The Fish

Aarons is still only 25. Feels like he's been at the club forever. Showed flashes of talent, but end of the day, if he couldn't break into our first team regularly he'll never be Premier League quality.

If Chelsea are paying for cameras and analysis equipment and it helps the boys club financially, then fine. I don't think either side of it are doing anything wrong. It's Ashley failing, yet again, to have a modicum of football business sense. Have ties with all the boys clubs in the region, throw pennies at them to foster a good relationship and you will have several production lines of saleable assets.

You mean FIFA21 Team of the Year nomination Joselu?

I met Mrs Fish through internet dating, but Tindr was exclusively used by people looking for a shag. I don't think my combination of face + pleonasm, prolixity, and verbosity would work well on Tindr.

It was weird around our way, people who've never said a word to eachother in years smiling and waving as they smash pans together. Think it lasted about 4 weeks before people binned it off. I did it once, because I wanted to show support to the NHS, but then I realised they'd probably not hear it and would be better served if I just used my vote to make change instead. Then I remembered I live in a safe Tory seat and tumbled down the "everything is fucking pointless and shit" rabbit hole.

I immediately started wondering what they'd threatened him with to get him to read that out. There's no way that was written by him, and there's no way he wanted to do it.

Make up tips?

I thought he lost it? That's mental. Did he still get a Presidential Library? Speaking of which, will Trump's just be a strip mall with a Trump-Merch store, a Burger King, and a casino/strip club. Ah, fair fucks. Cheers.

I think the only way to get the most out of Joelinton is to play him as part of a front 3, with a team that controls the ball and possesses great movement.

Wouldn't worry about that.

Read somewhere that it just needs to be VP and majority of the cabinet? Pence won't get on the ticket again, surely? Too much Trump stink on him?

Any further news on the rumours that Pence might invoke the 25th Ammendment? Would Trump lose the 'President' honorific if he was removed from office? That, being blocked on twitter and having a mugshot without the fake tan and his hair styled might tip him over the edge.

You don't think any death would be interpreted by his fanatics as an assassination? Because I do. I think if he were to die any time soon the hordes of Appalachian arseholes would pile into their veehickles, lock and load and then non-violently protest by running people over and shooting them.

Sure, make a martyr out of him. His zealots would blame the pinko commie libtards and go full Falling Down. Better he's jailed and the Latin Kings run a train on him.

We're going in circles. You think he's the worst player to pull on a Newcastle shirt and is beyond redemption. I think that he's playing in a side managed by Steve Bruce and because of that, he (like everybody else) looks worse than they are.

If nothing else, it would give him more opportunities to touch the ball.

I'll be saying that in about 7 months.

Rayvin is, in my head, a 17yr old sitting in his mam's boxroom, surrounded by anime posters and kleenex. But everybody else is in their mid-to-late 30s. Except Renton, who is in a comfortable chair by the staring window.

Fuck me, it's Hugh Laurie!

Out of curiosity, who do you think is younger than you?

He doesn't open himself up either. He needs coaching. He's still so raw. But we've seen, with decent coaching, even Moussa Sissoko came good. I mean, he scored against Brentford last night!

I think you're being too harsh on him. I think if we had been playing football on the deck a bit more last season and he wasn't so fucking isolated, he'd have better acclimatised to the English game. If he was played in his proper position with a decent players and a settled, sound system, he'd look better. As it is, in this team, only the 'keeper and a couple of defenders look like they're playing anywhere near their level. If we'd kept Rondon and Perez, added Joelinton and Almiron I think the big Brazilian wouldn't look half as bad as he does. I blame Bruce and the coaching team. Not just for how bad Joelinton's looked, but how bad the Longstaff's have been, Almiron, the fullbacks, the whole team really. Joelinton just gets the lion's share of criticism because we spent £40m on him, and Bruce inexplicably kept playing him out of position.

When he's caught on camera being dragged out of his daughter's room?

I honestly think he could be a decent (not £40m) player with the right coaching. Ameobi was never blessed with a good touch and he was a solid, if unspectacular, Premier League player. What he learned, eventually, was how to play to his strengths. He became a decent target man. Similarly, Joelinton could be taught how to play off a striker. I don't think any manager employed by Ashley will have the ability to teach him, but that's another problem.

Think you're tunnelling on Joelinton being the worst player to ever pull on a black and white shirt, despite that clearly being bollocks. Get him playing under Hassenhutl, Rodgers, Nagelsman, Klopp, Guardiola and I think there's a decent raw talent there to be molded.