The Fish

to give you an idea coffee, toast and jam = 210 Tuna mayo sandwich = 349 chicken breast with onion, pepper, couscous, feta and salad = 478 Mugs of tea = 42 Total 1069 35 minutes on the bike, moderate effort = 388 Ignoring the calories used to walk around and have a shit and stuff, that's about 681, or 1136 under my daily target. This is all assuming the figures are right, but I'm just taking it from the app.

Aye but you're an active bloke, Your body will be accustomed to loads going in and loads going out. Mine is used to loads going in. Mostly in the form of beer.

I've started at the gym again, trying to mix up the exercise so I stave off the inevitable crushing boredom. Also using that my fitness pal app and even after plugging in all the details I'm well under the daily calorie target after exercise. Shifted the diet towards plenty of fish and chicken, plenty of fruit and veg, loads of water, cooking in veg or sunflower oil and all that boring shit. My target was around 1,800 a day and after exercise I'm averaging around 1,000. I know! I immediately thought bulllllllllshit too, but I had the office gym-bore look it over and the guy at the gym who did my induction and they both say I'm not putting anything in wrong. Although Gym-Bore did remind me to include the cups of tea I was having, but even those 3-4 cups only add up to 42. I think I'll have to get a fitbit, because I just don't believe I'm doing any of this right

A Tory-boy complaining that people didn't care about his issue is priceless. I have noticed a theme from the right leaning people; they don't seem to take politics seriously. They've picked a side andnow it's all just a game. They celebrate a "win", even if it's clear that their lot fiddled the referendum, that their lot lied, that the culmination of their "victory" is that the country is in a far worse position now and very clearly headed for even worse times. Doesn't matter, cos they "won". Boris and Farage are dangerous people to give any time to, yet it's all just a big laugh. May is entirely incompetent but she dances badly so lets focus on that. Brexit is an unmitigated shitshow, but it's upsetting the lefties, liberals and luvvies so it's entertaining. It all seems to circle back to my biggest issue with the right leaning people; the "I'm all right Jack" mindset. As if society isn't something they're a part of, until they are and then the shitshow is the other lot's fault.

They didn't even hang around long enough to let me stick my dick in their blowholes.

Dunno what set him off. But I had to stop bumming this lad, set aside my beer and put down my bacon sandwich. All because he wanted to touch me up again.

Searched once, that's fine and fair enough, but to be "randomly selected" for a second search and then sent on my way without then apologising for wasting my time, nah, they can fuck off.

I was using Market Garden reference because of the sudden drop of loads of people. Where they were dropped wasn't important to me. So swivel.

Just back from a break in Mauritius. If you don't want to see a gap between the haves and have nots, stay in the hotel complex or don't visit. Just stunning scenery, great food, friendly locals (during the day), and plenty to do. But if we'd done nothing but relax it still would have been amazing. Only downsides were the swimming with Dolphins trip, having to transfer through Dubai airport and Emirates. The former was a bit rushed and frantic. Of course all the promotional material shows smiling idiots petting dolphins, but this wasn't like that at all. Boat takes you to a spot where they know the dolphins are likely to be, along with about 15 other boats, your guide/drill sergeant ordering you into the ocean is reminiscent of operation Market Garden. Splash about a bit trying to spot a pod of dolphins who're likely scared and baffled by the sudden nonsense above them, then ordered back into the boat which tries to guess where the dolphins are headed. Orderered off the boat again and back on... it's a bit shit to be honest. I can't imagine the dolphins had much fun either. Dubai airport staff are surly and rude. I was searched twice for no apparent reason and with no apology afterwards. Unless the bloke just wanted to touch a man and this is his only chance in that country.

Wasn't that after Corden had been acting the cunt, y'know, for his entire career? All the stories I've heard about Corden make him sound like a twat, who's only nice to celeb-mates, or if the cameras are rolling. Patrick Stewart comes across a bit smug at times, but he's a nonagenarian and not many 60yr olds are chilled out.

Given nobody's buying it, given nobody's wound up by it, and given it's not funny, when is t00nraider going to drop the act?

Weather is supposed to be 24 and sunny. Think we've got stuff planned for most days, so we'll not be doing loads of sight seeing, I reckon. I don't make friends on holiday as a rule. I think we've got a good deal on our hotel www.lapirogue.com/en but obviously we'll not get the full picture until we're there. Stick your negativity up your shit pipe

Lack of replies shows how shit a terrorist this bellend was.

Anyone been to Mauritius before? Yes this is an unsubtle way of saying I'm off to Mauritius.

Got an episode or two in then realised it is total shite.

Kind of true for facebook too, as soon as they opened it up to everyone, it became instantly shit. Because people are shit.

What show did you put on? Basically I want to know if a lass got her chebs out?

Is this not a leaf on the same branch as the tv shows having a climatologist who's studied climate science for years, dedicated their career to the investigation of the planet's climate, who's literally written the book on climate change, and then some home-schooled, howl at the moon, youtube conspiracy nut climate change denier, y'know, for balance?

I'm usually up for imtercourse but I'm off out to Cumbria soon. Crack on with the studious lad, it'll baffle the luvvies who'll expect you to be a massive racist, y'know, because you look like Tom Hardy's portrayal of Bronson.

I know fuck all about PR, but surely the goal would have been to obfuscate any dissent under a sea of "news". Leak a rumour that the club has bid for an exciting player. Leak a rumour that Ashley's been in London to meet with people re: a potential take over. This statement was totally pointless as well, the excitement of the new season and a good performance against Spurs would pour cold water on the protests. Have the joint statement in your back pocket in the protests happen, write them as if it's from Benitez and Lascelles, not Charnley.

Aye, that's the thing for me. Our starting 11 is a little better, and we finished 10th last season because of Benitez, and the first team core. A core that are all still there. Kenedy and Dubravka for a whole season is good news, Rondon looks like an improvement on Gayle and Joselu. After them Ki, Schar, Fernandez, are all replacing squad players and Muto is an unknown, but surely one for the first team squad? Because of all that, we should still be a decent Premier League outfit, so I don't think we'll be relegated. Huddersfield, Cardiff and 1 from Southampton, Bournemouth, Watford, Burnley, Brighton will be in danger of the drop this year I reckon. I'm excited to see Kenedy, curious about Muto and Schar. But every positive pre-season emotion is ruined by that shiftless fat cunt.

2-0 for Spurs, Kane to break his August hoodoo with a brace.

With the letter to parliament and this letter, Keith Bishop is showing why he's such a big name in PR.

Surely just a mackem on the wind up?

Surely this isn't worth it for him any more? Surely he could bank the £300m from selling us and have a much nicer time of it all?