The Fish

@Meenzer is to blame for all of this.

The most horrific scenario is the most likely in Trooper's head. Bet you Lascelles is still here after the window shuts.

You two reminded me; the Jerk chicken there was amazing.

Wasn't a massive selection in the hotels and only went out twice to be honest.

All inclusive hotels in St Lucia and Barbados. A fortnight of doing fuck all. We did go whale watching one day. That aside, we spent the entire time by the pool, drinking and eating and relaxing. Read a few books, got sunburn, got drunk. Think it was the first and last time both of us were actually relaxed for 2 and a bit years. Even spotted another Newcastle fan. Was under strict instructions not to go over and demand to know his thoughts on Mitrovic. Apparently that would be "weird" and "presumptuous".

Like Yedlin's or Perez'?

If nothing else, this is a terrible PR strategy. Onwurah's petition wasn't likely to get any traction and would have gone quietly away. The protests could have been headed off with some leaked bullshit about a takeover. Instead, Ashley has stirred up the pot again, will have the media picking over the claims in his letter and discussing his tenure for the next few days, at least. No doubt it will come up again if we're struggling, or if we have another unimpressive transfer window in January. Has Keith Bishop done anything for Newcastle's PR?

How many people shouted "see ya later Alligator" as they ran past you? I know I would have. Edit - Shouted it, not ran past you.

read the blurb on the official site? "...6th signing... strengthening the team that finished 10th." Fuck off man, he's a loan signing, just like Kenedy. Dubravka and Kenedy were here last season. We've swapped Gayle for Rondon, just like Merino for Ki. We've not strengthened much at all.

The Stodge was welcome, but I don't really remember if it tasted nice or not.

When you say the other clubs, who do you mean? Bournemouth? Burnley? Stoke? West Brom? Are these the same clubs getting left behind? Or is that Aston Villa? QPR? I never said money isn't impacting the game, but you said it's "ruined" it. That's not my experience. I think there's been a massive neglect because the government hasn't put money into it, because the money that is in the game has been poorly invested by all but a few clubs. Because the cost of sitting the badges are prohibitively expensive. Has money changed the game, yes undeniably. Is it ruined? Is it bollocks. Some of the shit we used to watch in the 80s and 90s compared to the football now? Aye there's too much play acting, but I'd rather see that than Ben Thatcher making his career out of ending others'.

Aye, Jimbo's telly.

You're daft if you think it takes very little effort to be a Premier League footballer. Even the laziest cunts work much harder than they're credited for. You could look at how money has benefited the game. The standard of football is better, the facilities are better, the access to information is better, the coverage is better, the plural nature of the game, the difference football teams can make to the regions, and so on. Kick off times are an issue some weekends for some teams. Young english players struggling to break into the clubs is because frankly the coaching of young English footballers is generally shit. There does need to be a shake up of Agents and the scrutiny thereof. There isn't a massive gap between the top 6 and the rest, the "top" clubs used to be just 2, then three, then four, now 6. The top of the table isn't a closed shop, it's hard, no doubt about it and money makes it an easier challenge, but the issue isn't that it's impossible to break into the top 6, it's the cowardice of owners who'd rather employ an old guard manager who will deliver 38-40pts with draws and shit football.

We might have chosen Mbemba... If we could turn back time.

Never really took to Gayle. He scored plenty in the Championship, but he always struck me as a bit of a mardy cunt.

Hah. Love a chat about medieval torture to be honest.

I voted Scaphism. Though Blood eagle would be an acceptable alternative.

Nah, I just think Nile Ranger should have been sorted out with a coat hanger or a push down the stairs 28 years ago

Has it actually ruined the game though? And is it not in line with the money paid to loads of other sportsmen and women? Top basketball stars, Baseball stars, American Footballers, Tennis pros, Golfers, F1 drivers, and so on? Frankly I couldn't give a shit what Matt Ritchie is paid, it's not my money. Who cares as long as he's doing his best to earn it. Could be £10k a week, it could be £100k. Conversely, Nile Ranger could be paid £20 a week and I'd say it was too much. It's not the gate money that pays for the wages, so why should fans give a shit?

Aye, he's not for me, but fair play to the lad, he's worked hard at something he's passionate about and it's panned out for him. Think the three of us on the podcast I do, don't care enough about "pushing the brand" or whatever to make it anything more than what it is now. We've a decent number of people who listen and who get in touch, but we're never, ever going to make any money off it. The "True Geordie" believed there's a market out there for him, and he's grafted to exploit it. The lucky fat bastard.

Overpaid? I really don't understand this line of thinking. These players are amongst the best, what, 1,000 or so at what they do. Were they among the best 1,000 or so actors, singers, lawyers, doctors, "celebrities" or titans of business, they'd be earning similar , if not more. Their careers are shorter and can, with one bad landing, be over in an instant. They're paid the market rate.

Oi, you little meff, have a fucking cig in your eye! Hi, I'm Joey Barton and welcome to my TED talk.

How much is he making off this? £40-50k a year? More power to his elbow, says I. Going to be hard for him to transition from shouty Youtuber to anything else in the media though. When I get the call from the National Bureau of Talent it'll be because I've stayed true to myself. Never whored myself out for money like him* *don't mention the window sales job

There's a reason for that.

What in the Hell is going on?! Never on, pissed as a fart when she is, and she gets a fucking Birthday thread? This is some bullshit right here.