The Fish

Given our injuries, that's pretty much the best team we can field. Diame, ffs

Can't wait to cruise around Knutsford rapping along "Who am I just de girls dem sugar alright hear me now whoa na na na na na na na na na na na oh na na na na na die zim zimma who got de keys to my bimma"

Bee-Em? It's "Beemer", you bellend.

We've also got a Golf and the service we've had from them is superb. The computer kept telling us the tyre pressure was an issue, so we took it in, they found a nail in the rear driver's side, removed it and repaired the tyre, gave the car a clean, replaced the oil and washer fluid etc. Whole thing took maybe 45 minutes. Didn't charge us for any of it and gave me free coffee and biscuits while I waited.

You are a taxi-queue pest though.

It's nippy.

definitely a hangover.

Sounds similar to Coleman with Wales.

Hi five lil buddy!

There are two explanations for that gag; Hangover, or you've just become a father.

You own a Roomba, you chode sporting knacker.

... it's the Mickey Mouse song from Mickey Mouse Club from the 60's I'd have thought you would have watched that at the time, with your great, great grandchildren. It's also used in Full Metal Jacket.

Will do, cheers. fwiw, I got a good deal with Admiral, both of us are insured fully comp on both cars for £1k between us. I've had no "No claims bonus" as I've been a named driver on various policies rather than accumulating them on a policy of my own. She's lost her no claims because some Chelsea tractor claimed £700 for a paint job after a supermarket fender bender. *shaky fist*

I'd rather be the dart board.

Nah, I just used жиберип өчүрүү

Aye, a mate warned me about that so I started googling This is local; http://www.independent-bmw-servicing.co.uk/ but I got inexplicably angry at the matey "Too broke to visit a garage" and "For a service with a smile (not a grunt)". That was compounded when they say "When people use jargon, they may as well be talking to you in Clingon! Sometimes it'd be nice if somebody would explain things in plain English." "Clingon" ffs

Don't you drive a Mazda MX5?

I couldn't cut it as a salesman, because I'm not enough of a cunt.

Not in those words specifically, but aye I did.

Took an old 5 series estate out for a test drive, but it felt old, brakes were spongy as fuck and the upholstery was tired. When it was clear the sale wasn't looking positive the salesman gave up and acted like a right sullen cunt. So I go to test drive another couple of cars I'd found. Just so happens one of them is at a sister dealership of this place. I get there, am treated well, take the 1 Series out for a test drive and love it, go away "to think about it", get £400 knocked off the price and pick the car up the next day. Job's a good un. Then I get a phonecall from the branch manager who says the first guy is claiming that because he saw me first, I'm his customer and he should get the commission He didn't sell me the car he showed me, he didn't show me the car I bought, and in truth he put me off buying the car he showed me. Salesmen... all cunts, but this one was premium grade arsehole.

Hope they're ambitious with the design and don't build a flatpack Riverside style stadium.

BMW 1 Series. Because I too am a cunt.

Who's the mental Serbian Whose goal rates 1 in 3 M-I-T, R-O-V, I-C Mitrovic Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as violent as can be M-I-T, R-O-V, I-C Mitrovic Mitrovic, Mitrovic, Forever let us hold your banner high! High! High!

Never knew that about Cruyff, any idea why he wasn't offered another contract by Ajax? Given he's a Dutch footballer, I'm expecting him to have fallen out with someone...