The Fish

See, that's where I getcha. My exercise bike has a stand for my tablet. Spins and Spiders baby, Spins and Spiders. #ThighsLikeThor #BaldPanther

Isn't mowing the lawn how you get your pocket money off your Mam and Dad?

The list of sexy bald men is long and prestigious, much like my cock. The list of sexy flaccid fellas is as nonexistent as a tent in your trousers.

Was checking some of these out, but I've a fucking load of questions that the reviews don't answer. Does yours have guide-wires and a massive docking station and all that? Only takes me about 20 minutes to mow the lawn every fortnight at the minute, would a robot one really make that much of a difference?

No, I'm sure it'd definitely be a shiftless shaft. A workshy wang.

Early onset erectile dysfunction?

Didn't use her drive, soft cock. They partially blocked it for 10 minutes. She's a mardarse who has genuinely complained to us that the other neighbours' kid was laughing too loudly in their garden. No great shock that she's divorced.

We have considered the likelihood that she's also a traffic warden and a cold-caller. Both seem very on-brand.

Neighbours on the other side couldn't be nicer. Gave us months of notice that they wanted to have an extension on the kitchen and how that could impact our garden/peace. Spotted the labourers had chewed up the grass in our garden when building a wall so sent round some booze and chocolates, then had it sorted and re-seeded. Have invited us round for a drink and barbecue when it's all finished. However, Lindsey, well... she's just a miserable cow. She's a part-time estate agent, and a landlord, so all kinds of cunt really.

You must live on the other side of my neighbour. When we having work done on the bathroom a delivery tuck was parked across our drives. Within 10 minutes I got a text and a call asking how long they'd be, as she can't get her car out. When I asked the lads to move the truck back a bit they said she'd already had a go at them and they were in the middle of getting the bath out the back so they'd have to finish that first. 3 minutes it took them. She didn't take her car out. At all. The whole day.

Live in a middle Victorian terrace, so we'd need to crane it over the neighbour's garden as well.

Pics or gtfo. Mrs Fish wants railway sleeper planters built...

Smart everything. Doorbell, lights, speakers, tv, thermostat, boiler, fridge, oven, everything.

The Saudis would definitely be Tories. To be honest, they'd be UKIP/BNP, so I'm not sure what the issue is?

I hope they haven't. They'd never recover from being acronymed by essembee

Nah, not the final. To go out in the Play-off semis would be more crushing. Getting to the final could mean they were unlucky on the day, or whatever lie they tell themselves. Failing to even get there would sow another seed of doubt that they'll ever get out of the third tier of English football.

More about financial security, isn't it? I mean, on the face of it, the Saudi takeover may turn us into a financial powerhouse, or something could go horribly wrong and they could leave us crippled with debt and facing administration. Don't think Howey's suggesting two relegations and tumultuous relationship with the fans is stability.

They could and should have battered us. Fabinho foul should be a red, [quote] SERIOUS FOUL PLAY A tackle or challenge that endangers the safety of an opponent or uses excessive force or brutality must be sanctioned as serious foul play. Any player who lunges at an opponent in challenging for the ball from the front, from the side or from behind using one or both legs, with excessive force or endangers the safety of an opponent is guilty of serious foul play. VIOLENT CONDUCT Violent conduct is when a player uses or attempts to use excessive force or brutality against an opponent when not challenging for the ball, or against a team-mate, team official, match official, spectator or any other person, regardless of whether contact is made. In addition, a player who, when not challenging for the ball, deliberately strikes an opponent or any other person on the head or face with the hand or arm, is guilty of violent conduct unless the force used was negligible. [/quote] Fernandez was lucky and should have seen red. ASM is mint.

I'm touched. And terrified.

Look, if insisting on a full 20 second hug with every tradesman is weird, I don't want to be normal.

Yes please.

We can't even get a builder round to give us a fucking quote! Mate of Mrs Fish is a builder and estimated the job we wanted in a couple of minutes when he was last over, but the pricks round here most be SoooOOOoooOOOoo busy. Arseholes.

Nah, he'll have notes on his hand written by Ashley to push back against the 'Big 6' getting anything less than a shoeing. Ashley would love for those clubs to have less power in the PL, because then he could sell us to the Saudis and get out of the business ASAP. I reckon it would be someone like Wolves, or Leicester.

Sorry, but players, managers and fans are punished when mismanagement leads to administration. The reason Man Utd, Spurs, Barcelona, and the Italian clubs wanted this league is because they're so far in debt it makes a mockery of the idea of Fit and Proper. Punishment should be meted out on them, whether it's fines, points deduction, transfer embargo, banned from CL or whatever. And if the managers, players and fans are unhappy with that, they should be reminded that it's their owners who brought it upon their club.

So, if the changes to the CL rules means that those clubs get in regardless, they can't have huge concerns over a Saudi takeover now, right? #CANS