The Fish

Aye, I knew it was a club like that. Y'know, poxy.

Rafa that.

I was properly nervous in the first half, but as soon as Atsu's goal went in I calmed the fuck down. I don't think it was a great performance by any stretch, but it was another performance that was good enough to get the job done. I thought Mitrovic played well but he was obviously lacking match sharpness, as some of his choices weren't the best. He had a couple of 1/4 chances but never really had an opportunity himself. Good awareness and execution for Atsu's goal and was decent at holding the ball up throughout the game. Only looked frustrated a couple of times, did anyone see if he stropped about Ritchie taking the penalty? I saw him begging for the freekick. Lascelles looked a bit panicky, but by christ we look a lot more solid with Clark in the team. Anita offered very little and exposed us to Barkhuizen's pace, ritchie looked up for it and a threat throughout the game. Shelvey and Hayden were too deep for my liking, but I can only assume that was to try and draw Preston out? I don't think Shelvey had one of his best games and we suffered because of it. For all Perez scored twice, we 100% need a 1st choice #10. Fucking delighted to get back in the Premier League. I mean the Championship has, at times, been a right fucking laugh. But the standard of refereeing, the poxy little clubs with their poxy little attempts to attain relevance by sharing out spotlight, the poxy tv coverage, the poxy pundits, the poxy "narratives" about us... that can all fuck the fuck off. Now it's on Ashley to back Rafa Benitez properly in the summer and make sure we don't drop down again.

How much do you reckon the incoming transfers could cost? Would you be happy enough with those you mention being pushed further from the 1st team, but still in the squad, or do you want them gone? I'd be all right with keeping Perez & Lazaar, I still think there could be a useful player in Perez and I've not seen enough of Lazaar to write him off yet, but he was cheap, he's still young and maybe when we're playing a more counter-attack style in the Premier League his pace may be more useful?

Who was that QPR player who handed in his transfer request as soon as their relegation was confirmed after their game. Was it Chimbonda? Cheeky fucker must have had it rolled up in his bunghole.

You're bullishly optimistic? Right, well that's definitely us playing shit, in a soporific atmosphere, stumbling to a draw that precedes a turgid stuttering end to the season.

Fanks Mike

I can understand not wanting to spend £22m on Tom Cairney, and perhaps the Townsend deal wasn't as close as we were lead to believe? I think Benitez will be backed in the window. Mostly because Ashley seems perfectly happy to spend in the summer window. My biggest concern is Benitez identifying a need to spend in January and not being allowed to.

Oh it's fine normally, but I'm still in debt. Especially as it wasn't a good 3hrs, it was on a sofa in a room without blackout curtains or owt. After a lot of drinking and a particularly unhealthy diet. I just need to get back in the black. Missed a load of football over the weekend, even the Chelsea/Spurs game that I was watching in the pub. Still trying to wrap my head round the various permutations across the leagues. When will Sunderland (and Middlesbrough's) relegation be confirmed?

I had about 3 on Friday, 4 and a bit on Saturday, 8 last night. Will get about 7 tonight. I'll need a full night before the weekend I think.

Been watching Big Little Lies. If nothing else the soundtrack is top notch.

They said the same about Hitler. Spear tackle him and save the world, today.

You're not wrong. I genuinely considered calling in sick today. I think next time I'll try to make sure more of the day is taken up with eating and less with drinking. Oh and getting a good nights sleep might help too.

Why don't you say something? "There's a queue mate." should suffice. Embarrass him enough to obey the same rules as the rest of the office? Unless he's a boss, in which case just spear tackle him in the photocopying room, then take 100 copies of his face smooshed into the glass. That way your colleagues will know you're proactive, comfortable pushing back against authority, physically intimidating and decisive.

Not to get all racialist, but every china town is fucking terrible for that.

I've stopped biting my tongue, offering a hearty "You're welcome!" as they pass.

The hope is that this part of the structure will see us signing more players for positions that are weak, instead of another player for an already strong* position. He clearly identified fullback and centre back as areas of concern that he wanted addressed in the summer, that's why we signed 3 fullbacks and 2 centre halves. Paying for older players, for English players, which is not something we've been keen to do under Ashley. *comparatively

Related to that, anyone who stops at the bottom/top of an escalator. People who hold the door open for you when you're just a little bit too far away. Means you've either got to do that shitty half-run/jog, or they've got to wait longer than they probably wanted. People who put their trolley across the aisle in a supermarket, then give you the stink eye when you move it out the way.

Parky hacked your account?

I'm anticipating HMHM to have a great deal of fun at my expense. I'm hoping against all hope that someone says something ridiculous to distract attention from this all.

I think we've all been there, so we can all be a little sympathetic.

Oh I dunno, commuters can be cunts anywhere. I've had to shoulder past inconsiderate arseholes on the Metro.

People who stand at the doors for the tube/train but don't step aside for you to get off. They just stand there in your way, as if you can become non corporeal at will and drift through them. People who wave money to get the attention of bar staff. People who don't understand putting headphones in your ears as the universal "don't talk to me" symbol.

Fuck knows how I'm going to get through the day. I've had no sleep, nothing with any nutritional value and have poisoned my body a lot this weekend. I just want my bed and an apple.