The Fish

They're a fair representation of where we're at now, but things like players returning from injury, or a team going on an unlikely run of good form can skew the numbers a lot. Still, I'd say that given all the factors, the bottom 3 are likely to remain the bottom 3 at the end of the season. So my willy stays waving.

Once the piracy issue is put to bed, surely the PL would see the KSA $$$ and reckon on the other clubs just moaning for a bit then, getting over it? Wonder if Spurs had as big an issue with any of the other recent takeovers?

The only issue is the piracy. If the Saudis weren't twocing the broadcast, this takeover would have sailed through.

Look at you trying to wind him up, you Masters Baiter.

My only worry is that, if Ashley is still in charge Bruce will keep his job. Even if he is fired, it'll be a quick spin of the rolodex to find another useless gomer from the pile of British shite we've endured before.

Retail reopens, Ashley immediately bins off a store. I am shocked.

Aye, I can't see anything but a comfortable win for them. They're in good form, Lingard won't have to break sweat to avoid Shelvey, him and Bowen will have a field day against us.

6 from Sheffield and Fulham, 2 from WHam, Arsenal, or Leicester. Especially if their positions are all but confirmed by the time we meet the latter two. Going to be interesting to see if there's a big performance drop off for teams with nowt to play for, in front of empty stadiums.

No! You need to get some more shower gel by the way.

538 has us with a 14% chance of relegation, Fulham 82%, WBA 97% and sheffield >99%. Mind, they have Brighton at 1% and Burnley at 5%, I think that's a little generous. Brighton have Chelsea, Sheffield, Leeds, Wolves, West Ham, Man City and Arsenal. I'd say it's only 3-5pts from those. Burnley have Man Utd, Wolves, West Ham, Fulham, Leeds, Liverpool, Sheffield. 6-8pts? We have West Ham, Liverpool, Arsenal, Leicester, Man City, Sheffield, Fulham. 4-8pts?

Looks pretty estatey. But yes, that is very weird.

Flags at half mast around your estate in recognition of the death of comedy.

Yeah, it's probably that. Not that UM is a prick, it'll be the Labour club thing.

It's gone awfully quiet...

Keeps the Cateau de Chassilier nice and cold.

More research than I will on the dog? I have stats ewerk, stats!

I hear Prince Phillip died in the Queen's arms. Shouldn't have been in the pub in the first place.

'I love the new dog Dave, but a couple of points. Your son's face has inflated like a pumpkin, which is either because he's allergic, or because the death grip the mutt's got around his throat has forced all the blood to the head?' 'Aye, but he was free and some mouthy 'tato toucher on the internet has a problem with me getting what's best for us, rather than the cunts who abandoned the dog in the first place.'

What're you talking about, achievement? This is a fan group who're trying to get a scintilla of say in the way our club is run. They've laid out a simple win-win plan. Either we get a say in the way the club is run, or local charities get a much needed cash injection. What's the fucking problem?

It's not about raising £350m man. It's having a pot of cash to invest in shares during a takeover, a rainy day fund if the club tumbles down the leagues and needs rescuing, or, at worst, a large donation to local charities.

We can, and we will. Can't blame a fart on a pinball machine, can you? You should get a dog, a Gussethound.

Re: the rescue dogs, for us as new owners with a little'un, we want to know that the dog hasn't been abused/neglected and will be less likely to have behavioural issues because humans are arseholes. Plus we want one of a few specific breeds, breeds that rarely show up at rescue centres.

Chorley's only 45 minutes away. I live in Cheshire now dahling. Can you send me the Breeder's deets on the downlow?

Aye that's what we've found down here. Plenty of pricey pups, and the few that aren't eye-wateringly expensive just seem a bit dodgy. "Last of litter", "Hes a great puppy and hes god with kids" Breed-Female. Still think we're going to hold off for a bit, maybe wait until the end of the year to see if the prices get back down a bit. Plus we've been asking friends (and neighbours) with dogs if they can recommend a good breeder.

Remind me, what breed is it? (And if you don't mind how much did you fork out for him?)