The Fish

I'm guessing you want 4 different types of meats, maybe some blue cheese, enough chilli peppers to get you into orbit and some fucking pienapple, do you? A good pizza place makes amazing pizza with just a few ingredients. The pizza it sounds like you want were last seen on a laminated menu covered in pictures and "GREAT FAMILY DEALS". Feral oaf..

Yeah, you wouldn't catch an Italian putting tomatoes, basil, salami, and mozzarella on their pizzas... Oh fanculo.

Samosa, Pasty, Cannoli, strudel, profiteroles, tarts.

Sausage doesn't have to be pork. Pies don't have to be beef. Pies don't have to be filling wrapped in pastry, a pastry topped dish is still a pie, Shepherd, Huntsman & Cottage pies don't have any fucking pastry at all. So your defence has more holes than ciabatta. You're so many types of wrong, there's only one thing with more variety; Italian food. But that has good taste.

How undertoasted is your toast? Saying pizza is cheese on toast, is like saying beef wellington is a sausage roll! Where are you from? This philistinian attitude yo food is very American.

I can't believe these last few pages! Italian food is consistently amazing and I've had one of the best meals of my life in Florence. (Il Santo Bevitore). Even the most basic, sandwich van pisses all over normal British food. Saying pasta is flavourless is mental and I can only assume you're not cooking it properly, or buying shit pasta. And Pizza is shit? Pizza is a versatile, delicious and easy meal. Load it up with veg, cheeses and meats. You don't even need a tomato base, you don't necessarily need cheese. I'm livid.

Not with that attitude.

Thought your jab was key to the food security in Northern Ireland. To be sure, to be sure.

So it's not even new? Mate, you're so whipped.

Especially as that flag may well be obsolete sooner than later.

Why are they fetishising the flag? Is this just another Americanisation?

Well, I've been into comics for over 30yrs and I've done loads of sexing.

On Amazon -> Energy Drinks So far I've gone past Fud, Warrior, Aspire, Monster, Emerge, Virtue, Nocco, Relentless, BANG, Reign, Carabao and more... Would you say it's a saturated market?

Aye, when we've been bad before it didn't feel as self inflicted. Honestly, after the initial Gettin! on Lascelles' equaliser I just felt a bit numb. First time we went down, I was gutted and pessimistic, the second I was frustrated but hopeful, now I'm just 'shrug'. If we stay up I won't be half as excited about another season in the top flight as I should be. Not with these cunts in charge.

That's awful news Renton, sorry for your loss.

Usually I get forensic on opposition teams and the table and shit, but the past two seasons I've barely been able to remember where we are in the table, let alone anything else. The disappoint in Ashley staying compounded by Bruce's appointment, and then the subsequent shitdrizzle that he passes off as football is killing me. If we stay up, and if we get bought buy someone else, and if Bruce is booted into the Tyne, I might be interested. But another season of Ashley, Bruce and boring relegation struggles in the Premier League? Nah, not for me.

Newcastle Who would you consider the best player is for West Ham? I like Antonio, and Soucek, but Lingard has been a revelation for you , What do you think West Hams strengths and weaknesses are? You don't press well. But overall I don't see huge weaknesses. How do you think Newcastle will get on for the rest of this season? Either go down, or survive by the skin of our teeth. Not much enjoyment either way. What player for Newcastle should opposing teams watch out for? Normally I'd say Wilson, Almiron or ASM, but they're all out. Willock might be a dangerous player, but Bruce doesn't know how to set up a team, so... I dunno? Carroll if he comes off the bench for more than 30 seconds might injure one of your players? Are you happy with the return of Andy Carroll? Not really. Either he's not up to it, or Bruce doesn't trust him. Either way it's a waste of money and a squad place. How gutted were you when the recent takeover fell through? I was gutted that Ashley retained ownership. I'd prefer not to be owned by murderers. What has been Newcastles biggest struggle this season? Bruce. He was behind the times a decade ago, and hasn't changed much since then. We can't defend, we don't control the ball, and we can't create chances as a team. Wholly reliant on our 'keeper having a good day and maybe, maybe one of our talented attackers to pull something out of thin air. Does Steve Bruce deserve the criticism he receives from fans? Yes. Ask if any other Premier League club would want him and you'd get 19 nos. Couple his incompetence with his petulance, his arrogance, his knack for blaming anybody and everybody else for the issues at the club, and you'll see he deserves all the criticism and more. He'd get it from the media as well if he wasn't their mate. Do you think you will stay up this season? Maybe. Brighton are below us but are playing some nice stuff, Fulham are below us but are playing some nice stuff. If the thre amigos come back and stay fit for the final 8 or 9 games we might have enough. What are your score predictions for Newcastle v West Ham? 0-2

You think Besty, Waugh and Caulkin will want a heads up about this then?

How much does it pay?

All sounds pretty familiar, doesn't it?

Chronicle is saying the £6.5m isn't Bruce's settlement, that'll show in next years accounts.

Already had your third booster shot then?

I think it's either because I live in a Tory stronghold and they haven't cottoned on yet, or it's linked to the NHS fuck up where they thought I was the Dave with a transplant and have sickle cell anemia...

Still don't understand why, so often Carroll comes on the pitch to replace one of the wingers who should be supplying the crosses for his big heed?

I think we do have defenders who want to defend, and I think Joelinton wouldn't have been selected half as many times under a remotely competent manager. The blame lies evenly between the manager and the gomers that employed him. Bruce, like a reverse David Brent; on the surface likeable and well meaning, but a horrible twat underneath it all.