The Fish

Man Utd mate is terrified that they're waiting for the end of the Euros before they approach/appoint Southgate. He begrudgingly understood my giddy excitement at that hilarious prospect.

He's like Mr Burns from that Simpsons episode

RIP

"WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS?! DIDN'T MOMMY AND DADDY SHOW YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD?!"

Fish's performances begs the question - How can we keep him invested in this poxy game?

Yeah it worked out about the same, so we plumped for UK purely for ease.

Chris is a lercal lad after all

Our lad's school has one week of the whit break later than seemingly every other borough, so that's the one week a year that holidays are remotely affordable. Just got back from Centre Parcs and it was about 60% of the price than it would have been a week earlier. Can't imagine we'll be doing anything more interesting than going to visit the folks in the other school holidays.

My masculine spirit animal isn't Andrew Tate or Joe Rogan, it's Bandit; the dad from Bluey. Any parents whose kids watch it might not know this, but Bandit is an archaeologist and the mum is in airport security. So he digs for a living, and she sniffs out drugs. Because those are dog jobs.

Hanging out with mates being a form a mental health therapy, is a hill I'd definitely die on. I'd argue that as the role of modern man has changed, it's severely impacted the mental health of men of our age. Where once men could spend most evenings in the pub with their mates, now we have to take our kids to tennis lessons and shit like that. I've no idea, but I'd also guess that 2-3 pints in the pub a night didn't significantly impact your pocket then, like it can now. I bought a pint of Madri recently, it cost me £7.50. Even the little bar near me charges £4+ for a pint of their own beer.

Used to work with a bloke who thought asking a lass "Ever had your breasts weighed?" then miming groping them while shouting "Wheeeeeeey" was the best chat up line. Same vibes

Since the arrival of the new one I have to take the eldest to Rugby (I know, I know), football, swimming and tennis. Swimming and Tennis isn't too badas I'm mostly just talking with the other parents on the sidelines, but Rugby and football are a "Lets get the parents involved" kind of thing. That's Saturday and Sunday mornings gone for the foreseeable, Monday and Friday early evenings gone too. As an aside, rugby dads are the fucking worst. Chummy cunts whose idea of banter is talking about how the Saracens got on, pretending they thought I was a sunderland fan, or asking how the match went after a loss, all with a vacant grin on their face. At least with Tennis it's mostly yummy mummys who at least provide a bit of eye candy.

Which one?

My sympathy can only extend so far for this lad. One of the major reasons he doesn't want to go into the office 5 days a week is because he doesn't drive and would need to get the train from Ilkley to Manchester every day. Not that he can't drive, he's got his license and everything, but he just won't do it. One of the jobs he's applied for is with the same company Mrs Fish works at. Which is a remote office entirely inaccessible by public transport and is 2hrs from his house by car anyway. Also, they insist on 3 days a week in the office too, so..... Like I said, sympathy only goes so far.

He's never won a popular vote.

If the sale doesn't go through, he'll be back to being mint soon enough.

Non-luddites appreciate it.

Final update for 23/24

Here's hoping the shady cabal of Tyneside businessmen have a reach farther than even RTG fear.

Glad to hear it Craig. I see a therapist too, it's helped my depression massively, my anxiety is still an ongoing issue which is of course a concern. And in being concerned about it, I get anxious and the whole merry dance starts again. I remember you not joining in with the abuse of the scousers and I genuinely thought there must be some familial tie, but it's really intriguing to hear it's linked to that disaster specifically and that you have more feelings tangled up in it. For me, apparently I have a huge huge hang up about food and that comes outin the way I eat, the way I fixate on certain dishes for a while then have an almost choleric reaction to it overnight, hoe I handle other people eating around me (I get properly triggered when my son doesn't eat properly, or if he dicks about at the table). Therapist says that's all linked to my bad relationship with my sister. Anyway, it's good to hear that the help is helping. I'd definitely recommend therapy for everyone, even people who feel fine.

Mentioned before that I know a lad who works there and he says the morale is through the floor. So many colleagues of his are looking for new jobs, he is too. Something he mentioned is that Man Utd will have to fish in a pretty small pond for his replacement. A pond that's getting smaller with every press release. The amount of people with the right experience for his job, who'd actively want to work 5 days in the office, for an apparently regressive board is vanishingly small.

Well I just ran a poll and 150% of people would rather snort a line of glass than spend a minute in your company. 50% of people polled said they'd do a line up each nostril. So there.