The Fish

Have you seen their injury list?

Oh aye, I can genuinely load it and fuck around for hours before playing a competitive match. I can spend ages on staffing the coaching and medical teams too. Like, in the Championship, do I really give a fuck that my 'keeping coaches are only rated 3rd in the league? You bet your shiny ass I'm going to spend the next 30 minutes trying to find a coach that's better while arguing with the board to increase the spaces on the coaching team. Though quite what the point in the Sports Scientists and Data Analysts is, is a mystery. I'd like if you got feedback from your coaches about areas of the system that are perhaps letting you down, suggesting playing someone in a different role that maybe they're not perfect at, but works better in the formation/system. Instead, you have to rely on trial and error, until you find a couple of systems that work, which can come a cropper if your asymmetric 4-1-3-1-1 suddenly stops working. It's frustrating when a player demands gametime, gets it, then moans that you've dropped him because he's posted subpar performances. You have the option to say "Last time I played you, you were shit", but I've never had a response other than "Well I don't see what that's got to do with anything?!" With Newcastle in the Championship I play; At home against the best sides and away to good ones: 4-4-1-1 counter attack with attacking fullbacks. Atsu as an out and out Winger, Ritchie a Wide Midfielder. Perez as an Advanced Playmaker behind Mitrovic. Shelvey in the centre as a Deep Lying Playmaker (that he's being re-trained into) alongside Hayden who started as a Ball Winning Midfielder, but as the yellows started stacking up I changed him to a Central Midfielder with his individual instructions tweaked to close down much more, and dribbling, shooting less. So basically a Ball Winning midfielder that doesn't snap into tackles. Most of the others I play a Wide 4-2-3-1 controlling the play high up the pitch. Ritchie/Christie plays as an Inside Forward, Atsu/Lincoln as a high winger, Perez/Kuki as an Attacking Midfielder just behind Mitrovic. If I face a team that I'm heavily favoured to win I'll play the narrow version of the 4-2-3-1 and put the mucky little fuckers under the kosh.

Course they have

So if we don't sign anyone and Shelvey is out for the season, would I be as confident? no, obviously not, but that's a pretty unlikely set of circumstance. And I'd have faith in Benitez to shuffle the pack until he finds a good combination.

Where does it say that? I saw this in the Chronicle

You know the Chinese consortium that are looking at Boro? "They have also had a conversation with Sunderland but do not believe that to be an attractive proposition right now, despite owner Ellis Short looking to sell. "

And the ones that do join them may be enough to drag them across the line, but in 12 months they'll be in the same shit state they are now. Joleon Lescott has been out of contract for a while, hasn't he? Edit: On 29 August 2016, Lescott joined Superleague Greece side AEK Athens on a two-year contract.[41] The 34-year-old defender suffered a detached cartilage in his knee while cycling in his apartment. The injury ruled Lescott out for the remainder of the season. The player denied to get help from the team's doctors and insisted to complete his rehabilitation in the UK. AEK Athens did not agree to the player's wishes and additional demands, which resulted for his contract to be terminated on November 14, 2016 by mutual consent. If that doesn't scream "I don't much like this foreign place and I want to go home", I don't know what does.

Benkovic can play further forward and I'm assuming he'd be able to fill in across the back line? The £25m for the pair may well be split £18m for Coric and £7m for Benkovic to make sure Ante Coric has a football fwend.

If we sign some quality in the window, yeah. If Shelvey gets crocked but we pick up, say, Townsend, I'd fancy his quality to shine through sufficient games to drag us over the line. Other than Atsu, we don't really have a player that reliably gets past players, sign Townsend and defending teams can't smother the supply as easily.

Ok, Check the team report that your assistant manager's done for you, itll be on the left and look like a folder, underneath the tactics button. That'll give you a broad understanding of where your team is strong, or weak. Are there any glaring gaps in the 1st team that you need to address, would 1 injury to your striker leave you playing some unproven kid? If so, send your scouts out to find you whatever you're in need of. You can set instructions by clicking Magnifying glass -> Quick search -> first team player -> position -> role, then apply filters. Look at your staff. Is there a coach there who's stealing a living, if there a scout with judging CA & PA of <12? If so, find a better replacement and when the new guy is ready to sign you'll be offered the opportunity to get shot of someone (unless you've extra staff slots to fill). Then think about what kind of football you want to play at the minute. Best to start simple as your team are going to have to learn it, the more complicated you make the formation and instructions, the longer it'll take for them to get used to it. Arrange some friendlies, choose them wisely and be prepared to tear up your tactics three games into the season because your overlapping fullbacks are knackered before 1/2 time, or your new clever striker just got snapped by some Latvian behemoth.

Whenever I see one of the lads on my shortlist getting bids from teams I'll match their's, at the very least it gets me to the contract stage where I can throw phat bonuses at him to confuse him and his agent into signing and ignoring that optional 2 year extension I've put in there.

I think it was me. Wait until I've got comfortable. Chair, cuppa, biscuit... right. PRAISE ME MOTHERFUCKER

That's why I'm hoping we get a quality central midfielder in before the window shuts. Shelvey getting injured is possible, Shelvey getting another ban is possible. Rotherham marked him so closely in the 1st half he couldn't impose himself on the game and while we managed to find a breakthrough we might struggle in other games if they take a similar approach. Very confident we'll get automatic promotion, pretty confident we'll get the title too.

Doesn't look like the kind of player that Rafa would be interested in; he gives the ball away cheaply and doesn't contribute defensively. He plays wide on the right flank and that's Ritchie's home, and it's not like we don't have other options there. Townsend I can just about understand; Rafa's worked with him, he has performed well at the club before, etc. etc. Modou Barrow? Looks like a Darius Vassell type to me, lightning, raw, bags of potential that will likely not be met. And for that reason

I don't get the connect, but have a lol anyway.

Lets get Cisse back, with no pesky offside rule to stop him he'll bang 'em in for fun.

Think that's why people had such high hopes for Krul, not many 'keepers could have had a better (and busier) debut. Bet that's a tale he uses on the 43yr old grannies who huddle by the night club entrance puffing on a Lambert and Butler

Wouldn't it better for them to put the Red Button facility to work and have options to watch any of the 2 or 3 fixtures live with local commentators, and in addition, the BBC Red Button main hub showing a host, a couple of pundits and flitting between highlights as BT Sport do on their European football show?

Confidence must be so much of a 'keepers game and he never looked like he had it. Neither does Sels. Not saying there's not a good 'keeper there, but he's not going to find his feet at St James', best thing for him is either a loan deal somewhere he'll not be under as much pressure, or just to write this move off and go permanently.

True enough, but they're world class satirists so I'd expect them to go beyond mocking his speech patterns, comb over and tiny hands and looking at the policies that are pushed through etc.

Depends what you want, if you want the rapid fire games of yore, you might be better off getting FM Touch for a tablet. If you want to really get into the granular levels now available, I'd say it was excellent. It remains the best football management game by an absolute mile.

Colbert, Jon Stewart*, Jon Oliver must be rubbing their hands at the material they're going to get from Trump. *I'm assuming he'll still be an exec producer or something on the Daily Show.

Funniest thing will be the state the mackems get themselves in when they someone refer to us as a yo-yo club. Should they drop I reckon it'll be less and more

What's wrong with the WhoScored things?