The Fish

What's it on? I'm 'at work' and the little lad has a mate round, so downstairs is like a mini Mad Max hellscape.

It's not so much two holding midfielders, but two players who can defend and break the initial press with either passing technique, or physicality. Bruno is that player, but to do the ol' double pivot properly, you'd need another like him.

That's the problem though, the minute we lost people to injuries and/or opponents sussed us out the need for a true DM became apparent. With a proper DM we can play 2 attacking fullbacks, two CMs (from a variety of options), and either a 10 and 2 forwards, 2 widemen and 1 forward, or whatever. Play a 6 and you could have two centre mids ahead of him who push into the wide areas like Joelinton and Willock, with the fullbacks driving more centrally, a number 10 in the hole and two strikers up top. You could play two passers like Bruno and Tonali, and wide players like Gordon and Almiron, with Isak in the middle? You could play a more counter attack style with combative midfielders ahead of the 6, and pace from Barnes, Willock and Isak on the break. With a number 10 you're not solving for what is, in my mind at least, our biggest issue; the demands of a high pressing game on a small squad..

Ah, betwixt. Well, even though I'm a fan of being a twat with words, this twee bollocks can fuck right off into the deepest hole there is; Mrs Wykiki's after a visit from Wilson.* *sorry Wykiki I'm in a mood.

What the twee fuck is twixmas?

I wonder if that's partly because when he was regularly playing under Benitez, the system forced opponents to gamble on lower percentage shots, so he looked like he made lots of saves and his stats were inflated a bit. In reality they were mostly straight down his throat from 25yds+. Now, under Howe because of injuries and fatigue, our more open style means the chances we're giving up are easier?

It'll really bake your noodle to find out that he wrote A Few Good Men too.

How do you mean? It's written by the same bloke, and he turned it into a series.

I'm all for innovation at set pieces, I don't mind a well worked routine. I can't remember the manager, but didn't we used to stack up 4-5 big lads, then dart off in seemingly random directions? That was fun. There should be variation though, inswinging and outswinging, near post/far post, drilled or lofted. Which I guess is the point we're both making. One of Eddie's strategies is to overload one flank, switch the ball to the other during the attack, then switch back to the overloaded flank. No reason we can't do a version of that; overload the near post, play a short corner, loft to a now isolated player on the far side, then have him play it back in to the now far post, or if the better option is to have a shot have the winger do that instead. It's the same basic plan, but from a set play instead of open play.

Tearing* down that road in my mother's Rover 100 was a hoot. *limping

Used to be the place for illicit meetings of folks practising their infidelity.

See I don't blame Trippier for our lack of threat from set pieces, it's the lumps he's aiming at that don't do what they should. We've got a tall squad, but are so often beaten in the air by defenders. The best corners are where we reposition with a short ball then loft in a ball from somewhere other than the corner flag. For what it's worth I think Tonali is good with a dead ball, but we haven't got to see that much at all.

Or paying for someone else to do it in the shop.

He is, by far, the best set piece taker in the squad.

Wholly agree. Had we had a fuller squad, I wouldn't have been surprised to see two teams alternating between fixtures. Wilson and Barnes and Longstaff one game, Isak Gordon and Tonali the next. One half of the squad spending a week preparing for the league or cup game, the other preparing for the Champions League or games against tougher league opponents. We're only 1pt behind where we were at this stage last season, which given our piss poor luck with injuries and drawn opponents, is no mean feat.

Like what? Walter Mitty-esque? They fucking do like. I used to work with a bloke whose life, were any of it true, would be Hollywood material ten times over. Or do you mean nobody is so howl-at-the-moon mental when it comes to football they lose all sense of reason whenever their bitter rivals are mentioned? They do too. Just read that messageboard and the fury that pours off the screen from some regular contributors is astonishing. These are (mostly) grown men and women who cannot set aside petty partisan rivalry for a moment. People who somehow conflate supporting Sunderland with hating Newcastle. As Renton mentioned, we may well have a superiority complex when it comes to you, but we've got good fucking reason. Most of us are mid 30s to mid 50s, and for the past 20-40yrs Newcastle United have been superior to Sunderland in almost every season. Better players, better managers, better football, better finishes, better standard of competition, better crowds, just better. Of course some of us think Newcastle are better than Sunderland... we have been by pretty much every measure.

Any non-flat cappers we should be looking at there, Wykiki?

That tweet is right, imo. The style we play is predicated on supreme levels of fitness, when a couple of players miss a few games, that's manageable, but when 10+ players are missing for significant periods the toll it takes on the remaining squad is massive. That load has to be lightened, either with new players, or changing the system. You needn't start entirely fresh, but small changes here and there can have a big difference. e.g. beginning with more of a 4-2-3-1 instead of a 4-1-2-3 leaves you shorter up top, but a lot more defensively sound. Playing Bruno further forward with Longstaff and Miley operating deeper would reduce the load on the fullbacks and centrebacks, you would play deeper leaving less of a gap between CB and goalkeeper, which when you haven't a goal keeper able to play the sweeper keeper role would mean you're less susceptible to counter attacks. You can still play a pressing game, but use different triggers, instead of pressing the fullbacks when they receive the ball from the 'keeper, press when the defensive mid is receiving the ball, shut down passing options through the centre and to the wings. Yes, you likely still need to get past the CBs but at least your whole team isn't stretched as it is normally. Return to the dark arts more, break up the game and if you're criticised for time wasting, so be it. Make subs. No, Dummet and Ritchie and Hall aren't ready to start in the PL, but they can sure as shit be used to break up opposition momentum with a tactical sub and their fresh legs will cause as many problems for the opponents, as they will reduce problems for Newcastle's tiring legs. A few more players bought, a few players back and I still think we've enough to challenge for Europe.

Was it " Try as you might, you'll never be as hot as me!" ? Because that would make sense for you to bring up in this exchange. Ya basic Bitch.