The Fish

You going to shit your pants, to really sell it? (dunno if that's hugely offensive or not, but I'm going to chance it)

Aye, I didn't really think they'd say what I suggested. Wait.. are you the fabled Mag at Work?

How do they phrase that argument "Mr Short, the gaffer won't let us go to the pu... erm he's making us trai... well, erm...Adam's not allowed to go out for a Chinese take away anymore and it's affecting morale!"

Your erection took longer to go full mast, than if it was a real sexbot?

I forgot Kid Dynamite is a crack addict.

The Milky Bars are on you. Put an enhanced treble on last night; Man Utd, Barcelona, PSG at 5/1 Lovely old job.

But the milk compliments the cinnamon and the sugar?

It’s partly Short’s fault for hiring the wrong people for the board room, and in the manager’s office. I mean, who in their right mind would have given Paulo Di Canio a shot in the Premier League? But to be fair to him, he’s spent a lot of his money backing each failing manager with sums that are larger than all but England’s elite (£210m since Short buyout ). The managers have all, in their way, been entirely unsuited and most seemed like a panic appointment. Even Allardyce didn’t seem like a considered choice, more like “Shit, we’re in the mire again, who’s around, Holy crap he’s available? Throw lots of money at him!”. There was never a “plan” , they were trying to put out a forest fire a bucket of petrol at a time. The squad that Bruce left was all right and O’Neill seemed a sound appointment, but then to go from someone of his calibre to Paulo Di Canio is hilarious. Had they failed to survive in his short spell I think they would have been better off financially, there’d be a better feeling around the club and they may even be in a better league than they are. A relegation at that point could have seen them shorn of all their overpaid turboshit players, seen a restructuring of their finances and a more considered approach to the club’s future. No more years of focussing solely on clawing their way to survival, but actually building something with the players that are coming through, establishing a long term style of play that works for the team and the fans, reconnecting with the fans.

Elland Road hosted LEague 1 football for a few years. I know it's 8k short of the Stadium of Light's capacity, but that's still a huge stadium for England's 3rd tier. The average attendance in that league so far is 7,600, but that's skewed massively by the 17,000 and 20,000 pulled in by Portsmouth and Bradford respectively. Bradford pull in nearly 7 times the amount Fleetwood do.

Yeah might give that a rewatch. Cheers

It'd be great if I was hampered by a crippling agoraphobia, or something like that. I think that can be bested by trying things. But when you're afraid of failing, the very act of trying is part of what you're afraid of. How do you defeat that?

Went to visit a few mates last weekend. One couple brought their little laddy, who's been sick. Now the rest of the group are sick as dogs, throwing up and pissing out our bumholes. So I need a film to watch this afternoon as I have a little pity party on the sofa. Any suggestions?

Tempted, sure, but what if I try to resolve it and I fail and my life is over?

He's certainly up there for me. Can't think of too many who'd be ahead of him in the list of people I'd like to see publically humiliated. From lording it over some 13yr old 'keeper to rubbing his hands against us, to the way he was with us, his helicopter tour video and now his punditry. Actually is he still doing punditry or has he been benched?

Absolutely I do. The big obstacle between who I am and who I could be is "yeah but when you fail your life is over, so don't try and you'll be fine mate."

Which is exactly why so many Brexiteers are the way they are and vote the way they vote.

By lodging a bid for Rooney to open the door for Man Utd? I thought that story was just people trying to sound ITK?

When the last of them to try and use "6 in a row" to win an argument realises that it just makes them look fucking stupid given the situation they're in. When we went down we were derided for our arrogant belief we'd bounce right back up, but objectively we had the best manager in the league, he'd spent well on a squad, rather than buying big names, we had a core spine to the team that was at best lower Premier League, at worst top Championship and most importantly we had few arseholes and a good number of hard-working solid professionals. It then transpired we had one of the best strikers in the league, the best right winger (Knockaert can suck my plums), the best Central Midfielder, the best defence in the league and so on. Our "gambles" paid off on the whole; Atsu, Clark, Hayden, Murphy, Yedlin, with only really Lazaar and Sels being total failures. They've gone down and are now stuck with their 3rd choice manager who is bang average in the Championship, a man who's not been backed anything like enough, regardless of their healthy transfer income. He's signed fairly well known names, rather than addressing key weaknesses in the team. After relegation they were left with a team that was at best top Championship, at worst League 1. Only Lamine Kone is good enough for the Premier League on his day, and he clearly couldn't give less of a shit. They haven't a reliable striker, any real creative spark and a leaky fucking defence. None of their "gambles" have paid off. All that said, I still think they've enough in their squad to survive, but that that is even up for debate is a damning indictment of the way that club has been run into the ground for years. The warning signs were there, flashing stark cautions into the wearside gloom, but every season those signs were eclipsed by the spotlights shining on the derby wins, the relegations or whatever else was happening at circus that is Newcastle United. "You finished on 39pts and would have gone down if.." "DORRRRRTY KNEEEES! Horse Punchers!" "You failed to get 40pts again and all your points came in th..." "Borini is class marra! 3 in a ROWWWW!" "This is the 3rd year in a row that you've failed to get 40pts, aren't you worr..." "HE SHAGS WHO HE WAAAAAANTS!" "4yrs out of 5 you've been involved in a relegation fight." "Wis sent yiz dooon! 6 in a row! Yis are gutted! Yiz'll be down for years, Benitez won't stay and it's a pub league." "You've been relegated, there are persisting rumours about administration and you're in the bottom 3 of the 2nd flight." "6 IN A ROW!"

If you describe it I'm sure I'd be enthused, but their own site makes it sound a bit shit. Hadrian's Wall 1/2 Marathon sounds an awful like "London's" Southend airport.

Urgh, we get it you have a Partner I saw a counsellor at Uni and I have regular chats with my GP. I was lucky that the counsellor offered advice about triggers, about mechanisms to deal with my depression, and so on. She avoided steepling her fingers and asking me to talk about my childhood. Forgive me if I've misread it, but this sounds like you're rooting around for a central problem? And once you find and address it, there won't be anything between you and the you you want to be? Obviously if you don't forgive me, we'll have to fight and we know how you feel about confrontation, ergo I win...

"Taste" defeat? Are they not full up already?

Don't get Rooney's association with Shepherd like.

A slight poacher who scores but doesn't contribute hugely to the rest of the team?

He had good movement in the box and I figured him for a bit of a poacher in the Chicharito mould. Don't think he has the technique to play #10.