The Fish

I don't know where to start with this. Perhaps getting his name right?

Think the introduction of VAR has been bungled. Offside should have been binary and obvious (I'm not having 3cms as "offside"), and this handball law is horseshit.

They're years from a return to the top flight. Likely only play them in the FA Tinpot or the Women's league for ages. Could be a generation of talented kids from the region available to the only show in town, if only we'd invested in the academy.

Called it to be fair

Forget about driving in central London, it's a nightmareish hellscape. Think Deathrace, Carmageddon and Mad Max, but more bleak.

Still a better football chant than the OP

Aye, Mrs Fish is still struggling. Just getting a 10lb baby into the carseat (+ however much that weighs)and into the car is a killer when I'm not around. We'd just leave it the car, but we've a mate who did that overnight and someone stole the car, had a joyride, set it on fire and nicked all the baby stuff was nicked or ruined and not covered by the insurance. So of course that's put the fear in her hormone addled mind that it's guaranteed to happen to us. Had to laugh when, just hours after the little fella was born, wife exhausted and post major-abdominal surgery the midwife came round to talk about contraception... I reckon that screaming monster in the cot is mood killer enough

Joking aside, I've no idea how single mums do this. Especially if they've needed a c-section.

Given our current situation, I suppose it kind of makes sense, no fee, modest wages for an experienced Premier League striker. There's no way it should have happened though, if we'd kept Benitez the window would have looked very different imo.

Could be worse, there's a South African princess-typefrom the Antenatal group who insists she and her husband do everything together. She doesn't put their kid down either, so he's getting fuck all sleep, then going to work, going home for lunch etc. She's a fucking nightmare .

What the asscrack are you two on aboot?

Her rules.

Worked out a pattern, so I have him from 20:00 to midnight, then fuck off to the spare room for 5-6 hours sleep before going to work. Feel bad for Mrs Fish last night because he slept peacefully for most of my shit, woke up angry about five past midnight, strained, had a massive shit and apparently have been fussy all morning

I assume it's ok, I doubt I'll ever be allowed near it again.

Knackered. Son was born June 27th. Mrs Fish had 28hrs labour before ending up with a c-section because little man was in the wrong position and wasn't so little. Born at 01:57 am, weighing a hefty 10lbs (4.5kg). All fine and dandy, however the hospital boots people out at midnight, so we finally get down to the ward at about 4, and the midwife immediately tells me I have to leave. Normal birth that might not have been a problem, but Mrs Fish had been in hospital since 8am Monday, had been nil-by-mouth since tuesday night and hadn't slept properly in days. She could barely sit up, let alone pick up the chunky little bugger. Other parents from the Antenatal group said the partners were allowed to stay overnight in the other hospital we were considering. Anyway, he's mint, got the first couple of proper smiles last night.

Cheers, Had less time to spend on here due to work, and the arrival of a little Fish on June 27th

Good to see somethings don't change. Northern Monk is really good, for what it's worth and the venue was amazing. We paid to hire the place for the Saturday evening, but anything we spent at the bar was deducted from the total.

Agree to disagree, I don't rate him that highly as a ball carrying CB, but what the fuck do I know?

Nice one. The epic bantz is in effect.

Got married there and genuinely drank them dry of one their beers.

He's a big brute of a CB, but is he much more than that? Never thought of him as an organiser, nor particularly good on the ball. £85m is mental.

At £65, it's now the most expensive shirt in the Premier League. Top of the overpriced tat league! https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/sport/newcastle-uniteds-65-shirt-the-most-expensive-in-english-football-gsh9jw0rj That's not even the £95 you can shell out on a "Players authentic" shirt. Robbing cunts.

Called it.

true enough. It might not be accurate, it probably isn't, but I'm just saying that preconception is what's stopped me searching out a game.