The Fish

Fffffffucking hell, trying to do a shop in M&S while the Saga crowd are in. Marjorie doddering along with Roger, parking their trolley horizontal across the aisle, creating huge lines at the checkout because they cannot understand the self scan stuff. Fuckers haven't got long left, you'd think they'd be in more of a hurry.

Feel this deserves at least one lol. Ya bunch of ingrates.

Soon Darren Fletcher or Tom Baker

Hopefully when he next risks putting his head above the parapet, someone will share this poll with him.

We give them hookers, and quiet roads to dump bodies, what more could they need?

The same reason it's in quotation marks. That was written by his lawyer.

"Nooooo MAM! it was these other boys, they go to a different school!"

Dunno if you're just being obtuse for a laugh, but I remember when "being friends on facebook" was some silly almost geeky thing. The amount of times I'd meet someone on a night out and become their friend on facebook was ridiculous. People just accumulated friends as a social game of one-upmanship. It wasn't serious at all. It was a throwaway website where we organised a Uni night out or shared photos of a Uni night out. Now it's this leviathan that's trampled it's way into political discourse. I do think someone with a link to fascist agitators shouldn't be anywhere near British politics, BUT it's ridiculous to me that facebook holds this much weight.

Humility is for the weak.

Leicester among the favourites to go down? No manager yet, possible points deduction hanging over them, and a pretty rough March and April.

18 minutes

That's not the Brucey Bonus you make out. Ipswich will be full of enthusiasm and confidence, all giddy to be back in the top flight. Their first home game of the season and it's against one of the 'big boys'. Slot's first taste of the English top flight, away from home. I'd rather we had Brentford at home first, to be honest.

As an aside, isn't it fucking ridiculous that "being Facebook friends" is something that is 'newsworthy'?

(1) Dominic Scurr on X: "🆚 #NUFC open their season at home to Southampton at St James' Park on August 17. They end the season at home to Everton on May 25. Aston Villa on Boxing Day at St James' Park. Sandro Tonali return date v Spurs on August 31. https://t.co/lyT8Ovrm2T" / X

December and April are pretty brutal for Everton.

First 6 fixtures have 4-5 winnable games on paper. Hopefully by May much of the final league positions are sorted and we don't need points from Arsenal and Chelsea.

I'm in the office room at the back of the house, so having a Ring doorbell means I can tell the delivery person to wait, or leave the package somewhere, without needing to come away from the call or, more realistically, the game of football manager. The Mrs is either out at Baby yoga, baby sensory, baby dance, just meeting friends for a coffee, or dealing with a hungry/sleepy baby so can't answer the door.

You think I hadn't thought of that? And you're right, nobody in their right mind would have it on.

They're a ballache and no mistake. There's no way for me to fuck around with the field of vision so that I don't get alerts when next door is getting something delivered, and as my Mrs is on Mat leave she's singlehandedly keeping Amazon's stock price high. Don't think it's pushed me to bringing about the downfall of society yet, but never say never.

When you start in the gutter, there's only one way to go. No I didn't... does this mean I go down again?

Assassinated Spencer Perceval

I know, He means brown people, or the wrong kind of white people.

Or is it genius? That selection misstep may have made him less attractive to the Manchester United board? Modern problems need modern solutions.