The Fish

They'd need to double their PpG to get to around 50pts, which is the total that people seem to think will lead to safety. I think it's a little lower, but the fact remains they need a significant up-tick and I don't think there's anyone in the pool that they can fish in, that is up to that job, given the squad they've got and the funds they have to bolster it. The only bit of good news for them is that they're scoring goals, in fact they're about midtable for GF, their problem is how many they're conceding. (and I suppose how often they have to come from behind). So if someone can come in and tighten them up at the back they might see a genuine improvement on the pitch and in the standings. That said, Hull are also free-scoring (Only 1st placed Wolves have scored more!) and they're stuck in 20th only 4pts clear of the relegation zone. Current - 10Pts Current - 0.625PpG Average Relegation - 46pts To get to 47pts you need - 1.233PpG Magic "Safety" number - 50pts To get there you need - 1.333PpG They need about 37 points from 30 games. Which works out to be about 4pts from every 3 games for the rest of the season. Whoever comes in will have a massive job on their hands.

They could, but that would be some going, wouldn't it? Good lord.

I didn't say that though. I said an interim manager couldn't do much worse than Grayson did. Not that he's shit, just that he did poorly and you'd be hard pushed to do worse. I mean, you'd need to go on a run of 16 league games without a win, do worse than P8 W0D3L5 at home, conceding more 2 goals a game. Grayson is a decent coach at that level, who was dealt a tough hand. But it's fair to say he did poorly with that hand.

They're in a desperate situation, and the kinds of demands he'll make of salary and budget wouldn't make most clubs blink, but financially they're fucked, so anything more than fuck all will be a stretch. He'll certainly cost more than any interim manager, and I'd not be surprised if he asked for more than Heckingbottom would have.

Why aren't they just giving it to one of their first team coaches, while they search for the best possible candidate? The bloke is already on the wage bill, he'd already know the strengths and weaknesses of the team and he surely can't do much worse than Grayson did. They may even uncover a galvanising figure like Hughton. McCoist won't be cheap, neither would Coleman. Both will want to spend a bit of money that Sunderland don't have and both will be expensive to get shot of when it all inevitably goes wrong.

Michael O'Neil joins the long list of managers who've told them to fuck off

One does not simply walk into West Ürümqi.

You've not seen my beard.

Well, ok, but purely because it sounds mint in a Geordie accent. "... and that's why the excellent characterisation of Blade by Snipes was ruined by the poor direction, poor script and poor supporting actors." "Aye, whatever, pass us the taramasalata ye fuckin nerd!"

Don't worry, I'm bringing a carboot full of Marvel movies, Marvel comics and essays on comics to your house to show you why you're wrong. It should only take 7 or 8 hours, but I'm bringing my own projector and I'll grab some doritos on the way.

You two need this?

Desperate to be a "derby". The Middlesbrough of International Football.

I don't want you to come over anymore.

Blade is decent. Blade 2 has Bros Kudos. Blade 3 is an abomination, with or without Ry-Rey

Wanna come over and have a Marvel Movie Marathon? I'll make smores! Ahh, c'mon mate. I need this.

Perfect, cheers. You're now my best friend.

Speaking of Merson and Gascoigne. That drinking game they used to play where they'd get four of them together, and they'd all put a wad of cash on the table. then drink red wine and pop sleeping tablets, last one to fall asleep wins the money

as if I could be that concise.

W D L - GF - GA 1 2 3 - 5 - 11 Just how bad did you think our record was?

Which are you using? Mine is pretty much dead in the water. Be the wind in my sails Gemmill. Don't do it for me, do it for my lass.

You had three hours sunshine, more than most X-Factor winners.

I don't understand.

I am, sporadically. But I've not been able to bother my arse to do much about them at the mo.

Orrrrr a website told him