The Fish

I did the other way, went off sick, found another job, came back, turned in my notice and was almost immediately put on gardening leave for about 6 weeks.

You're only delaying the inevitable, my pudgy potatoey pal. You will be mine.

It's a dual edged sword to be honest; you feel great to get out of the place, but the pressure to find a new job + the rejections can also take a toll. I mean, you could get the first job you apply for, but it might take a while longer. You thought about taking sick absence while you look for a new job? I had to take about a month off because of mental health issues and the GP was brilliant. Wasn't in my old role for long after that.

Fucking hell mate, sorry to hear all of that. Honestly, it's seriously bummed me out on a Thursday morning... Supposed to be off on holiday tomorrow, but I'm not sure I want to anymore.

It was obvious to everyone who wasn't a creepy loner that 'Kate' was a Saudi sock puppet.

You missed a trick, no mention of frozen grapes?

Goes well with Werthers Originals

I blame the Remoaners. If people just supported Brexit we'd all be sipping cool cans of Carling, tucking into a full English on the sunlit uplands.

They didn't miss.

Well, he's clocked 5 seasons on FM21 so I'd say so.

Fuck off, we don't get much of an evening as it is. Little bugger is often singing Hakuna Matata after 9pm.

Insufficient interest from other managers? A staggering misunderstanding of the fanbase?

But the millionaires are safe, right? Please tell me the millionaires are safe!

I'm excited for the days where instead of zero sleep, I need a crowbar to get him out of his pit. Honestly, we do all we can to knacker him out. Little fucker takes ages to go off, then wakes at the crack of dawn, full of beans. Sleeps for maybe 8 hours? I thought they were supposed to sleep 10-12?!

Quiff can help you out with that.

When your little'un starts speaking, it's amazing. Watching them start putting sounds together to make words, then words together to make phrases. Just amazing. The downside is being woken at 05:20 with "POO POO. Daddy? WHERE ARE YOU? DAAAADDEEEE, POOPOO!"

Patience young grasshopper.

Haven't we just carved off a massive wage outlay? Atsu, Carroll, Lejeune, Muto, Saivet. All of them on north of £30k, right? Lets be conservative and say £100k a week off the wage bill. There's no way Choudhury is on anything like that.

According to his latest thoughts, the reason Newcastle didn't pay the reported £1.5m loan fee for Choudhury is simply they don't have any money in the bank Ahem

Well his source is Bruce, so he won't have a scooby.

More U-Turns than a Tory government.

Fuck did I do to you?

The cheek of it when he has overseen Lee Clark's young'un leave and both Longstaffs stagnate before likely departures.

Right, what the fuck was this fucking Alpaca thing about, you fucking fucks?!

I haven't seen such a hastily constructed strawman since LeazesMag's time.