The Fish

Was carrying the little'un to the pram on the drive, my ankle gave way and I and just fucking earthsong-knee-dropped onto the concrete off the bottom step. Knees are fucked. The wife called me a dickhead, the baby thought it was a right laugh, hastily deleted the scene from the Ring doorbell.

I dunno. I think we've got a chance this season and certainly next. Good chance of getting to the semi final where we'll likely meet Arsenal, Liverpool or Man Utd. Two of those will have their eyes firmly on winning the PL, or challenging for it. Man Utd under Amorim could be another in an increasingly long list of men who fall short. FA Cup is another chance of trophy success.

The only pie chart I like, is the one that charts the number of hairy pies I've eaten.

You don't turn gay, you gammony Brexit Top Gear cunt.

More like

I'm astounded that you, of all people, would pass up an opportunity to check out* the newly qualified teachers. *perv over** **bind, gag, abduct etc.

I'm clearly, CLEARLY, posting with tongue in cheek. Even if we spent an hour discussing the finer points of his phonics work, I'd still want more because I'm a modern, engaged, excellent father. Not like you checked out deadbeats.

That's grand for subject specific meetings, but 10 minutes to cover everything from maths to overall behaviour? It's not long enough. Especially in his first real year of school. I understand the time pressure teachers are under, and 5 minutes x 30 kids x 4 classes per year; it's a lot. Buuuuut I don't care about anyone else's kids, I want a full run down on my special little angel, ok? Even if it's just an hour of them saying

Did one by zoom yesterday. Basically a 10 minute exposition dump monologue from the worst film you've ever seen. I can repeat the full insight I got into my boy's scholastic performance; He likes school, he's got mates, he's doing fine, his handwriting could be smaller 👍 No time for questions, no room for clarification. Could have been an email.

That's a lot of words for "Cunts"

Why, in the name of the deep blue sea, would you ever choose to trek into the Swedish hellscape when you could just click & collect?

Explore Our Click & Collect Service - IKEA

Picking your girlfriend up.

Can I let you into a secret? I hadn't even looked. I tried Adidas, JD Sports, DHGate, etc. But the official online club shop? Nope. I deserve every ounce of criticism.

Yes

Wanted to get my little'un an away kit, but can't find it anywhere online. Anyone got a clue?

Ted Lasso is fine.

He's more a Marmalade Man.

Lovely bit of TT nostalgia. Fully expected Wolfy to pop up with some horseshit, or me to wade in with loads of words but no cogent argument.

I thought you were talking about the recipe, I didn't realise the depths of your pedantry.

I'm sorry, what were you lying?

Pervert.

As long as you're buying decent mince with a fairly high fat content, it should cook well enough.