The Fish

He fucking wasn't like.

Do you work for Cambridge Analytical.?

Weren't they also rumoured to be in for Crouch, Carroll and every other big lump of a centre forward?

That's the dream. Mitro fouling their player to smash home an 89th minute winner for Fulham, tearing his shirt off to celebrate wildly and not being carded for either infraction.

You're right, I've the sensibilities and tastes of a golden haired adonis.

sure thing fatso. Like you're an expert on politics, music and cooking too? Thanks, it's lovely.

You cannot state that it doesn't lead to the inflation of the market. You're not a market expert.

How can you claim that? The housing market is ridiculous, not just in London. The amount I've paid for a 3 bed terrace is silly, but that's the market in the area I'm living. How can young people afford to buy their own home without significant help?

He's no Laurent Robert, and that's for damned sure.

The very fact that they've been atrocious says to me that he'll move on. They'll spend an embarrassing amount on Malcolm from Bordeaux or the like. Pushing Kenedy further from the first team and closer to the door.

1-1 Slim to open his account, but cancelled out by a moment of genius from Ozil or the like.

There's a new Predator movie in the works, Shane Black is taking the helm. Looks like it's set in modern(ish) day.

A mate of mine bought a 3 bed terraced house in Clapham in 2012 for c£450k, the last time it was valued (some time last yr) it was "worth" north of £1m. He decorated and did the kitchen, but that's it. I can quite believe a property has doubled in value.

We viewed a house where the vendor was doing all that. He showed us round his house like we were an imposition, rather than a possible buyer. He should have been talking to us about the nice area and what not, the kind of thing that most estate agents only learn from crib sheets. Instead he sullenly walked us round the house (which hadn't been tidied), moaned about the parking and left us entirely unimpressed. Compare that to the woman who walked us around the house we've bought. She tried her best to talk up the features of the house, the location and etc. but there was still plenty that we had to ask other people about (how often the trains come, is it a conservation area, where the decent pubs/coffee shops etc. are). The house was tidy, the lights were on, as were the fires. She wanted to make a sale so she'd get commission from the vendor, but at least we didn't feel like we were rudely interrupting her day. Hopefully if we move away from estate agents people will get used to the idea that it's in their interests to make their house seem as appealing as possible. @Christmas Tree surely one problem with agents having your budget and details is that they will share that information with others? It will inflate the market as the agents will push for the buyers to get a house at the top of their budgets, rather than the house that is best for them? First time buyers (who're actually attractive buyers) could be priced out of the market entirely. Also if everyone buys at the top of their budget, the house prices will be at the top of their range, unjustifiably so. Come on man, it's unlike you to take a wilfully contrary position...

It's not just that, they're not-so-subtly marketing themselves as a less odious alternative to high street estate agents. Who're globally reviled.

Good

He heard you were moving nearby?

Don't know enough about them, don't they put on you a lot of the responsibility for chasing and arguing with other parties?

Hey! Fuck you! No need to bring that up at all! Classic diversionary tactics.

Paid hundreds in surveys and searches. Most came back "Yeah it seems fine, but if you want a full exhaustive investigation we'll charge you another £x00 but you'll get a dvd!" Oh aye, I'm going to settle down in front of the fire with a glass of wine to watch a camera push through years of faeces and waste.

That's shocking, bet he had a massive knot in his tie as well. We've been fortunate, I think, but something as simple as the blind bids can screw your house purchase. We missed out, and the estate agent wouldn't say by how much we fell short of the accepted bid. So we had no idea if we were miles off, if we'd put in a slightly higher bid would we have been successful? Also I'm convinced the "woman at the top of the chain who had to exchange by 4pm" is a total fabrication. When we lodged our interest we were told explicitly there wasn't a chain at all. All types of agents are arseholes, imo.

We're not planning to leave this house for decades. Big enough to grow into and room to grow the house itself, if needs be. Moving seems to be a lot of money disappearing into the pockets of shiftless arseholes. Fortunate that we're first time buyers, otherwise Stamp Duty alone would have been over £10k!

Nah, he's not that level yet and to be honest he may never be a player good enough to old down a starting position at a club vying for the title.

Being famous for something doesn't necessarily mean you are/do that thing. Geordies are famous for being warm, genuine, funny people. But you're a miserable, humourless, Janus mother fucker.