The Fish

Play like that and we’ll get 7-8 points from the next 12. We won’t play like that in every game. I’ll do player ratings in a mo, but just wanted to take a minute to appreciate Rafa Benitez. It’s jarring how important a good manager is. He was directing his troops for 90 minutes and was surely hoarse by the end of the game. He dropped our most expensive player, who just so happens to be our leading goal scorer. He left out fan favourite and Guts & Glory Mitrovic, who is our second highest goal scorer. I think everyone looked at our line-up and scratched their heads, but it makes sense. Mitrovic has been really influential when introduced as an impact sub, but less so when he starts. Sissoko has improved since getting the armband and had his best game in ages last night. I thought I had a dodgy stream when, at around 70 minutes, I saw Moussa Sissoko sprinting back after the ball. Brutally disappointing that Rafa won’t be here for long. Darlow – couple of nervy moments and could maybe have done better with Aguero’s offside goal, but also made a couple of good saves 7 Anita – two games in a row that he’s been impressive at right back, don’t think Janmaat should automatically reclaim his place to be honest. Hugely important goal. Seems to be a player for the big occasion, as his last MotM performance came vs West Ham to keep us up. – 9 Mbemba – Looks like our best centreback, important blocks, excellent positioning and often calm on the ball – 8 Lascelles – My word. Like Darlow a couple of nervy moments, but even when he gifted De Bruyne a chance he had the presence of mind to get back into position and force arguably the best midfielder in the Premier League to shoot early. Imperious in parts – 9 Dummett – we look so much more solid with him in the side. Don’t think that’s down to him, or down to having an actual left back. Didn’t make many mistakes at the back but didn’t offer much going forward. – 7 Tiote – Has been replaced by his 2011 counterpart. Superb tackling, most passes in the side, only lost possession once. 8 Colback – Decent but he’s still Jack Colback -7 Perez – Actually thought he had a fairly poor game, and I wanted him hooked quite early into the 2nd half. Still better than Gini though. Sissoko – Best game in blimmin ages. This is why his poor performances annoy people so much. This is what he’s capable of. Always wanted the ball (most touches on our team), most dribbles, should have scored though. 8 Townsend – Happy to admit I wasn’t excited about Townsend, looked like a Damien Duff character, but he’s worked hard for the side since he joined, he’s got 3 goals and 2 assists in 9 games and while he didn’t affect the scoreline today, he was instrumental in getting a point. – 9 Cisse – Touch of an Ameobi for the most part. Could maybe have done better with his early chance, but not a great performance beyond keeping their defenders busy. – 7 Subs Wijnaldum – Should have scored and doesn’t look hugely bothered. He’ll be off come the summer Mitrovic – Shame we couldn’t get a few more chances falling his way, looked like he really worried Mangala & Kompany. Aarons – No time to really impact the game, but good to see him back. Liverpool play Everton tonight and Villarreal next week. If they play a weakened side and we can nick a point it will put a lot of pressure on Norwich and sunderland. I still think we’re doomed, but there’s a slither of hope.

As reliable as the sunrise.

Ashley might be awful, but this guy is toxic.

Makes the tardiness of his appointment all the more galling. If he was in for Bournemouth and Stoke I think we'd be at least 4pts better off.

"his anita"?

True enough. He'll be decent in the Championship, seems to have more confidence now. He's the one directing the back line, he was the one that made sure Aguero was offside. Not that it mattered. FUCK I hate hoping. Tuesday night, on tv, in a game where you're expecting a spanking, which would increase the likelihood of your relegation. I can't understand why it wasn't empty, to be honest.

2-0 for Liverpool 6 points from Palace & Villa 1 point from Spurs Down on GD.

Aside from putting De Bruyne clean through I think he had an outstanding game. Also, when he points and shouts it's "Sarge in Trench", when Steven Taylor points and shouts it's "Tramp on Bench". I'm very hungover, fuck off.

Pubes like a 90s boyband hairdo

Yup.

Because I'm a huge drama llama I'm expecting the resultant house-clearing to make Villa more likely to pull themselves together next season.

Agbonlahor has been suspended by Villa for being an inconsiderate idiot.

Accuracy is important.

That's moaning, ya big moany bugger you.

He killed a guy with a crossbow.

Of course you'd like that you massive pest.

People all over Wykiki's office putting away their staplers and scissors and shit. Lorraine from accounts doing the Gary Lineker/Gascoigne "keep an eye on him" thing to Dan the office manager.

So the Roomba's in the cupboard for its bad behaviour?

How many times did you check the spelling there?

He hasn't looked fit when he has made appearances, but that could just be match sharpness. We were all baffled by Rafa's teamsheet v Swansea, but the man is far wiser than we are. #TrustInRafa

So why did you presume to state Cisse was picked to start by Rafa because he "is fairly happy that given chances Cisse is the better finisher".