The Fish

I honestly think I do more research for my unpaid, ramshackle podcast than these professional pundits do for their actual job.

on any reference to their Beach Ball goal "No where near as lucky, no matter how many times you mags trot it out. A shot on target, hits a big fuck off balloon that's in front of the goal and goes in. Yours was a mis hit shot that is going for a throw, that then hits another player that then deviates it onto another players heel and it then loops into the only place it would go in."

He wasn't wrong.

I should get points for predicting the opposite scoreline. I'm not above pity points.

Some of the logic is a bit of a mess; Newcastle are shite, but they should be 20pts clear. They could be in real trouble if they don't sort their shit out. They're not just an underperforming talented squad lacking in commitment, nor are they just a plucky side, working their arse off but ultimately lacking in quality. They're shite and​ indifferent. £20m could buy the talented individual to help someone like Norwich survive, or be spent on 4 grafting pros to help Villa stay up. £20m couldn't buy enough talent, or enough graft to save Sunderland and they don't have 2p to rub together anyway. They've only Pickford who'll raise any serious funds, not nearly enough to overhaul a squad. If they do succumb to their fate this season, and nothing drastic happens behind the scenes, they could be fucked. Here, Mr Badluck, stay the fuck home, eh?

A deserved win if not through 100% deserved circumstances. Had Murphy or Atsu put their chances away from the 'keeper a 2-1 win would seem just. Win against Huddersfield and we go 11pts clear of 3rd and, if Brighton don't bounce back against Forest, 4-5pts clear of 2nd. Huddersfield will be a massive game, but they play Man city tonight and injuries to key players, a humiliating defeat, a gruelling battle into penalties, are all possibilities. Impossible to predict how they'd react to that as well. A humiliating 4-0 might give them a fire in their belly to bounce back, or it could crush their spirits. A win against Premier League opposition could fill them with confidence, or it could lead to complacency... Huddersfield are all about the hard-pressing style, so I don't think Gouffran's bang average movement would reap any rewards, but a 'Big Man' might. Each player is going to be under a lot of pressure, so we shouldn't play powder puff midfielders like Perez (despite his goal), or a liability like Colback. I'd prefer Diame and Hayden, but I'm not sure if the latter is fit?

Yup.

Oh aye, that Brighton crowd can be brutal. If you're not careful there'll be some very cutting asides about your fashion sense.

We're a good side playing without a lot of confidence and without key men; Gayle & Hayden. They're a good side playing with confidence and without the injury problems. We're making silly mistakes and not being efficient up front. We're beating/drawing with poorer sides, because we're much better than they are. Not the case with Brighton. Draw's not a great result for us and it'd be great for Huddersfield, but I'd take it if it was offered now.

You'd have thought, given how often he needs one, he'd have the hat and gown ready with interchangeable trims.

I don't disagree, I just found the whole post a bit melancholy.

To be fair, that's a low bar you've set.

Not sure he'd get the criticism he does if Man Utd had properly replaced Ronaldo.

If he does he won't break Shearer's record.

He's the first player I've seen that might come close. 1.62 Games per Goal, or c23 goals a season. He'd need another 8 and a bit seasons at that rate to get to 260. That said, a couple of 30 goal seasons (which isn't beyond him) and obviously that total doesn't seem so far away. Few caveats of course; He'll have to stay in the Premier League which is less likely now than it was in Shearer's day He'll need to stay relatively injury free Lukaku's only 23 goals off the 100 club and he's the same age as Kane. Think he'd have to leave Everton if he wanted to regularly post >20 goals a season.

Certainly means that every game is one where we need to grind out a result. Must be daunting pressure for the younger players like Hayden, Perez and Mitrovic?

Trouble is, they've more chance of nicking it. We look a bit wobbly at the back and our strike force isn't full of confidence either.

That's not how they play though. It's conservative, deliberate, counter attack and set pieces. Just like it was for us under Hughton.

So, rarely then.

I'll be delighted with a draw, and I reckon we'll lose it 2-1. They'll be confident, 60% of their points and 60% of their goals have come at home, they've only conceded 9 goals at home, losing only once (to Brentford). They've four players on double figures, we have one.

... have I been made redundant and not told?

ages ago I laughed off suggestions he might beat Shearer's Premier League record... not so confident now.

Really? That surprises me. Agree with you that this talk of abject failure is nonsense like. We're not Villa, we're not even Norwich. We're comfortably clear of 3rd, we're on course for over 97pts, by what measure is that failure? Because other teams are also​ doing well?