The Fish

It's not about raising £350m man. It's having a pot of cash to invest in shares during a takeover, a rainy day fund if the club tumbles down the leagues and needs rescuing, or, at worst, a large donation to local charities.

We can, and we will. Can't blame a fart on a pinball machine, can you? You should get a dog, a Gussethound.

Re: the rescue dogs, for us as new owners with a little'un, we want to know that the dog hasn't been abused/neglected and will be less likely to have behavioural issues because humans are arseholes. Plus we want one of a few specific breeds, breeds that rarely show up at rescue centres.

Chorley's only 45 minutes away. I live in Cheshire now dahling. Can you send me the Breeder's deets on the downlow?

Aye that's what we've found down here. Plenty of pricey pups, and the few that aren't eye-wateringly expensive just seem a bit dodgy. "Last of litter", "Hes a great puppy and hes god with kids" Breed-Female. Still think we're going to hold off for a bit, maybe wait until the end of the year to see if the prices get back down a bit. Plus we've been asking friends (and neighbours) with dogs if they can recommend a good breeder.

Remind me, what breed is it? (And if you don't mind how much did you fork out for him?)

"I'd come in and buy everyone a cake, then tell Julian where he can stick it" Course you would.

Worst. Superhero. Ever.

Any part of the animal kingdom that hasn't painted a big old target on your back there, Renton? Dogs, Birds, I'm assuming cats think you're the enemy? Those bastards have it in for everyone.

'troubles'

just imagining a 6'2" doylem on a scooter. Like a wacky waving arm inflatable tube man on wheels.

Involvement in so much as they've bought into something alongside the other fans. Kind of like all chipping in a quid to the office lottery group. You've still got fuck all chance of winning, but it is supposed to promote camaraderie... or something.

I don't think the test will ever be an issue. New owners can just pay lip service (as Ashley has done with those Fans forum charades) and appear engaged. I suppose what it does do is promote a sense of involvement for the pledging fans, and at the very least there'll be a decent donation to a local charity.

How tall are you? Just working out which one's which

Woah, Woah woah, I'm not taking that shit from the quinoa kid!

Probably all the embezzling, fraud and inciting hatred. Shame it's not for being a cunt, because that would set a handy precedent for getting rid of a few more contrary bellends I can think of.

Is incontinence a side effect of your robo-heart?

You heard that if you crush/slice garlic and leave it out for a bit, it gets a stronger, fuller flavour?

Vaguely aware that there's a warrant out for SYL's arrest 'because he went on the podcast'. Any idea what's going on there?

When everybody is fully fit, I'm not sure if we can play the same system. Wingbacks and ASM means, whatever flank he's on will be exposed and the WB will find himself overrun a lot. He isn't as effective when played centrally, nor when he plays off the striker, so the 5-3-2 wouldn't work well. If we can maintain the same work ethic and positivity in our play, we could play a 5-4-1 but that would mean dropping Joelinton after the best game of his Newcastle career. We could try a 5-1-3-1 but without Hayden we don't have an out and out defensive midfielder, and again whichever flank ASM is on would be more exposed. Personally, I'd keep exactly the same formation, swap out Krafth for a lump of coal (or Manquillo if the CBs aren't fit). Only introduce ASM for the last 30 minutes or so. Same for Wilson. Burnley is our best chance for 3 points for a while, but I'd rather Wilson and ASM were closer to fully fit when we play the better teams, in case we meet a big team on a bad day.

Wouldn't be surprised if he's got it into his head that we need 1pt a game, so sets us up more positively against the big boys and not-to-lose against the teams in the relegation mix.

I've seen written worse.

To be honest, we've met some 'big teams' on bad days and failed to capitalise throughout Bruce's reign of error. I know it ended as a humping, but that Man Utd game, they were there for the taking, but we dithered about timidly until they woke up. Spurs were all at sea at the back, Murphy had their lad on toast and we should have won it were it not for 2 easily avoidable goals in the space of, what, 5 minutes? Beggars belief how terrible we are defensively. If Bruce is given a new contract because we stayed up, Ashley's wife should be after Power of Attorney sharpish, because Ashley's clearly lost his mind.

Yeah, I don't mind if Benitez was using us to land himself a better job, or fluff his ego, or fatten his bank balance; we were benefiting from it. Newcastle is reportedly Bruce's dream job because he's a fan, and it's ironic that we as Newcastle fans are derided for being deluded, when in reality the only Newcastle fan deluded about what we (he) can achieve is the fucking manager.

From where RB left us, to where we are now. Haven't seen a bigger decline since Souness took over from Robson (sorry Gemmil).