The Fish

It's superb. Similar arc to Ted Lasso mind, but superb none the less.

And you're on the list.

Genuinely think Tonali was bought to usurp Longstaff, and if he hadn't spent his time in the local Guglielmo Collina we might have been talking about Longstaff's imminent move to Fulham, but we are where we are.

That's a fair point. That might shift Longstaff into my crosshairs.

And if we could afford it, I'd strengthen the team without losing any good players, especially Willock. But we apparently have fuck all FFP room to manoeuvre .

Trouble is, neither of them have a decent deputy. Almiron's deputy is currently Murphy, Wilson's is Gordon or Barnes out of position. So, selling either would still leave us short in those areas. e,g, say we sold Almiron for €30m, signed Wirtz for €60m. Now we've got an upgrade on Almiron, but no sub. Any injury to Florian and we're Wirtz off. We'd probably only get around €15m for Wilson, that's not enough for a 3rd choice striker for a team with lofty ambitions, let alone a 2nd choice striker who will likely have to play a lot of games to cover for the injured Isak. I take your point re: Tonali and Barnes, but given we've only just signed them, I'd be shocked if they were even considered for sale.

Lets be honest, none of us are exactly snowed under.

I think you're misunderstanding the central point. Say there are three groups within the squad, we can argue about which player fits in which group, but as a starter I put it like this. Group 1 - The 'Purple players' Group 2 - Squad players Group 3- the Fringe Nobody in group 3 would command a decent fee, so lets rules them out as options to increase FFP wriggle room. So that leaves groups 1 and 2. Without spending a LOT of money on a replacement, I can't see anyone in group 1 that we should sell and it would leave us in a similar position where we're either putting square pegs in round holes, or significantly dropping the standard of player by using a deputy from groups 2 or 3. So that leaves group 2. In that group you've got a couple of young lads coming through in Anderson and Miley, their stock is set to rise and we don't yet know what their real ceiling is, and you've got Hall who isn't our player yet so we can't sell him anyway, so lets scratch them off the list. Dan Burn and Longstaff have shown they can play on the biggest stage and while we will need to upgrade them both, right now they appear integral to how Howe wants us to play, so they're out. So, who does that leave you with? And of those, who'd command the biggest fee? And who plays in a position we have depth in? I mean, if everyone is fit, who does Willock get in ahead of? Bruno? Joelinton? Tonali? Longstaff? He's a great option to have on the bench, or for certain opponents, but he doesn't command a starting place ahead of those lads. So, if that is the case, and we need money to bring in players for expensive positions (DM, RW & CF), does it not make sense to sell our most valuable, least integral player?

This is like that lass in Ashington all over again.

It's not about 'want', you goober, it's about looking at what we've got and being realistic about where we can make moves, to make money. Who are our most valuable, least integral players? Just like your beau, Saint-Maximin, these two represent players who are not guaranteed starters, but who can command a decent fee. Murphy is a great pro and works hard, but he's limited in terms of quality and we could still get ~£15m for him, Willock is great and in an ideal world we'd keep him, however he plays in a position we're strong in and could command a fee upwards of £35m. That's £50m (plus their wages) to increase our ability to strengthen without breaking FFP rules. Due to years of neglect by Ashley we have little to no valuable depth in the squad. So players like Ritchie, Dummett, Hayden, Hendrick will get fuck all in terms of a fee but are eating up wages. At least the first two in that list are 'good characters to have around the dressing room' and won't mind not playing, and all that. I'd much rather we sack off those 4 entirely and spend whatever we like on replacements, but we can't, so we have to be clever and we have to be ruthless.

Don't go giving random people moderator badges, this board would lose it's fucking mind.

Just what, in the blue hell, is your problem now?

Doesn't seem to be a concern if you play in blue either, mind.

I think he means Szoboszlai and if I've spelled his name right without Googling, you all owe me a blow job.

If breaking FFP rules was purely a financial concern I'd happily spend a fortune and smash it to bits, but a points deduction is not something we can afford to be messing around with. Thanks to Chelsea we can't sign players on prison contracts either. What we need is a stock of saleable assets whose value has been fluffed by virtue of playing for a club that's performing well. Had it not been for the injuries I'm sure players like Dubravka, Murphy, Willock, Lascelles, Targett would be considered for sales and their values would have been higher at the end of last season than they are now. Sell them for anywhere between £5 and £35m, get their wages off the books and replace them with real quality. I read that Italy has changed their tax break law so Serie A clubs can't offer the same wages that they once could, meaning players may be thinking of leaving Europe's boot and there'll be players who were on their way who may be thinking twice. The Saudi project doesn't seem to be working out how they expected, so there may be players there we could sign too. I dunno, January is a very difficult window and we can expect no favours from Premier League clubs. I'd expect another domestic loan, and a couple of players from the continent be they on loan or permanent. There are 2-3 holes in the squad that are a priority.; DM and FW definitely, and RW maybe?

Ashington is gruesome enough as it is, but this?

Iwm am exshewwend dwivuh

Any gardening leave, or straight back into it?

Centre Parcs aside, this is eerily similar.

I hadn't heard of this. I wish I hadn't googled. Fucking hell.

I put up with a lot of shit, but comparing me to Steve twatting Wraith is a bridge too far.