tino for that error, but it was as bad as Trippier's. Trippier is clearly in dire need of a rest, get his mind and his body right. We have the perfect deputy in Livramento, and now that Botman and Burn are back there isn't the need to play him on the left. Chelsea should have seen at least one of theirs sent off, and had Caicedo seen red in the first couple of minutes I'm sure we would have seen the game out, as it is he didn't, Gordon was struggling from then on and while we posed a few questions on the break a combination of fatigue and too many players gifting the ball to Chelsea had us sitting deeper and deeper and inviting pressure. Keep inviting that amount of pressure and mistakes will happen. Passing was atrocious throughout the game and I wonder if that's because we have to set up deeper due to missing Pope's sweeping ability? That said, we still created a few opportunities and I wonder if away from home we'd be better suited to returning to last season's approach; having Burn shift to a back 3, while the right back marauds forward? Gives a stronger base, more defensive while still committing men forward to attack? Gutted to go out of the cup like that, but I, as ever, am zen as fuck.

Biggest surprise for me was there wasn't a (Deceased) beside the name of Courtney Love.

The Midlands? I'm north of Sheffield, so I'm in the North. I don't make the rules. People still say hello on the street, pints are still under £5, and at least some of the Land Rovers have mud on them.

God Craig, sorry to hear about your troubles man. As HMHM says, we're all cunts, but sometimes a cunt can make everything a bit better.

Southern? I'm more Northern than you are, you ornithophobic shitkicker.

I honestly think the idea is that Tonali is Longstaff's replacement/improvement. They both have an aptitude for the defensive side, but both crop up in that pocket outside the box on the right hand side. They can both create from that position, can both drive with the ball or play it around. They're closer in style than Tonali is with Bruno or Joelinton or Willock.

Season. From 7 possible opponents we've drawn; Chelsea, Dortmund, Milan, PSG, Man City, Man Utd and Sunderland. Typical that even when we do draw a smaller side, they pull our local rivals out the bag. By comparison Man Utd got ;Bayern, Copenhagen, Crystal Palace, Galatasaray, Newcastle and Wigan.

Gemmil's just getting a little goading. I used to get unending abuse from this board and it only made me a better man. Think of me as Private Joker.

Coo-l

They've got the individual talent to snatch a victory from an underwhelming performance. We're running on fumes, even with the confidence boosting win over Fulham. I'm not expecting us to go through.

Ah I thought you and PL had beef over phones or something. Little disappointed to be honest.

I always get a case for my phone. Not because I want somewhere to keep my bank cards, or one of those odd handles that selfy ghouls use, but simply because I am the clumsiest of cunts ever to walk the Earth.

What have I missed?

What were you expecting?

Christmas Crackers aren't designed to be funny. They're designed to elicit a groan as a groan is more inclusive.

I have a Pixel 6, it's grand. Stay tuned for more exciting developments on this story.