The Fish

Wasn't there a mackem done for shitting on a grave? and one caught of video having a wee in the street then calling the lad with the camera a "black bastard"? but, sure, one of us sparks out a horse and we're the classless ones...

Shit, did I miss something, are we in the bottom 3? 3pts from safety? With nobody to come back into the squad from injury?

Me either.

Suggested watching that to the lass, she wanted to watch "a couple of episodes of Motherland" instead. Jesus. H. Christ.

Draw/frustrating narrow loss at home to Leicester 0-1pts Narrow Win/Draw win at home to Everton 1-4pts Shellacking at Arsenal 1-4pts Win at Moyes' West Ham 4-7pts Shellacking entertaining Man City 4-7pts Beat Brighton 7-10pts Beat Hughes' Stoke. 10-13pts

Off the top of my head; In isolation only the Watford game was a surprising disappointment. Bournemouth and Burnley were close games that could have gone either way, and the defeats against Chelsea and Man Utd were entirely predictable. They coincided with our thin squad being stretched and our performances should improve when Lascelles and Merino return to full fitness. Murphy has improved with each game and should provide competition when Atsu, Ritchie and Aarons are all fit ( )

... erm... in Rafa we trust? I guess...

BREAK OUT THE HATS THAT ARE MADE IN ECUADOR BUT WE CALL PANAMA HATS

Hope this isn't a Phil Brown tale.

Dingbats is easy mate, but my Dad would rather cheese grate his cock off, than play that game. Fucking hates it. Think it's a pavlovian reaction to playing it for hours cramped in a narrowboat on the macclesfield canal as it pissed down outside.

Monopoly is a sure fire way to family arguments. I prefer games where my towering intellect assures a victory. Like Trivial Pursuit, Mastermind or Pop-up Pirate.

He'd be up in the attic with me, talking shit, drinking whiskey and avoiding a game of fucking Dingbats.

Aye, it's Christmas Day, you can eat whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want.

Going to be fucking impossible to score past Yashin given the size of that ball.

Sure you do. People will sharp leave if you come back downstairs, naked but for the bathrobe loosely cinched about your waist, turkey leg in one hand gravy pan in the other. Settle on the sofa, pop a tv boxed set on (making sure it's one with gratuitous sex or uncomfortable violent scenes in) and mutter "getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout" like a misanthropic mantra. I can run him over. I would do if you stopped grinding them. Read that like you're getting a dog for fucking. Like a shopping trolley, a sweeping brush, a fucking dog.

Even when you're having Christmas at your own gaff?

Wolfy didn't.

To be honest I was thinking "8 cans? that's not too bad is it?" Me and my dad start the day with "a wee dram to warm us up". like we're in a crofters lodge on the side of a mountain, instead of a retired couple's oven of a house, and after that livener it's endless red wine, prosecco/champagne and finally more whiskey before arrogantly falling asleep while the wimminfolk natter on about some bollocks on tv.

Christ mate, that's brutal. I could always run them over if you like?

Don't need to detect them, they come looking for me.

I don't think so, but he might be. I, on the other hand, am plenty hetero. Yep.

I knew Rayvin was a sex-tourist type.

Just meant his harassing contribution. You bell.