The Fish

Nope, but Newcastle have never been top half of the table with Rafa Benitez at the helm before.

Yeah, £14.5m on Wijnaldum, £13m on Mitrovic. £12m each on Thauvin, Shelvey, and Townsend.

Spent more than £11m once last summer, twice the summer before, and 5 (five) times the season before that.

Man City, Man Utd, Liverpool, Arsenal into Champions League Chelsea get Europa League via FA Cup. Wouldn't Leicester get the other Europa League spot?

It would be great, but we'll draw this and it'll be a stinker of a game thanks to Allardyce's dour negative tactics. 1-1 Rooney or Walcott to score theirs, Kenedy to get ours.

Doesn't work as hard as Perez does to close down and harrass though. He's a bit of a MoTD player, for me. Like Zaha at Palace.

Actual Shortlist, or betting site shortlist?

Think it's unfair to say Mitro is a hit or a miss. He's scored goals in the top flight and in the Championship, he just doesn't play the way Benitez wants and as such won't feature for Newcastle unless Benitez decides we're going to play a different style. Slimani has fewer Premier League goals and assists than Mitrovic, and none for us thus far. I like the look of him, but I'd not be shocked if we end up looking elsewhere. Shaqiri doesn't strike me as a player that would fit well in Benitez's style. Also, isn't he more a wide attacking player?

Aye Perez has been good lately, but there's far better out there and if he gets injured we've nobody else who can play that role the way Benitez wants. Agree about Slimani like. He's looked decent in his brief cameos, but he hasn't scored, and has only played, what, 40 minutes?

I'm hoping for some of the stars of that HTIC video. "Ay, burrif we wuh pulayun Burton and Rothrum everey weeyek weyed be beytin tham an all"

Chelsea supporting mate is arguably one of the most negative fans I've ever known and I put his moaning about Conte, Alonso, Zappacosta down to that negativity. But watching their game it's pretty clear that he was right. Conte's set them up with little to no chance for them to create something, to get behind Southampton, or pull them about to make space for the likes of Hazard. Azpilicueta was arguably the best fullback in the league last season, but Bertrand made him look average most of the game. Alonso is a shitbag and should have seen red. Zappacosta is terrible too. Wonder who they'll get in to replace Conte?

I think we need to buy for the 1st squad at; CF(£20m), LW(£15m), #10(£20m), CM (£15m) =c£70m Cover for CM, LB, RB = c£15m

We come up quite a bit, even when we're not a car-wreck. They do seem to try and balance how often they talk about the big clubs, whereas the other pods will happily spend ten minutes talking about Man Utd, Liverpool and Arsenal every fucking episode.

No worries, I'll send you an audio file of me talking about it for you to listen to in the bath. I warn you though, I tend to ramble on and don't get to the point as quickly.

I do, and settle in for an hour or so as I explain why that shows a lack of intelligence on their part.

It's just bizarre. I think it's because we both use long words and have a tendency to write longer posts than they like. Unfortunately for them I don't think a considered point can be put across in three words and a smiley. It winds them up so much though, I'm baffled as to why they don't ignore me? Instead they swarm onto any thread I've posted something in, eager to tell me a) how they think I'm obsessed with Sunderland, 2) how I'm actually you and iii) how my posts are too long. a) I'm not 2) I'm not iii) they are That Zig81 bloke is the worst of the lot, I swear he spends more time calling other people names than actually talking about Sunderland. Off the top of my head he'll be; an overweight taxi driver, probably served in the military, voted Brexit to stop immigrants but definitely isn't a racist, thinks he's a hard man and that it matters, enjoys those football hooligan movies, hasn't got a problem with "poofters" but thinks it's unnatural... Y'know, a cunt.

To be honest I can't be bothered with The Times podcast, the Independent podcast, or the Totally Football show either. All spend most of their time talking about the same teams, raking over the same trash tabloid stories. I don't care about Mourinho's latest outburst, or if Arsenal fans want Wenger out this week or not. Prefer Football Ramble, and Not the Top 20.

If they're that keen, can't they just appeal to mackem twitter? They shouldn't use the #FTM hashtag though, that is the hashtag used by member of the trans community who're transitioning or have transitioned from Female To Male.

Been watching "The Defiant Ones" on Netflix, which has sent me spiralling into a Jimmy Iovine album love-in.

Takes longer to whip off the jeans than it does the joggers. So if I get randy I can quickly limp to my masturbatorium and knock one out. A little Barry White on Spotify, Lavender candles lit, one fist full of the Brigadier and the other round the throat of a dead seagull.

I want to build one of those. With a BBQ, pizza oven, normal oven couple of prep areas, shelves for stuff.

A film I can watch safe in the knowledge I won't have to explain it, that bottle of wine we were saving for a special occasion....Jeans swapped for joggers, just in case the mood takes. Glorious