The Fish

Don't you drive a Mazda MX5?

I couldn't cut it as a salesman, because I'm not enough of a cunt.

Not in those words specifically, but aye I did.

Took an old 5 series estate out for a test drive, but it felt old, brakes were spongy as fuck and the upholstery was tired. When it was clear the sale wasn't looking positive the salesman gave up and acted like a right sullen cunt. So I go to test drive another couple of cars I'd found. Just so happens one of them is at a sister dealership of this place. I get there, am treated well, take the 1 Series out for a test drive and love it, go away "to think about it", get £400 knocked off the price and pick the car up the next day. Job's a good un. Then I get a phonecall from the branch manager who says the first guy is claiming that because he saw me first, I'm his customer and he should get the commission He didn't sell me the car he showed me, he didn't show me the car I bought, and in truth he put me off buying the car he showed me. Salesmen... all cunts, but this one was premium grade arsehole.

Hope they're ambitious with the design and don't build a flatpack Riverside style stadium.

BMW 1 Series. Because I too am a cunt.

Who's the mental Serbian Whose goal rates 1 in 3 M-I-T, R-O-V, I-C Mitrovic Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there You're as violent as can be M-I-T, R-O-V, I-C Mitrovic Mitrovic, Mitrovic, Forever let us hold your banner high! High! High!

Never knew that about Cruyff, any idea why he wasn't offered another contract by Ajax? Given he's a Dutch footballer, I'm expecting him to have fallen out with someone...

Called 3 earlier and explained I never use close to my 12Gb allowance for about £29pm. I barely use 3Gb and want to reduce my expenditure, so what can they do for me? "Well sir we can be offering you a very good deal, a brand new iPhone with 15Gb allowance for £30pm." Fucking idiots. I'll be switching asap and Virgin looks a good deal.

Partly the media side of things, but mostly having a smarthome appeals to me. Mostly because I want to be Iron Man.

Yeah we're getting Hive or Nest installed when we get a house in the new year, but I figured it could be a thing that people could buy me now, so they don't end up wasting money on shit I don't want or need. Like a Tool Kit. Or a "funny" book of awful taxidermy.

Suck my hairy balls, Alexander.

I've thought about that a fair bit and I realised I don't give a shit.

How's that? Teenage girls big fans of remotely setting the thermostat are they?

Does he have the smart home devices to make the most of it? Like smart plugs, Nest/Hive type things?

Given did alright for us.

There any must have gadgets I can suggest my family get me? I'm being pestered. Anyone have the Echo, or the Google Home?

Well written doesn't mean loads of long words or iambic pentameter. Just decent grammar, a decent sentence structure and so on.

They'd be top 6 and challenging for Europe dontcha know?

The lament of the beaten man. Back in your box Quiffy.

Harder to get shit players performing well defensively, that's why, usually, it's the teams with the worst defence that go down, regardless of how free scoring they are. You're as bad as CT man. Oh and Coleman is no Benitez. I didn't see how it could be controversial to say that it's easier to get a defensively sound team winning games, than it is to get a defensively shocking team winning games... then I remembered you're mostly a bunch of ornery dickheads

Well, that should convince Mr Ashley to sell up.

Oh sure, I just mean I'd prefer a defensively sound side that I need to help create/take chances. That's more about instilling confidence and loosening the shackles a bit, or perhaps changing the personnel. If I've got a side who're shipping 2 goals a game I'm going to have to work so hard drilling their defensive shapes, how they set up at set pieces, their workrate and concentration levels etc.