The Fish

Was aiming for the Delboy version of the idiom, but clearly I should stick with the pretentious horse what brung me.

How am I supposed to know that Alex?! There were no winky emojis, there was no italicisation... I'm not Sherlock fucking Holmes y'know!

I could probably prattle on about Luton town as much as I do about Sunderland, but fewer people would care.

Plenty of time, but as I said, to get to 47pts (which may not actually be enough for survival, but is the average) they need 36 points from 28 games. This is a club that's managed 1.3PpG once in a decade. As KD says, if Birmingham beat Middlesbrough Sunderland will be 7pts off safety. They've got a decent run for Coleman to try and get points, facing 3 of the bottom 6, and 2 of those at home. But they look shocking at the back, and their 'keepers are fucking awful. Coleman needs to sort their backline out tout suite, because if he doesn't and these easier fixtures go by without getting them at within touching distance of safety, they've got a pretty stinking late Dec/Early Jan where they could be cut adrift.

It's no guarantee of safety this season but average surviving team has picked up 47pts. If Sunderland are aiming for that they need 36pts from the next 28 games. In other words they're needing 12 wins when they've only managed 16 since May 2015.

I read the last bit as a rebuke of his frankly absurd £400m valuation. Given the club is probably worth around £280m as it stands, £300-£350m is still paying over the odds for us.

Not us here in Cuckland. We sleep in a pool of our liberal tears.

Bet he's got Pepe pyjamas

Rayvin is. The massive fascist.

£25 man. You couldn't get a taxi home from town for that now.

So, if Ahsley doesn't sell, and if he fails to invest in the window, and if Rafa says enough is enough, do I then think Ashley would go for Pulis? Maybe, depends if he's cheap or not. the point was Rayvin seemed to be suggesting that Pulis' availability was a threat to Benitez' position. Which it fundamentally isn't.

No bother mate. How much did that trip cost all together? Also, why wouldn't the old cow serve you?

yeah I'm with Parky, I'm sure it's interesting/funny/meaningful, but I can't be chewed to read that block.

Football facts and a beard is basically a skeleton key to a world of boobs and fannies.

Aye but if Jake Gyllenhaal saw some pretty girl chatting to me, he'd think she had something wrong with her, he'd hardly be jealous. Especially when he's not looking for owt.

Exactly. We're not close to them in terms of value. So I cannot see why lowballing Ashley would strengthen Staveley's negotiating arm in any discussions with Liverpool. Sky Sports reporting that another bid could be made before the end of the week.

No we can't.

What an arsehole he is.

Gloom is a drinker. Proper Madmen style drink cabinet in his wood panelled office. Plus I heard he calls his secretary "kitten".

Me too.

Why would lowballing Mike Ashley strengthen her chances with Liverpool's owners? Newcastle are worth, what, £280m? Liverpool are worth £1.5bn. Ashley wants to sell. FSG don't.

My analogies are always shit, like a an overweight man trying to touch his toes.

See this is where we diverge; in what world would someone make their first bid non-negotiable?