The Fish

Michaelangelo is quoted as saying "I madea de willie smalla. Life size, woulda haffbeen too beeg fora Uffizi!'

No it, literally, doesn't. That's why they call it a tomato base/sauce, rather than ketchup. It doesn't have vinegar, or half the sugar for a start.

Sacrifice nothing.

That's going to confuse Gemmil. It's where he gets his entirely undeserved sense of self worth from.

You're not honestly trying to convince me that a scotch bonnet ketchup is the same as the tomato base on pizzas? Jesus, this si the pizzas are just cheese on toast thing again. Honestly, you're a barbarian.

They look very good indeed. Cheaper than a fucking Dominoes as well

What's snobby about Heinz?

It's ketchup, with scotch bonnets in it, you bloody savage. Might as well spread some Heinz spaghetti hoops on a stottie and call that a fucking pizza.

Probably the same main ingredient from a homemade Bloody Mary, but I'm not sloshing that on a pizza base and calling it anything but a clusterfuck.

#TravelDave #GoodDealDave #DeadRomanticDave

What the fuck? Couldn't find tomatoes, used chilli pepper ketchup instead. Then I couldn't find pizza base, so just used a folded up Ikea bag. And then I couldn't find cheese, so I just jizzed on the top. Jesus Christ, I might have to phone the Italian embassy to apologise. Honestly, if you need heat, there's bound tobe a place that does Nduja and gorgonzola, or wild boar and green chillis, or something.

I feel bad that you've never had good pizza. There are two excellent pizza places near me, and we make our own. Genuinely tempted to get a pizza oven in the back garden. If you're based in Newcastle, I'm sure some on here could direct you to an excellent place for a slice of wonderful.

It's not that expensive man. Got a good deal on accommodation, the woman who worked where we were staying gave us a map where she'd written on notes of where to go, what to avoid and all that. We ate amazing food for reasonable prices and took in the museums and galleries, even got to see some opera singers perform arias in a small church. Just avoided buying anything on the Bridge, took a picnic up Michaelangelo's hill, had breakfast at the place we were staying.

I'm guessing you want 4 different types of meats, maybe some blue cheese, enough chilli peppers to get you into orbit and some fucking pienapple, do you? A good pizza place makes amazing pizza with just a few ingredients. The pizza it sounds like you want were last seen on a laminated menu covered in pictures and "GREAT FAMILY DEALS". Feral oaf..

Yeah, you wouldn't catch an Italian putting tomatoes, basil, salami, and mozzarella on their pizzas... Oh fanculo.

Samosa, Pasty, Cannoli, strudel, profiteroles, tarts.

Sausage doesn't have to be pork. Pies don't have to be beef. Pies don't have to be filling wrapped in pastry, a pastry topped dish is still a pie, Shepherd, Huntsman & Cottage pies don't have any fucking pastry at all. So your defence has more holes than ciabatta. You're so many types of wrong, there's only one thing with more variety; Italian food. But that has good taste.

How undertoasted is your toast? Saying pizza is cheese on toast, is like saying beef wellington is a sausage roll! Where are you from? This philistinian attitude yo food is very American.

I can't believe these last few pages! Italian food is consistently amazing and I've had one of the best meals of my life in Florence. (Il Santo Bevitore). Even the most basic, sandwich van pisses all over normal British food. Saying pasta is flavourless is mental and I can only assume you're not cooking it properly, or buying shit pasta. And Pizza is shit? Pizza is a versatile, delicious and easy meal. Load it up with veg, cheeses and meats. You don't even need a tomato base, you don't necessarily need cheese. I'm livid.

Not with that attitude.

Thought your jab was key to the food security in Northern Ireland. To be sure, to be sure.

So it's not even new? Mate, you're so whipped.

Especially as that flag may well be obsolete sooner than later.

Why are they fetishising the flag? Is this just another Americanisation?

Well, I've been into comics for over 30yrs and I've done loads of sexing.