The Fish

Off the top of my head; In isolation only the Watford game was a surprising disappointment. Bournemouth and Burnley were close games that could have gone either way, and the defeats against Chelsea and Man Utd were entirely predictable. They coincided with our thin squad being stretched and our performances should improve when Lascelles and Merino return to full fitness. Murphy has improved with each game and should provide competition when Atsu, Ritchie and Aarons are all fit ( )

... erm... in Rafa we trust? I guess...

BREAK OUT THE HATS THAT ARE MADE IN ECUADOR BUT WE CALL PANAMA HATS

Hope this isn't a Phil Brown tale.

Dingbats is easy mate, but my Dad would rather cheese grate his cock off, than play that game. Fucking hates it. Think it's a pavlovian reaction to playing it for hours cramped in a narrowboat on the macclesfield canal as it pissed down outside.

Monopoly is a sure fire way to family arguments. I prefer games where my towering intellect assures a victory. Like Trivial Pursuit, Mastermind or Pop-up Pirate.

He'd be up in the attic with me, talking shit, drinking whiskey and avoiding a game of fucking Dingbats.

Aye, it's Christmas Day, you can eat whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want.

Going to be fucking impossible to score past Yashin given the size of that ball.

Sure you do. People will sharp leave if you come back downstairs, naked but for the bathrobe loosely cinched about your waist, turkey leg in one hand gravy pan in the other. Settle on the sofa, pop a tv boxed set on (making sure it's one with gratuitous sex or uncomfortable violent scenes in) and mutter "getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout" like a misanthropic mantra. I can run him over. I would do if you stopped grinding them. Read that like you're getting a dog for fucking. Like a shopping trolley, a sweeping brush, a fucking dog.

Even when you're having Christmas at your own gaff?

Wolfy didn't.

To be honest I was thinking "8 cans? that's not too bad is it?" Me and my dad start the day with "a wee dram to warm us up". like we're in a crofters lodge on the side of a mountain, instead of a retired couple's oven of a house, and after that livener it's endless red wine, prosecco/champagne and finally more whiskey before arrogantly falling asleep while the wimminfolk natter on about some bollocks on tv.

Christ mate, that's brutal. I could always run them over if you like?

Don't need to detect them, they come looking for me.

I don't think so, but he might be. I, on the other hand, am plenty hetero. Yep.

I knew Rayvin was a sex-tourist type.

Just meant his harassing contribution. You bell.

Not seen enough of Murphy in the flesh to say, to be honest. re: Perez wide, oddly I think we'd miss the pest in the centre. Though a 4-3-3 might get the best out of him, but we just don't have the other wider forward.

Yeah I was going to say that with the players we have our central forward would be isolated as the other two would more than likely be too wide. Frustratingly though, Ritchie and Murphy are more likely to cut inside a bit, rather than bomb to the byline and cross.

Good to see young British managers given a chance to prove themselves

It is frustrating, but there's nowt we can do about it. Grab this book, it might help

I'll try and do one over Christmas, if you want?