The Fish

No idea to be honest. It could be accurate, but I doubt it. I mean, Sky Sports are as reliable as the Mail, the Express or whomever.

I've seen reports of that, but I thought you had up to midnight?

Jesus, I just thought... how lonely must "Tom" be now?

Multiple reports we've agreed personal terms with Doumbia. Seen no pictures of him in the North East mind you, and usually some jackass has tweeted a blurred long distance snap of a lad in awful jeans by now.

I had the other side of that when I did jury duty. Basically a nice, polite, church going, pillar of the community type smashed a glass in the face of a side bitch. Jurors wanted to let her off despite overwhelming evidence proving her guilt beyond any doubt. Had another assault case which was thrown out because a witness was chatting to the accused outside the courtroom about the case, or something like that. Think the judge was delighted to throw the case out because everybody on either side of the case was an arsehole. The last one was a sexual assault and was fucking horrific. re: the Avery case, agree with Gem's first post about it. Also, they seemed to rely on the bill of sale and the magazine being with the house as evidence that the girl was there. Even if the police didn't plant them, that they're there doesn't prove that she was. And does anyone have any idea why Brendan Dassey's defence lawyers didn't play the last hour and a half of the interview video where Dassey complains the police "got in his head"? My lass hated Kratz's voice and stated, in a tone which brook no argument, "that man is a fucking weirdo pervert", took until the last episode but when the sexting revelation occurred... you've never seen a woman look so pleased with herself.

Probably walk when he's here as well.

January spend thus far. Newcastle - 29m Jiangsu Suning 26.3m Bundesliga - 26m La Liga - 22m Ligue 1 - 5m

Pretyy sure that's how we've got Shelvey & Townsend, it probably was how we got Cabaye et al

Would a sophisticated cock wear a monocle?

I'd be genuinely surprised if CT had the attention span for the Fast Show.

You are and he has. I'd still start Mitrovic ahead of Cisse though.

Your charm and spelling has won me over.

fuck 'em

If you were aware of Newcastle United before Sports Direct? What the? Who the fuck would not have known about Newcastle United before Sports Direct got involved?

Rumours that we're chasing Lucas Orban a left back from Valencia on loan http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3422406/Newcastle-talks-Valencia-loan-deal-left-Lucas-Orban.html and people are tweeting that the Sun say we're after Kieran Gibbs, but I can't find owt. Be happy with the latter, don't know anything about the former. Think Orban is more likely than Gibbs though.

I may have missed a word or two from that. We'd not have the ball enough to provide decent service to your two strikers though? Against lesser sides who're want to pack the midfield we'd be overrun and our best attacking threat (Gini) would be chasing shadows instead of scoring goals.

I've seen loads of clubs have take-over bids fail, pretty sure I'm yet to see one actually go through.

You've no defensive midfielder in the centre. Shelvey might have a tackle in him, but he's no Tiote and he should be starting our attacks, not stopping theirs. Drop Cisse for Saivet/Colback and I think that's our best line up. Elliott Janmaat Colo* Mbemba Dummett* Saivet/Colback* Sissoko Shelvey Townsend Wijnaldum Mitrovic* We really have better than those I've starred though.

Course it is, but then there's not much point in anything really, is there?

I'm not quite sure if you're serious or not?

Nope. They put empty milk bottles back in the fridge.

Millwall fans are, to a man, odious shits. Obviously.

Really? I can't get bothered about Aldershot or Reading or Bournemouth. Obviously it only takes one fixture to change all that. Stevenage and Peterborough can fucking rot.

No, this is awful.